I went to see the remake of Footloose. I was pleasantly surprised. Although a bit modernized with music and moves the plot was mostly the same.
Makes one wonder...why aren't kids that close? They stuck together to make not only a petition to dance (of all things) but to put together a prom and stand firm on proving all they wanted to do was dance.
Community...do we really have it? I am a firm believer that it takes a village to raise a child. When my son was younger I did not raise just one boy, when his friends were over they were raised too. Taught to respect culture, the rules of the house and how to play well with one another. If a parent had to work late they didn't have to struggle to find someone to take their child to daycare or the next location or even home after practice. We took turns, well actually in the neighborhood we were in, I started it and it just caught on. A favor for a favor, we watched each others child. One parent was never in the dark about their kid.
We moved around a bit and it was noticeable that some neighborhoods or some parents just weren't interested. I remember 3 boys in particular, brothers. They worked as a team to steal from people. One would distract the kid, the other an adult and the third would pack up their book bag, pants and jacket. When caught cops were called. When I caught them, I made them sit...wait for their father to arrive and they received a lecture, some food, attention and than were ratted out. Unfortunately, the mother suffered an illness and could not care for them well, the father worked two jobs so the kids raised themselves for the most part. EVERYONE knew this, it was the schoolyard gossip, but no one did anything. They were at my home several more times and no, no stealing. Just hungry little guys that ate, laughed and watched TV. They grew up to be social misfits, I often think of them and shudder at the lack of interest they were given by their 'community'.
I walk a lot through my commute and see kids these days, especially in the town I live in. They walk around causing mischief, you hear the neighbors whisper the gossip when they pass but no one stops and talks to them. I often sit outside to drink coffee and talk to some of the kids, it is amazing how well they speak when given attention. Their laughter is just medicine for me. One in particular said 'why bother being nice, they think we are trouble anyway'. I didn't say so out loud, but I understood their point in a way. I'm an adult and find it hard to get a conversation with people here and also see them struggle with one another. What a shame!
Years ago in Puerto Rico during the holidays it didn't matter who had money, the best house or food. In a village/small town it was agreed that starting around Thanksgiving on the weekends a continuous celebration followed:
Those that played instruments, gathered
Those that could cook would
Those that could afford a trinket for kids wrapped them
Each weekend someone would open their doors to the instant band, catering (potluck) and gift giving. Much merriment was had but also a community bonded. They knew one another, each others kids and grandchildren. Throughout the year the kids walked to school together, parents chatted on the porch, greeted each other all anxious for that season to come on by.
I'm not saying we should have a block party every weekend, I am saying we should know one another, keep an eye on each other's kids and property (I believe they call it neighborhood watch) but most importantly we should be kind to one another. Would that be a real Utopia?
Makes one wonder...why aren't kids that close? They stuck together to make not only a petition to dance (of all things) but to put together a prom and stand firm on proving all they wanted to do was dance.
Community...do we really have it? I am a firm believer that it takes a village to raise a child. When my son was younger I did not raise just one boy, when his friends were over they were raised too. Taught to respect culture, the rules of the house and how to play well with one another. If a parent had to work late they didn't have to struggle to find someone to take their child to daycare or the next location or even home after practice. We took turns, well actually in the neighborhood we were in, I started it and it just caught on. A favor for a favor, we watched each others child. One parent was never in the dark about their kid.
We moved around a bit and it was noticeable that some neighborhoods or some parents just weren't interested. I remember 3 boys in particular, brothers. They worked as a team to steal from people. One would distract the kid, the other an adult and the third would pack up their book bag, pants and jacket. When caught cops were called. When I caught them, I made them sit...wait for their father to arrive and they received a lecture, some food, attention and than were ratted out. Unfortunately, the mother suffered an illness and could not care for them well, the father worked two jobs so the kids raised themselves for the most part. EVERYONE knew this, it was the schoolyard gossip, but no one did anything. They were at my home several more times and no, no stealing. Just hungry little guys that ate, laughed and watched TV. They grew up to be social misfits, I often think of them and shudder at the lack of interest they were given by their 'community'.
I walk a lot through my commute and see kids these days, especially in the town I live in. They walk around causing mischief, you hear the neighbors whisper the gossip when they pass but no one stops and talks to them. I often sit outside to drink coffee and talk to some of the kids, it is amazing how well they speak when given attention. Their laughter is just medicine for me. One in particular said 'why bother being nice, they think we are trouble anyway'. I didn't say so out loud, but I understood their point in a way. I'm an adult and find it hard to get a conversation with people here and also see them struggle with one another. What a shame!
Years ago in Puerto Rico during the holidays it didn't matter who had money, the best house or food. In a village/small town it was agreed that starting around Thanksgiving on the weekends a continuous celebration followed:
Those that played instruments, gathered
Those that could cook would
Those that could afford a trinket for kids wrapped them
Each weekend someone would open their doors to the instant band, catering (potluck) and gift giving. Much merriment was had but also a community bonded. They knew one another, each others kids and grandchildren. Throughout the year the kids walked to school together, parents chatted on the porch, greeted each other all anxious for that season to come on by.
I'm not saying we should have a block party every weekend, I am saying we should know one another, keep an eye on each other's kids and property (I believe they call it neighborhood watch) but most importantly we should be kind to one another. Would that be a real Utopia?
Ahh I remember when I was younger, if I got scared, I went to a block parent's house. I never went, but it was nice to know it was there. NOW? I don't let my kids go anywhere, there's no block parents, nothing, and I live in a busy area by a big mall and a stadium. :(
ReplyDeleteThat's exactly what made me think while and after watching that movie. Where is the community that starts with the parents? It's just a shame really.
ReplyDeleteThe problem is paranoia. As a man, there have been many times I've wanted to help a kid out in public but didn't for not wanting to be branded a pedophile or creep. There's no community because parents are afraid or uninterested in making one.
ReplyDeleteInteresting how an issue of community is deduced to one answer. Rather than blame (which of course is not what a community is about) what have you done to change that mentality of you? Have you knocked on doors unknown asking for to spend some time with a child? Were you 'anonymous' to the parent? Child abuse and rape is not a paranoia rather a fact of life which is part of my point. In a 'Community' you know one another, you help one another. It's not just about the children, you need to know the parents, your neighbors, that other adult who died in their sleep and was not found for 3 days because no one wanted to knock, even though they knew that person sits on the stoop every day and hadn't.
ReplyDeleteI disagree, the 'problem' is not because of parents. It's because of everyone in the neighborhood who lacks the attempt to build a community. Blaming is just as good as venting, a temporary release of frustration. My post is about no resolutions. I applaud your 'attempts' but there are centers looking for volunteers in neighborhoods, friends and family whose children may need some guidance. Lack of effort and quitting is a problem too.
There is enough blame to go around...the process of beginning a solution is what is needed.
I have to agree with all here. On paranoia, you said you move around a bit. I can see how that would effect someone (man) when trying to help and no one wants to trust. A solution may be needed but it takes the same community to begin it.
ReplyDelete