Inspiration me...Helmet, shield and armor

From the  year 2002 through 2007 consistently life was rough.  One issue after another...work, home, son, personal life, family and friends.  Through those times even though I felt as though things would not get better at my core something would nag.  A constant knowing that all would be well.  I began a series of letters to myself, in poem style.  Letters that would speak of inspiration, trials and surviving.  The one constant theme in all the letters were the helmet, shield and armor.

Each morning I would read an inspiration page, card or verse.  I would them imagine myself putting on a helmet of knowledge.  This helmet would allow me the calm and peace to deal with all the curves ahead in the day.  The shield would protect me while I strengthened and the armor would not allow negativity or malice to pierce through.  Each poem in one way or another would state how I would put that armor on, then I would remind myself of all the things that would inspire me.  Nature, music, books, meditation and/or just walking.

I have been inspired in many ways by many things and people.  It is today though where I was inspired so much I was overwhelmed.

I was invited to speak at an event.  This event was held in a garden where beautiful bushes, trees and flowers nestled in a discreet area.  Harlem, NYC right smack in between of two buildings.  If it were not for the tables outside with the pamphlets of the event, I would have passed it up it was so discreet.  An oasis in the midst of a scary part of town.  In this garden were people with a cause.  To help others in certain situations.  Their passion, voice and longing filled me with even more inspiration.  I had spent a couple of days writing what I would say.  I dug up a poem from 2002...Fighting for Tomorrrow, one of the letters to myself.

What I wrote to say I discarded soon after arriving.  The speakers before me filled my heart with what I would say.  The cause brought me back to a time when I too suffered despair and a kindred spirit arouse within me.

I humbled.  How can I inspire these people who have inspired me?  I worried the poem was not enough, I worried my words would not carry the inspiration they would need.  For they need inspiration.  Their quest is a fight that will take time and energy.  My words would be the last they hear at the event.  The pressure of that sunk in.

Too soon came my time.  I was absorbing so much information, words spoken, the characters before me, the passions I wish I had long ago to make a difference for some else.  I felt...purposeful.

I have given many a class on inspiration and intentions.  Empowering women that fall into my path or I theirs, but this was vastly different.  Something inside me made it clear this was just the beginning.

I spoke of exactly that.  The difference and inspiration I received and the hopes I could return it in a matter of minutes.  I read the poem and silence was heard.  I watched faces absorb the words and my heart filled.

When I was done I realized I was shaking flesh to words.  I looked around and felt...peace.

As I took the train home I realized it all started with yes.  I have said no to many things for so long I had forgotten the gift of yes.  It is late and I am tired.  But...I shall post that poem:

A fight for tomorrow.  ~gracey (some of you will remember my many written words of the helmet, shield and armor)

Yesterday was filled with sorrow

Today was bitter and painful

It is time to prepare for tomorrow

To brace for the disdainful

I place the shield in hand

I put on the helmet of knowledge and peace

These I wear and take a stand

As I feel my inner strength increase

I strap on the strong iron armor

None harm shall pierce through

Not a malice or heartless charmer

Only the pure hearted; the true,

will penetrate its stance

With these battle gears

I shall awaken and advance

Onto a new day….less fears

Copyright© 2007 Graciela Cardenas-Castro

Inspiration me....starting the week right....Happiness

When one door of happiness closes, another opens, but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one that has been opened for us. ~Helen Keller

Irony is that Helen was blind.  Even she was looking for the door of happiness and perhaps learned that she couldn't 'see' it because she was looking at the one that closed.

I heard it close, it was thunderous.  No way that door is opening again.  I can claw till my fingers bleed.  I can yell and beg; but there is no one on that other side to open it. I know that I must look forward and find yet another door, but........I keep looking back.

Happiness depends upon ourselves. ~Aristotle
Aristotle usually gave quotes that cut to the chase.  He must have had the patience of a speeding bullet.  But, short as they are, those quotes are enough to be appreciated.

Road to happiness
If I can not see you, how do I find you?
If I can not hear you, where do I walk to?
Lost and weary - I pray for a path.

If I look within will a map appear?
If I change my heart will a road open?
Chained and still - I pray for inner peace.

If the blind and deaf can find it,
If the philosopher found it,
Then time will answer my prayer.

2010©Gracey Castro
09/22/2010

being true to myself

These damn cards and their ability to hit the mark!

today I will...honor, cherish, and love myself. When I get confused about what to do, I just have to remember that I need to be true to myself. I will break free of the hold that others---and their expectations---have on me.  ~melody beattie

I guess that will be theme for a while, being true to myself.  I am a firm believer that one must be truthful with oneself or they can't be truthful to others.  It is much easier to close things out of the mind, to pretend, to live in a fantasy, to lie to yourself.  But in the end, the truth will slap you in the face and you will still have to deal with it.  Truth, that force that will not remain concealed.

Hello
It's been a while since we met
hiding from one another
yet knowing one another is there

I walk toward you, humbly
head down, pride gone, step by step
I see you walk in the same manner

It's been a while since we met
You are I, I am you, we surely
can no longer separate

2010©Gracey Castro

Regret, sorrow and pain

Have you ever done something that you regret?
Have you ever done so thinking the result would change?
Has the memory of it made you so upset?
The levels of morality sinking without range.

Have you looked in the mirror and held your hand to cover?
Made a choice you can't change and yet know you wouldn't?
Have you given so much that you're lost with a lover?
Have you said over and over, you shouldn't, you shouldn't?

Have you ever reached a point of self disgust?
Have you sunk so low you can't recognize your mind?
Did you find a way to walk away? Knowing it's unjust?
Have you been at the crossroad, steets Blind and Find?

How do you walk away? When do you say enough? When?
How do you accept what will not be? When do you find your self respect?
Have you looked back repeatedly to where you've been?
Did you find a way to turn it around without being suspect?

Have you ever cried until you couldn't breathe
Do you ever find a way to stop? To say no more?
Is there a way to do it without causing another to seethe?
I ask you, have you? Tell me...I implore.