If home is where the heart is, what happens when your heart is lost.
Ever the gypsy I land where my feet take me. The landscape though different brings the same storms. Diary why do I suffer to accept humanities atrocities?
People make promises they don't intend to keep. Yet, the law says I can't beat the shit out of them. Tis not fair I say.
They cram a bunch of seats in a bus, you could lick the seat in front of you without leaning forward. People insist on reclining to the point where you could lick their forehead. Yet, the law says I can't give them a karate chop to the throat. Tis not fair I say.
You try to help people and they just take and take and take until there is nothing left. Yet, the church says give more while taking a lot for themselves. Tis not fair I say. (Had more to day but I'm already on that bus to hell).
I drive on the highway, all the way to the right, slightly above speeding limit and people insist on tailgating, high beaming as if they were royalty and you should move out of the way instead of their using the PASSING lane. Yet, the law says I can't side swipe them into the nearest set of trees. Tis not fair I say.
I watch as friends struggle to get a slice a bread, then watch daily as others do nothing all day for a free check. Yet, the law says I can't take those lazy FUCKERS to the nearest shelter and lock them in there for a few days so they learn appreciation. Tis not fair I say.
Diary...if home is where the heart is....then what happens when your heart is lost?.....Tis not fair I say!
November 30, 2010
November 23, 2010
AndMore...I must tolerate people, I must tolerate people, I must NOT beat up people
People just make me sick. The whiners are the worst...you just can't shut them the FUCK up. But second in line are the passive aggressive people, PUSSIES all of them!
PICK one you are either mad and ready to do some time or your a victim bendind over for some more. I just fucking hate it when I have to decipher those sociopaths. For example: The bus I ride now (don't know if it's due to the holiday) is not full. There are plenty of seats for the people on the line and then some. But for some reason I always get some passive aggressive motherfucker that sits next to me. They make noises or angry eye contact because the light from the netbook screen is bothering their nap. This isn't a hotel on wheels DUMBASS. When I give them the 'what the FUCK are you looking at' look, they smile submissively. YEAH YOU NOSEY DUMBASS!
Whiners - at 6:30am I don't want conversation. SHUT THE FUCK UP! Bring a book, laptop, MP3 player, vibrator....I don't care what but I am not on the bus to entertain you.
The askers - Man I wish I could just put my foot up the ass of these people. They go out of their way to bother you and ask questions about shit that has SIGNS posted with answers everywhere, then they go and ask someone else when you give them the answer and point to the signs. This goes on until the bus arrives. They should just crawl in a box and wait to be buried - USELESS MOTHERFUCKERS!
The line cutters - these people are lucky there are laws in place to protect their sorry ass. These are either elderly, foreigner or Americans pretending to be foreigner. There could be a line of 30 people and they will just SQUEEZE into the line, usually irritating the first 5 people on the line. Even though they get yelled at to the go to the end of the line, while they walk to the end they repeatedly try to cut the line. Usually when they reach me I bare my teeth like a rabid raccoon. (Note to self, get something that will make my mouth look like it's foaming....make sure it's tasty).
Talkers - I can't BYTCH about these people enough. On the phone for the whole 2 hour drive talking about everything under the sun and ALWAYS I mean ALWAYS these people talk about personal shit. They could be sitting several seats ahead or behind and you can hear them like they are right next to you. DESPISE THEM!
SNORERS - they got shit for that now. Tape, plug or stuff your nose. CRAP! I don't want to hear noises that vary from someone having diarrhea to a trumpet at a parade. I nearly DIED of a heart attack with one guy last evening that would purr for a bit then let out a ROAR of a snore.
Man, if there weren't witnesses around.........................
PICK one you are either mad and ready to do some time or your a victim bendind over for some more. I just fucking hate it when I have to decipher those sociopaths. For example: The bus I ride now (don't know if it's due to the holiday) is not full. There are plenty of seats for the people on the line and then some. But for some reason I always get some passive aggressive motherfucker that sits next to me. They make noises or angry eye contact because the light from the netbook screen is bothering their nap. This isn't a hotel on wheels DUMBASS. When I give them the 'what the FUCK are you looking at' look, they smile submissively. YEAH YOU NOSEY DUMBASS!
Whiners - at 6:30am I don't want conversation. SHUT THE FUCK UP! Bring a book, laptop, MP3 player, vibrator....I don't care what but I am not on the bus to entertain you.
The askers - Man I wish I could just put my foot up the ass of these people. They go out of their way to bother you and ask questions about shit that has SIGNS posted with answers everywhere, then they go and ask someone else when you give them the answer and point to the signs. This goes on until the bus arrives. They should just crawl in a box and wait to be buried - USELESS MOTHERFUCKERS!
The line cutters - these people are lucky there are laws in place to protect their sorry ass. These are either elderly, foreigner or Americans pretending to be foreigner. There could be a line of 30 people and they will just SQUEEZE into the line, usually irritating the first 5 people on the line. Even though they get yelled at to the go to the end of the line, while they walk to the end they repeatedly try to cut the line. Usually when they reach me I bare my teeth like a rabid raccoon. (Note to self, get something that will make my mouth look like it's foaming....make sure it's tasty).
Talkers - I can't BYTCH about these people enough. On the phone for the whole 2 hour drive talking about everything under the sun and ALWAYS I mean ALWAYS these people talk about personal shit. They could be sitting several seats ahead or behind and you can hear them like they are right next to you. DESPISE THEM!
SNORERS - they got shit for that now. Tape, plug or stuff your nose. CRAP! I don't want to hear noises that vary from someone having diarrhea to a trumpet at a parade. I nearly DIED of a heart attack with one guy last evening that would purr for a bit then let out a ROAR of a snore.
Man, if there weren't witnesses around.........................
November 22, 2010
Inspiration me...Moon me
I have always appreciated the moon. In the dark of the night it brightens enough to show you what's out there. When full and in view it's magnificent sight soothes me. On a long journey home it give me hope. That frenemy hope.
You have to wait several weeks before each full moon, yet once that times passes it is there. You get a treat once a year with a blue moon, when you see a full moon twice in a month.
In the darkest hour of your mind and heart...in the way of hope it gives you a soothing peace.
I would even say that the Moon inspires me. Many times over.
It reminds me that even when hope betrays hope also provides, it all depends on how you look at it.
Go ahead, peek outside, look up at the lively moon tonight.
You have to wait several weeks before each full moon, yet once that times passes it is there. You get a treat once a year with a blue moon, when you see a full moon twice in a month.
In the darkest hour of your mind and heart...in the way of hope it gives you a soothing peace.
I would even say that the Moon inspires me. Many times over.
It reminds me that even when hope betrays hope also provides, it all depends on how you look at it.
Go ahead, peek outside, look up at the lively moon tonight.
Move Along
My dad used to say that you know who your friends were when you saw who visited you at the hospital, call when your child is very sick, stand strong when time weaken you and when you move.
Saturday 7am - the calls began, the excuses I have to admit were pretty unique. The part that is most disturbing is that these are people that volunteered. The only person that I knew would not make it in advance is someone that had been sick with the flu.
The trusty family friend was there, my sister, her husband and my nephew who brought along another teenager. My son who had to work that afternoon was there as well. Of all my moves and there has been plenty this one ran the smoothest. Meal time breaks were even just as smooth.
The morning did start with a panic attack and finding out I packed my meds. But...by the time my sis got there, I just grabbed her hand and she talked me through it. It was the last attack since that morning.
That first night I slept with a peace and comfort I had not felt in several months. Sunday morning I began the task of unpacking the boxes that would remain in the house, all else already in storage. By 4pm 80% if not more was completed. Another peaceful nights rest.
As I sit in the bus for that long ride I was told several years ago. 'Many people think they have many friends and great family. But...the reality is few have that. We have wanderers that slip into and out of our lives and if we're lucky there are a couple to a few that hang around.' That's a true statement.
I also remembered something else - through thick and thin, my sis and I stand together. That family friend stood tall beside us and the feeling of love was great.
That song plays in my head, Move Along. Appropriate to say the least.
Saturday 7am - the calls began, the excuses I have to admit were pretty unique. The part that is most disturbing is that these are people that volunteered. The only person that I knew would not make it in advance is someone that had been sick with the flu.
The trusty family friend was there, my sister, her husband and my nephew who brought along another teenager. My son who had to work that afternoon was there as well. Of all my moves and there has been plenty this one ran the smoothest. Meal time breaks were even just as smooth.
The morning did start with a panic attack and finding out I packed my meds. But...by the time my sis got there, I just grabbed her hand and she talked me through it. It was the last attack since that morning.
That first night I slept with a peace and comfort I had not felt in several months. Sunday morning I began the task of unpacking the boxes that would remain in the house, all else already in storage. By 4pm 80% if not more was completed. Another peaceful nights rest.
As I sit in the bus for that long ride I was told several years ago. 'Many people think they have many friends and great family. But...the reality is few have that. We have wanderers that slip into and out of our lives and if we're lucky there are a couple to a few that hang around.' That's a true statement.
I also remembered something else - through thick and thin, my sis and I stand together. That family friend stood tall beside us and the feeling of love was great.
That song plays in my head, Move Along. Appropriate to say the least.
November 19, 2010
Inspiration me...Greater picture
Keeping a word I made to myself recently has proved difficult. I vowed that for every rant I wrote or spoke, I would write or speak two inspirational writings and outweigh the negative.
Tonight...I get home at the latest hour yet, barely anytime for the last of the packing. In the morning I begin a new journey. Before a panic attack could sneak in, I just relax. I turn on the TV, no particular channel, mostly for company and noise.
After a while I realize that the 700 Club is on, I never watch it. Skeptical to say the least of their motives. Yet an interview was in play. Mathew West and his new CD (never heard of him).
He reached out to his fans and asked that they send him their stories. He had already cut an album that did well in and out of the Christian faith. An album of his trials and tribulations. His request he expected would send about a hundred or so of letters, so overwhelmed he rented a cabin and locked himself in with 10,000+ letters. The result..... his new album - The Story of Your Life.
He spoke of the overwhelming feelings while reading people's stories, 'the good, the bad and the ugly'.
He sang a song that just overwhelmed me. So beautiful, so powerful, so inspirational that I immediately googled the CD for purchase. The song? My own little world, population 1.
That song could not have been more appropriate for me to hear at that moment.
It's not my own little world and it sure isn't population 1 anymore. But most of all, he asked himself something in the lyrics? What I have I done for another lately.
Matthew West, I shall not forget that name. And I anxiously wait for the CD to hear how he took those stories and spun them into song.
A moment of time trapped in an interview from TV. Yes.....I live for the moments.
Tonight...I get home at the latest hour yet, barely anytime for the last of the packing. In the morning I begin a new journey. Before a panic attack could sneak in, I just relax. I turn on the TV, no particular channel, mostly for company and noise.
After a while I realize that the 700 Club is on, I never watch it. Skeptical to say the least of their motives. Yet an interview was in play. Mathew West and his new CD (never heard of him).
He reached out to his fans and asked that they send him their stories. He had already cut an album that did well in and out of the Christian faith. An album of his trials and tribulations. His request he expected would send about a hundred or so of letters, so overwhelmed he rented a cabin and locked himself in with 10,000+ letters. The result..... his new album - The Story of Your Life.
He spoke of the overwhelming feelings while reading people's stories, 'the good, the bad and the ugly'.
He sang a song that just overwhelmed me. So beautiful, so powerful, so inspirational that I immediately googled the CD for purchase. The song? My own little world, population 1.
That song could not have been more appropriate for me to hear at that moment.
It's not my own little world and it sure isn't population 1 anymore. But most of all, he asked himself something in the lyrics? What I have I done for another lately.
Matthew West, I shall not forget that name. And I anxiously wait for the CD to hear how he took those stories and spun them into song.
A moment of time trapped in an interview from TV. Yes.....I live for the moments.
November 18, 2010
Inspiration me...resurrection
In my culture we reach a certain age and are taught of a plant. We call it the Prosperity plant. The plant when dry balls up, when you water it, it will open up. The plant itself is a family of the cacti.
I have always had one or more since I was a teenager. The plant always fascinates me. When I forget all about the plant (since I store high and out of sight) at times I find that it is balled up and brittle and brown. I pour some water and it opens up as time goes by a light green can be seen.
At times I feel like this plant. Forgotten, dried out and balled up, huddled defensively. Alive yet you wouldn't know it by looking. Then moments happen.....
A moment of caring, happiness, hope, of planning, change, of feeling alive. Like water over me; I blossom for that moment/s. I open up, brighten up, stretch out and live. Soaking in those moments like water, hoping there will be no drought. Knowing there will be a drought.
Like that plant I resurrect. I long for the moment as it does for water and when denied........
Bring me the moments...
I have always had one or more since I was a teenager. The plant always fascinates me. When I forget all about the plant (since I store high and out of sight) at times I find that it is balled up and brittle and brown. I pour some water and it opens up as time goes by a light green can be seen.
At times I feel like this plant. Forgotten, dried out and balled up, huddled defensively. Alive yet you wouldn't know it by looking. Then moments happen.....
A moment of caring, happiness, hope, of planning, change, of feeling alive. Like water over me; I blossom for that moment/s. I open up, brighten up, stretch out and live. Soaking in those moments like water, hoping there will be no drought. Knowing there will be a drought.
Like that plant I resurrect. I long for the moment as it does for water and when denied........
Bring me the moments...
November 16, 2010
Inspiration me...Moving along
Moving...that word can bring many images and some scarey. That word has been in a sentence or a few each day for weeks now when I speak or write.
But what of moving along with situations?
I sat across someone that spoke with a silk tongue. Each word laced with a sacchrine sweetness. Before I sat across this person I had already moved along.
You see, I truly believe that there are some people in this world that are best avoided. The ones that suck the life out of you. The ones that speak in circles. The ones that set traps for no reason other than personal enjoyment.
This person was all of the above. What I have learned in my life thus far is that Karma is real and it bites you in the bum when you least expect it. Knowing that I sat with the frame of mind that I can not change a person let alone their thoughts. That nothing would be resolved. That I will never get those minutes of my life back wasted listening to empty words.
Gloria Steinem said it best 'There are many people trying to meet the right person than become the right person.'
So when I move along from a person, I let them speak their empty words and hold on to none. I shrug for I know that there are bigger issues to resolve. I remember that those people remind me what and how not to be.
I think of a past lover that used to tell me 'Si no tiene nada bueno que dicir.....pues no diga nada' You have nothing good to say....than say nothing. It is with these people that learn to say nothing.
Inspiration me? I inspire me - I inspire you to move along. Life is too short to waste on those that are stuck in time. Life has too many wonders left to show to allow anyone to take that joy away.
I am inspired to move along........
But what of moving along with situations?
I sat across someone that spoke with a silk tongue. Each word laced with a sacchrine sweetness. Before I sat across this person I had already moved along.
You see, I truly believe that there are some people in this world that are best avoided. The ones that suck the life out of you. The ones that speak in circles. The ones that set traps for no reason other than personal enjoyment.
This person was all of the above. What I have learned in my life thus far is that Karma is real and it bites you in the bum when you least expect it. Knowing that I sat with the frame of mind that I can not change a person let alone their thoughts. That nothing would be resolved. That I will never get those minutes of my life back wasted listening to empty words.
Gloria Steinem said it best 'There are many people trying to meet the right person than become the right person.'
So when I move along from a person, I let them speak their empty words and hold on to none. I shrug for I know that there are bigger issues to resolve. I remember that those people remind me what and how not to be.
I think of a past lover that used to tell me 'Si no tiene nada bueno que dicir.....pues no diga nada' You have nothing good to say....than say nothing. It is with these people that learn to say nothing.
Inspiration me? I inspire me - I inspire you to move along. Life is too short to waste on those that are stuck in time. Life has too many wonders left to show to allow anyone to take that joy away.
I am inspired to move along........
November 15, 2010
AndMore...Beauty school drop out
Ever had one of those days that you knew would lead you to one of those moments? The moment where you will either go over the edge completely and open a can of WHOOP ASS or where you will for some dumb reason laugh maniacally about something that no one else sees, hears or understands?
I get to the train station only to find out that I left my phone at work. I get to the bus station and there are no buses but a lot of people.
Route 3 as usual is backed up, it's now 8pm and my nerves are shot. I'm tired, I don't feel well and I will get home too late and too tired to finish packing.
I remember that the filter in my water pitcher is long overdue so I stop at the town Walgreen. There is a woman that is walking down the aisle where the filters are shelved. She is on the phone and has a carriage plus a purse that Samsonite would envy.
She is at a crawling pace and talking about her daughter 'the good for nothing'. I finally get to the mid aisle and grab the filter. I go to the ONLY cashier that is open and there are 7 people on line. Other clerks are roaming about oblivious to the cashier that is paging them to open other registers. I begin to count.
As I count I stare at the cashier and am mesmerized. What a butt ugly female. Her hair is so greasy it is plastered to her head, the bangs clumped together. She has one brow and it is the hairiest I have ever seen. She has a slight shadow of a mustache and chapped lips. No makeup and shallow eyes that scream 'I haven't slept since birth'. I used to sell MaryKay and I took classes on cosmetology so I would know what the heck I was doing when selling the products. I kept thinking, if I could I would......
Throw her into a tub with antibacterial and hire someone to bathe her. I would have them use a rake on her hair to get those clumps of dirt out. I would then take a lawn mower and divide that brow, hire the best waxer and have them torment her until there was a shape. Then I would apply some makeup on her face and shalaque it so it is permanent. Why someone would be so negligent with themselves is beyond me.
By the time I had completed that visual I was the next person to reach her. I thought to myself that I was mean, how could I think all those things about someone I did not know. The person ahead of me takes out a rubber banded stack of coupons. ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?????
It takes forever and I lost count. I start to think that maybe I would just lie to the cashier and tell her she won a trip to the zoo and drop her off the nearest MaryKay seminar. Those things are a whack, but you leave fully made over.
I am next and I look at her pin to see her name and I lost it. Completely LOST IT. I am laughing so hard that tears roll down both cheeks, my legs are in a pretzel twist and I am really close to the age old Pee Pee dance. The people behind me are either smiling, grinning or considering dialing for help. I laugh so much that I took the filter and stepped off the line.
After a long period and a few customers I get back on the line and the cashier is smiling. 'What is so funny?' I lose it again. I leave the filter and walk out.
An elderly woman was waiting outside that had left earlier, she asked 'Are you alright?' So I tell her about my day, than of my thoughts, she interrupted 'that's not a nice thing to think of someone.'
I asked that hag 'Did you look at her name tag?' She said 'As a matter of fact I did, her name is XYZ, a very nice young lady.'
I said 'Below her name, it says Beauty Advisor.'
It took a few minutes, but the hag just busted a gut. As I drove off, I looked in the rear view mirror to see that the hag was still by the door laughing and unless I was imagining, I would swear she was doing the Pee Pee dance.
I get to the train station only to find out that I left my phone at work. I get to the bus station and there are no buses but a lot of people.
Route 3 as usual is backed up, it's now 8pm and my nerves are shot. I'm tired, I don't feel well and I will get home too late and too tired to finish packing.
I remember that the filter in my water pitcher is long overdue so I stop at the town Walgreen. There is a woman that is walking down the aisle where the filters are shelved. She is on the phone and has a carriage plus a purse that Samsonite would envy.
She is at a crawling pace and talking about her daughter 'the good for nothing'. I finally get to the mid aisle and grab the filter. I go to the ONLY cashier that is open and there are 7 people on line. Other clerks are roaming about oblivious to the cashier that is paging them to open other registers. I begin to count.
As I count I stare at the cashier and am mesmerized. What a butt ugly female. Her hair is so greasy it is plastered to her head, the bangs clumped together. She has one brow and it is the hairiest I have ever seen. She has a slight shadow of a mustache and chapped lips. No makeup and shallow eyes that scream 'I haven't slept since birth'. I used to sell MaryKay and I took classes on cosmetology so I would know what the heck I was doing when selling the products. I kept thinking, if I could I would......
Throw her into a tub with antibacterial and hire someone to bathe her. I would have them use a rake on her hair to get those clumps of dirt out. I would then take a lawn mower and divide that brow, hire the best waxer and have them torment her until there was a shape. Then I would apply some makeup on her face and shalaque it so it is permanent. Why someone would be so negligent with themselves is beyond me.
By the time I had completed that visual I was the next person to reach her. I thought to myself that I was mean, how could I think all those things about someone I did not know. The person ahead of me takes out a rubber banded stack of coupons. ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?????
It takes forever and I lost count. I start to think that maybe I would just lie to the cashier and tell her she won a trip to the zoo and drop her off the nearest MaryKay seminar. Those things are a whack, but you leave fully made over.
I am next and I look at her pin to see her name and I lost it. Completely LOST IT. I am laughing so hard that tears roll down both cheeks, my legs are in a pretzel twist and I am really close to the age old Pee Pee dance. The people behind me are either smiling, grinning or considering dialing for help. I laugh so much that I took the filter and stepped off the line.
After a long period and a few customers I get back on the line and the cashier is smiling. 'What is so funny?' I lose it again. I leave the filter and walk out.
An elderly woman was waiting outside that had left earlier, she asked 'Are you alright?' So I tell her about my day, than of my thoughts, she interrupted 'that's not a nice thing to think of someone.'
I asked that hag 'Did you look at her name tag?' She said 'As a matter of fact I did, her name is XYZ, a very nice young lady.'
I said 'Below her name, it says Beauty Advisor.'
It took a few minutes, but the hag just busted a gut. As I drove off, I looked in the rear view mirror to see that the hag was still by the door laughing and unless I was imagining, I would swear she was doing the Pee Pee dance.
AndMore...That steak screamed
A while ago I wrote about finding a restaurant where I could go and have a nice steak dinner. I occasionally go carrying a good book and some me time.
This weekend a family friend and her mother came over to help me pack. I wanted to treat them to dinner as a thank you. And of course the fact that I was salivating for that petite sirloin had a pinch to do with it also.
Throughout the packing I kept bragging about the steak, the service and anything else that consisted of that restaurant.
We finished (for the most part) the packing. Now the 'mom' was in the hospital for a few days and this was her first 'outting' since then. I didn't care! I wanted that damn steak and if she can go to my place and 'supervise' us packing she can extend herself to going to a restaurant. (Avoiding the tired look in her eyes was easier then I thought).
Her daughter apparently cared less than I did. (And people thought there was only one of me out there).
We get to the mall where the restaurant is nestled at a corner of the food court. To save on trying to figure out who is who, let's call her Mom......oh I don't know......Mom! And her daughter.......the daughter. I will continue to be................me.
Mom is claustrophobic (I can relate), so when we walk into the restaurant and realize there is a wait, she is fussing about. I find a spot where there is space to my left and right (she is basically on her own). The daughter pretty much couldn't care less if Mom and I had an epileptic attack, she found herself a corner and was happy with it. Hate non claustrophobic people!
As we wait, I notice that the section I normally sit at and where the two weekend waiters that are worth their salt work in, was busy and those FUCKERS didn't look like they were leaving any time soon.
It really wasn't all that long a wait, or perhaps the fat fuck guy that kept staring at my tits while ignoring his whiny wife distracted me from the time.
A very young walker (They are called hosts, but this BYTCH was anything but), came by and said 'FOLLOW ME'. Well if I had a battery up my ass or a skate board I might have been able to. She all but did an Olympic run to the table. She planted menus and left, straight to the waiting ears of a waiter (now I admit he was looker).
Orders: A Phantom waitress comes over with pen and notebook in hand and we order: Fire wings to share, I get wine, the daughter ETERNAL WUSS gets water and her mother gets.................Oh Fuck what did she get?......a glass of something.
20 minutes later our drinks arrive, I ask the 'phanton' if the appetizer was ordered she said yes. I was already peeved that she did not bring the customary bread (a well seasoned biscuit that comes close to the Red Lobster one, they advertise all you can eat, but in reality they bring one for each customer), this BYTCH brought none. But these are family friends and I don't want them to see that 'other' Gracey.
Meal order: Me - Petite Sirloin, medium well, grilled asparagus, white cheddar mashed potatoes. The daughter ordered the same only she wanted her animal dead and re killed (well done), Mom ordered a pasta dish.
The wings come out. We have no utensils and not enough plates to go around (WTF????), I ask for utensils and napkins. The 'phantom' who is not the disappears after we placed the meal order (probably getting laid because the looker was missing also), we inherited a new waiter that fumbled about. He says his scripted apologies and runs off SUPPOSING LY to get the utensils and napkins. He also disappeared into the abyss.
The fury begins: I used a napkin instead of a plate to eat now cold wings. Food arrived and both steaks gave a scream when poked. The blood flowed to the mashed potatoes turning them into a Hello Kitty pink.
The Phantom was no where to be found. My caution for the other two were unfounded. The daughter began a rant on the Manager like a terrier on an ass. I cut in because my OCD does not allow a complaint to be said without structure.
Complaint:
The Phantom waitress barely showed herself, no utensils, the steaks were MOOOOOING, no plates. The daughter had a back up chorus going on 'Service sucks'.
End result: I didn't have to pay for the 5 ounces of wine I drank, the cold wings or Mom's dinner (which was pretty good).
End result: Mom was terrified after seeing us foaming at the mouth.
End result: We got gift certificates for another trip.
End result: All that salivating and I ended up with a Subway tuna sandwich.
End result: Customer Service in this world SUCKS!
End result: The daughter is crazier than I am.
Final End result: Cooks should be just that COOKS, as I stated in my letter to the Corporate office. Waitresses should be just that waitresses, also in the letter. Animals should be dead long before landing on the plate, yep, on the letter too.
With the way I suffer for food it amazes me I have the size ass I do!
This weekend a family friend and her mother came over to help me pack. I wanted to treat them to dinner as a thank you. And of course the fact that I was salivating for that petite sirloin had a pinch to do with it also.
Throughout the packing I kept bragging about the steak, the service and anything else that consisted of that restaurant.
We finished (for the most part) the packing. Now the 'mom' was in the hospital for a few days and this was her first 'outting' since then. I didn't care! I wanted that damn steak and if she can go to my place and 'supervise' us packing she can extend herself to going to a restaurant. (Avoiding the tired look in her eyes was easier then I thought).
Her daughter apparently cared less than I did. (And people thought there was only one of me out there).
We get to the mall where the restaurant is nestled at a corner of the food court. To save on trying to figure out who is who, let's call her Mom......oh I don't know......Mom! And her daughter.......the daughter. I will continue to be................me.
Mom is claustrophobic (I can relate), so when we walk into the restaurant and realize there is a wait, she is fussing about. I find a spot where there is space to my left and right (she is basically on her own). The daughter pretty much couldn't care less if Mom and I had an epileptic attack, she found herself a corner and was happy with it. Hate non claustrophobic people!
As we wait, I notice that the section I normally sit at and where the two weekend waiters that are worth their salt work in, was busy and those FUCKERS didn't look like they were leaving any time soon.
It really wasn't all that long a wait, or perhaps the fat fuck guy that kept staring at my tits while ignoring his whiny wife distracted me from the time.
A very young walker (They are called hosts, but this BYTCH was anything but), came by and said 'FOLLOW ME'. Well if I had a battery up my ass or a skate board I might have been able to. She all but did an Olympic run to the table. She planted menus and left, straight to the waiting ears of a waiter (now I admit he was looker).
Orders: A Phantom waitress comes over with pen and notebook in hand and we order: Fire wings to share, I get wine, the daughter ETERNAL WUSS gets water and her mother gets.................Oh Fuck what did she get?......a glass of something.
20 minutes later our drinks arrive, I ask the 'phanton' if the appetizer was ordered she said yes. I was already peeved that she did not bring the customary bread (a well seasoned biscuit that comes close to the Red Lobster one, they advertise all you can eat, but in reality they bring one for each customer), this BYTCH brought none. But these are family friends and I don't want them to see that 'other' Gracey.
Meal order: Me - Petite Sirloin, medium well, grilled asparagus, white cheddar mashed potatoes. The daughter ordered the same only she wanted her animal dead and re killed (well done), Mom ordered a pasta dish.
The wings come out. We have no utensils and not enough plates to go around (WTF????), I ask for utensils and napkins. The 'phantom' who is not the disappears after we placed the meal order (probably getting laid because the looker was missing also), we inherited a new waiter that fumbled about. He says his scripted apologies and runs off SUPPOSING LY to get the utensils and napkins. He also disappeared into the abyss.
The fury begins: I used a napkin instead of a plate to eat now cold wings. Food arrived and both steaks gave a scream when poked. The blood flowed to the mashed potatoes turning them into a Hello Kitty pink.
The Phantom was no where to be found. My caution for the other two were unfounded. The daughter began a rant on the Manager like a terrier on an ass. I cut in because my OCD does not allow a complaint to be said without structure.
Complaint:
The Phantom waitress barely showed herself, no utensils, the steaks were MOOOOOING, no plates. The daughter had a back up chorus going on 'Service sucks'.
End result: I didn't have to pay for the 5 ounces of wine I drank, the cold wings or Mom's dinner (which was pretty good).
End result: Mom was terrified after seeing us foaming at the mouth.
End result: We got gift certificates for another trip.
End result: All that salivating and I ended up with a Subway tuna sandwich.
End result: Customer Service in this world SUCKS!
End result: The daughter is crazier than I am.
Final End result: Cooks should be just that COOKS, as I stated in my letter to the Corporate office. Waitresses should be just that waitresses, also in the letter. Animals should be dead long before landing on the plate, yep, on the letter too.
With the way I suffer for food it amazes me I have the size ass I do!
November 13, 2010
Inspiration me....panic
I developed panic attacks a couple of years ago, when I lived with a psycho and worked for another one. At first I thought I was having a heart attack, then I hoped I was having a heart attack.
The pain unbearable. The hyper breathing adding to it. The cold sweats and the sheer panic....horrible.
For the past several months I had not had them until one night a brick fell on my reality. Then more bricks on other realities. The insomnia I had not felt crept back with a vengeance.
As I pack to move feeling that familiar feeling of not knowing a home. Of not knowing where I belong. I felt the cold sweat, the heavy breathing, the pain. I stop packing and I sit. This is one of those times where I would write to my friend, write out the pain, the fears, the insecurities. But I can't, not anymore. So....the pain increases, the breathing more labored and I then hold onto to my chest.
Then I just cry and as fast as I start...I stop. There is no time for tears. I take deep breaths over and over. I chant my mantra. I pray for God to give me strength.
Inspire me...someone...anyone....then I hear my father's voice. I miss that man so much. "Kiddo, you're stronger then you think."
He had such belief in me like no other. I grabbed the first book I saw that wasn't packed. Good ole Jessica Shepherd.
'As you are generous with your truth, the truth will be generous with you.' Yes...the truth is, I am stronger then I believe.
I breathe easier. I feel less pain. The room no longer spins. 'Thanks Dad.'
I wait for the family friend that will arrive to help with the last of the packing and I am grateful that panic attack is passing. I am grateful for more than that.
The pain unbearable. The hyper breathing adding to it. The cold sweats and the sheer panic....horrible.
For the past several months I had not had them until one night a brick fell on my reality. Then more bricks on other realities. The insomnia I had not felt crept back with a vengeance.
As I pack to move feeling that familiar feeling of not knowing a home. Of not knowing where I belong. I felt the cold sweat, the heavy breathing, the pain. I stop packing and I sit. This is one of those times where I would write to my friend, write out the pain, the fears, the insecurities. But I can't, not anymore. So....the pain increases, the breathing more labored and I then hold onto to my chest.
Then I just cry and as fast as I start...I stop. There is no time for tears. I take deep breaths over and over. I chant my mantra. I pray for God to give me strength.
Inspire me...someone...anyone....then I hear my father's voice. I miss that man so much. "Kiddo, you're stronger then you think."
He had such belief in me like no other. I grabbed the first book I saw that wasn't packed. Good ole Jessica Shepherd.
'As you are generous with your truth, the truth will be generous with you.' Yes...the truth is, I am stronger then I believe.
I breathe easier. I feel less pain. The room no longer spins. 'Thanks Dad.'
I wait for the family friend that will arrive to help with the last of the packing and I am grateful that panic attack is passing. I am grateful for more than that.
November 11, 2010
Inspiration me.....Veterans Day
To all Veterans....I appreciate you!
I also appreciate that you remind me of some things.......like........
No matter how bad I may think a job, boss, commute or co-workers in my lifetime - it would be nothing in comparison to your job.
On the worst day our boss doesn't send us to the front line.
On our worst day we can quit and not face court martial.
When we bid goodnight to one another it is not with the fear that it may be our last farewell.
On the worst traffic day we still don't have to worry about mine fields.
We can say no to our boss and the worst may be insubordination - not lock up.
Our storms are rain, hail and snow......not bullets and missiles.
Getting along with one another is a choice not a life and death necessity.
I have no issue with putting foot to ass for my country, but the most fighting I have to do is in explaining some of my actions and words. Not a daily war in a distant land under command.
We always know why we are told to do something, are at least in my job prepared for the consequences which are not fatal, our religious belief intact, our morals intact and with no call to harm another.
We willingly enter employment and leave. You willingly enter and must stay your term.
I appreciate you. For defending our country - our lives, whether you are given the reason or not. I appreciate your fallen co-workers, the bosses that must live with their commands. I appreciate each and every Veteran and active man and woman each and every day I have the liberty to work the way I do.
2010©Gracey Castro
I also appreciate that you remind me of some things.......like........
No matter how bad I may think a job, boss, commute or co-workers in my lifetime - it would be nothing in comparison to your job.
On the worst day our boss doesn't send us to the front line.
On our worst day we can quit and not face court martial.
When we bid goodnight to one another it is not with the fear that it may be our last farewell.
On the worst traffic day we still don't have to worry about mine fields.
We can say no to our boss and the worst may be insubordination - not lock up.
Our storms are rain, hail and snow......not bullets and missiles.
Getting along with one another is a choice not a life and death necessity.
I have no issue with putting foot to ass for my country, but the most fighting I have to do is in explaining some of my actions and words. Not a daily war in a distant land under command.
We always know why we are told to do something, are at least in my job prepared for the consequences which are not fatal, our religious belief intact, our morals intact and with no call to harm another.
We willingly enter employment and leave. You willingly enter and must stay your term.
I appreciate you. For defending our country - our lives, whether you are given the reason or not. I appreciate your fallen co-workers, the bosses that must live with their commands. I appreciate each and every Veteran and active man and woman each and every day I have the liberty to work the way I do.
2010©Gracey Castro
November 10, 2010
Inspiration me....being positive
Since my house burned down I now have a better view of the rising sun. ~Mather Fox
How positive is that? VERY! If you're sadistic enough it even has a hint of humor.
How positive can one be when........
More and more people you know are still losing jobs
You watch or hear of poor treatment
You struggle to make ends meet
You struggle to get from one point to another
More and more people are meaner and selfish
Well.....When you start to get more and more panic attacks because you are losing time and can't pack quick enough. A knock on the door and a friend is there, boxes in hand, tape too and an entire Saturday is spent packing.
Well.....You need something critically and a friend hands you what you need to get it. In more ways then one you are saved.
Well....One door broken as it is closes and someone opens another wide. Makes room for you and allows you to get back on your feet.
Well....You learn to accept that not all will listen and watch less of their poor treatment. Pray that either they will grow strong or the predator weaker.
Well....You purchase an MP3 player and load some of your favorite songs and just sit out the commute accepting that which you can not control.
Well...You push out the ones that are mean and selfish and allow in those that aren't or at the very least balance it out.
I wouldn't want to wait until a home was burned to see the rising sun. I would want to build a lovely spot on the roof to sit and watch it (with strong sprinklers around the house).
How positive is that? VERY! If you're sadistic enough it even has a hint of humor.
How positive can one be when........
More and more people you know are still losing jobs
You watch or hear of poor treatment
You struggle to make ends meet
You struggle to get from one point to another
More and more people are meaner and selfish
Well.....When you start to get more and more panic attacks because you are losing time and can't pack quick enough. A knock on the door and a friend is there, boxes in hand, tape too and an entire Saturday is spent packing.
Well.....You need something critically and a friend hands you what you need to get it. In more ways then one you are saved.
Well....One door broken as it is closes and someone opens another wide. Makes room for you and allows you to get back on your feet.
Well....You learn to accept that not all will listen and watch less of their poor treatment. Pray that either they will grow strong or the predator weaker.
Well....You purchase an MP3 player and load some of your favorite songs and just sit out the commute accepting that which you can not control.
Well...You push out the ones that are mean and selfish and allow in those that aren't or at the very least balance it out.
I wouldn't want to wait until a home was burned to see the rising sun. I would want to build a lovely spot on the roof to sit and watch it (with strong sprinklers around the house).
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