AndMore...Pipe Down, D cup, The Damn Russian Oh my

Pipe down - for those of you that follow me on FB, you know I have an issue with this.  I mean, every time someone says that it makes no sense.  Just say - SHUT UP!


But this time, I say it in the literal sense.  Let's begin with the alarm this morning.

It went off... damn thing!  I got up and shortly realized the faucets were not working. I grabbed the last bottle of water to brush my teeth.  I attempted the water again and it worked.  I looked in the mirror and decided I have been feeling quite low as of late.  A quick 5 minute facial mask is in order.  I found an avocado mask tube that I had not used yet.

Avocado THIS!
At work a co-worker and I have been having a debate, which is better California or Florida avocado.  I say it's a preference, I like the taste of the larger, prettier avocado.  He is the Haas fan and wants to impose that on everyone.


I layered the mask on - THICK.  I walked to the kitchen (short walk from bathroom) and began to make coffee............no water.  I tried the bathroom faucet...no water.  I tried to shower.....no water. I waited and tried every 5 minutes.  I would be late for work so I just text the landlord.  -No water-need water-fix pipe-late 4 work-NO WATER!


I thought I had some time before he showed up, he is NEVER in the building.  But a few seconds later there was a knock on the door.  I ran to the bedroom without turning on the light and grabbed the first thing I felt in the tote that holds all that is house and sleep wear.  I put on the robe and ran down the stairs.  I opened the door.............................................waited..................................he was still laughing.

His view
I could find a headband so I used a fabric belt from one of the house sweaters.  The long remaining fabric hanging and swinging about my thighs.
The robe I selected was a bright orange with green pacifiers, a sick gift that I actually wear when I know (?) no one will see.
Flip flops


I couldn't stand the obvious hilarity he was having at my expense.  'JUST FIX IT'.  We went upstairs.  He went straight to the bathroom.  Now, I live in an attic apartment, 1 bedroom, it is tiny, the bathroom is a work of art on how they got it in there.  So I have to put my towel, clothes or what have you on the toilet or sink.  I put the clothes I was to wear when I took a shower on the toilet seat cover.  He picked it up to hand it to me when the towel toppled over and there spilled the towel and my bra.  The darn thing just popped right up as if screaming 'THAT'S RIGHT BABY D-CUP'.


I snatched the clothes turned without looking at him and sat on the sofa........ wishing instant death would take me.

Let me tell you something about face mask, it was not created to remain on the face long.  It actually hurts.  I couldn't smile without my cheeks and chin hurting, my neck felt as though something was slowly strangling me.


I went to check up on him and he turned and.........................wait for it...............................you ready................................LAUGHED.
 

I went back to the living room, mentally cursing him and my life as much as possible.


I heard his voice and realized he was talking to someone in his language while laughing through the words.  He was on the cell.  Word was getting out.

It took about an hour and a half before it was fixed.  His cheesy grin in place, he said (I guess he said since I barely understand him), 'it's fixed'.


I walked him out, even though he is very tall, I was able to make his shoulders shaking from laughter from behind.  I had to fight the urge to push him down the stairs.  At the bottom he turned.....cheesy grin in place, I just shut the door on it.  Damn Russian!

For years people have been saying....things will get better.  I have something very important to say to all those people.


SHUT UP!

AndMore...Xanax me and my Dante's Inferno life

Midweek should be a victory feeling day.  You have survived half the work week.  But this is me we're talking about.


How do I feel?
I slept very little, no A/C at work gave me a fierce migraine which in turn made me nauseous.  I got up after feeling like the few hours I did sleep.  There was some trash to throw so I thought I would take it with me, run to the back of the house, dump it and run to the train station across the street.  I had 5 minutes before the train would arrive.


What the F was in that bin?
The landlord has built a wooden encasement for the trash cans.  Each bin having it's own lid.  Recycling is made easy with several bins.  I run down the stairs and to the back.  Two small garbage bags in one hand, a purse and my lunch bag in the other.  I had one finger extended to lift the bin and once I did a long pink tail poked out.  Wiggled slightly and made me SCREECH!  I let  go of the bin handle and heard some serious rambling going on in the wooden encasement, sure that the creature was hopping from can to can.  I THREW the small garbage bags, turned to run.  While running toward the station I got my cell phone out and managed to text my landlord. 'I left some trash bags on the bins. Large animal inside bins. Don't know what kind of animal. GOOD LUCK!


Go toe yourself
I got to the train just in time.  They never wait, as soon as all the people on the platform enter the doors close.  I amaze myself at the speed I ran and at the accuracy of my text spelling while running.

I sat trying to catch my breath, fighting the nauseousness that was still lingering from the day before, hoping the A/C at work would be fixed.  As I took in deep breaths I felt as though I were breathing in alcohol.  I looked to my right and had to blink hard.  Surely I am finally going over the deep end.  Right there across from me in the train car was a woman in clothes one would wear to a club.  She looked to be in her 30s and trying to hang on to her 20s.  The shimmering clothes were making me dizzy.  What really floored me was what she was doing.  She was painting her toe nails with sparkly black nail polish.  One foot on the seats across from her, just stroking the brush as if she were in her own living room.  For a second I truly thought she was that Housewives of NJ, the one that sold a cook book and over turned a table in a fit of rage..

The train stopped and some people came on board.  A woman sat directly across from me, she began to sniff the air like a well trained dog.  'Oh HELL no' is all I heard.  At that point the conductor came into the car to collect tickets, she too sniff loudly.  Found the culprit and the DRAMA began.... although told to stop, she insisted she only had one more foot to go and only 4 toes since she did 'the big one'.  While arguing she completed her task and finally put the offending polish away.


Hair! this is for you
For the rest of the train ride she spent her time twee-zing her brows.  Occasionally blowing the plucked eyebrow hairs toward the middle (aisle).


Great balls of fire
I got to work and what do you know the A/C is still broken.  It was cooler outside.  So.....I have a migraine, I'm nauseous, I'm still wondering if the Possum was in the bins and I'm melting.


Summary
Dante was psychic and when he wrote Dante's Inferno he was having visions of my life.

My little review...Daywalkers by Erica Lucke Dean

Vampires have a different way about them in this online weekly series.  A great idea by the author to write out her story about Daywalkers... weekly and with bonus teasers here and there.

Daywalker is in it's 2nd season and you can catch up online by reading season one.  Victoria is refreshing and one can't help but love Claude and Sebastian (hard to pick which).

The story begins with one question...how does he walk in the day with the sun blaring out?  A secret Sebastian has the answer to, a daywalker you just love to hate.

To answer this question you are taken to the past while reveling the present.

This story has wit, rib hurting humor, sex appeal, blood thirsting needs and the quest to find out how a vampire can walk about during the day without meeting death.

Don't have time to get to the bookstore?  In the rut for a quick read that keeps you going?  Looking for a different vampire spin?  Then check out this site!

This is where http://ericaluckedean.com/daywalker-chronicles/

About the author http://ericaluckedean.com/meet-the-author/

Take a peek at her blog...she's a pip http://ericaluckedean.com/

Bikini wax disaster will always be my favorite.

Get your read on and get it with Daywalker Chronicles!

My little Review...Discreet Activities by Claude Bouchard

This author is a constant five star writer.  His Barry/McCall series is 6 installments in with Discreet Activities as the latest.  If you haven't started this series you are missing out.

Action wrapped plots that just pull you in.  Discreet Activities takes you into the minds of terrorists as well as the people determined to stop them.

Barry has grown comfortably into Discreet Activities group which secretly go where police and government agencies can't.

McCall has done some inner growth as well, accepting the limitations of the police and how Barry and his group can help.

Will they find out what the plot is and where it will take place?  Will they find out in time?  

This book engages in real world type events, emotions and a touch of....Oh, if only we could just do it this way and damn the consequence.

Good luck putting this book down and beware of falling into it's world.  

If you want to bond with characters whether they are good or not so good, take a fast pace to reading, wonder what will happen with every page and just be wonderfully satisfied with the outcome.....then get your read on and get it with Discreet Activities.

This book does not disappoint.

Get the book and this is how http://www.amazon.com/Discreet-Activities-McCall-Series-ebook/dp/B0073KAZAU/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1338304119&sr=1-1

About the author http://claudebouchardbooks.com/

Check out the trailers for the first 5 books here http://www.claudebouchardbooks.com/trailers.htm

Enter and win

http://www.rachaelwade.com/?page_id=2055

Preservation Launch Party - check out her site and sign up to win.

AndMore... Commuting is WAR!

Come along with me, let's walk and begin the 'Commute'.


First you must prepare for battle.  Mentally put on your shield, your helmet and make sure your sword is not dull.  Stand tall and hold your head up smiling will get you killed.


The walk to the first train is a short one, thanks to my new abode.  The wait however can be short or quite long depending on how well the NJT lights are working that particular day.  This is the only train you will find a seat on, take one quickly and don't look at anyone, this train harbors the mean spirited, you will see most of them at the end of the day when we return.  They will be meaner.


Five stops later and a packed train gets us to Secaucus which is a maze of humans shuffling along.  Zombies look livelier.  The departure/arrival signs are old, the machines that collect payment and ticket are new.  The workers stand in the way, no one knows why.  Just follow the mass, they are all going to NY.  Always follow the mass.  Go up two flights, turn a couple of times, don't slow down you will be stampeded.  Go down two flights and stand in the middle of the platform.  You will not know until the last minute whether the train will arrive on the left or the right.  You WILL not get a seat, don't even try, your goal is to get ON that train.


When the train arrives don't worry if you don't know where to go, it doesn't matter.  The MASS push you along, you are squeezed within strangers whether you want to or not.  A husband wishes they could get that close to you at least once a week.  Don't stand still in the train, find a spot.  One against a wall or lean in a corner.  DO NOT STAND IN THE MIDDLE.  The perverts and the angry ones are always there, touching as if by accident....it's not accident.  There will be shoving as if by a force unseen. Keep your head down, don't look at anyone.  It will just start a feud.  Just rest while standing our trip is nearly half over.


When the train arrives NY PENN Station don't look left or right, just aim your eyes on the train door.  No need to concentrate on where you are going, the herd will shove and trap you to the one direction...the escalator.  If you are lucky it will go quickly with minimal body damage.  Now brace yourself, we will have to go up another flight of stairs and walk a long corridor with hundreds of people.  The main exit is another flight, take them quickly or you'll be trampled.  Once at the top move quickly to the left and from there it is two blocks to the subway.  When we cross the street just hurry and yes...people will intentionally aim for you from the opposite direction.  Just push through.


There!  You see, we made it to the subway.  Don't give the peddlers money or you'll go broke in a couple of days.  All kinds are in there from the mother with the baby asking for milk money, the man with expensive jeans and sneakers saying he has been out of work for a year (he's been saying it for 3years) to the singers and dancers putting on a 10 second show.  Just look down.  Try to get a seat but don't bank on one.  It doesn't matter if you're in front of the train door, once it opens people will push you out of their way.  Everyone thinks the same.  I MUST GET A SEAT.  Especially those on the train for one stop, those are the worst, they will literally shove you over.  It's five stops to our exit, just look down and don't use any electronics.  I have seen someone punched in the face for their device.


Here we are!  Now we only have to walk 10 blocks to reach work.  The upper east side is another world.  Crossing the street here is like the Spartans at the start of battle.  You must reach the corner through dog walkers, nannies and other people getting to work.  Just look ahead and aim for speed.  Once at the corner there will be a stare down.  Those on the other side are warning you with looks that they intend to trample you, you must stare back viciously, if you are lucky they fear you more then you fear them and once in the middle of the street they will move out of the way.  You won't be able to walk around as it will be like a wall of people.  GOOD LUCK!


WAIT! There is a particular corner where a female cop directs traffic.  Watch her closely as she only cares about the cars, there have been many near misses with people crossing while paying attention only to the light.  Watch her as well.

LOOK!  We are almost there!  The gates to the campus!


Well?  I hope you fared well.  Now let's sit at our desk and take deep breathes to calm ourselves, our day has only just begun.  Happy 9AM, we get to do that commute all over again at 5 and the people are tired and even meaner.

Thanks for sharing that commute with me.  How did you like it?

AndMore...Officer... NJ... the thievery and lies... Oh Why?

I grew up in New Jersey, I have moved to a few states but always found my way back.  Much of the charm long gone I have come to realize this is not the state to retire in.  Not the state to afford insurance.  Not the state for fair treatment of people.

My darling niece came to visit with me and stayed a few days.  The time together was both special and refreshing.  On a Saturday night I drove her home.  Since we planned a few things for the day it would be late when we headed to South Jersey.  She lives about 2 hours away.  My poor knees can't handle long drives anymore, so a Saturday night would be just right to take it slow.

We got to her town in good time although the hour was late in the night, 10:30.  As soon as I got off the exit I noticed two things.

1.  There was no one on the road (Rte 9)
2.  There was however a cop in his car parked in the Supermarket lot across from the highway

I made the right out of the exit and went straight on Rte 9 for about 1/2 mile, the required left turn was coming up.  The cop was now coming along my right and passing me.  At the light is a lane just for left turns, then 3 more lanes to the right of it.  He was two lanes from me.  At the green light I made the turn.  Not too long after I saw the cop behind me and with the light on, considering no one else was on the road I could only guess it was for me.  I pulled over.  A young stiff cop approached, highly upset that I 'almost hit his car and only missed it by an inch'.  He repeated this several times.  I could only stare in shock at the blatant lie.  He asked 'didn't you realize'.........This is it.......the moment.....when you could ignite the situation further and contradict a cop clearly looking for a fight or just swallow your pride.  I swallowed until I choked.

The lie
Long story short, he asked for my paperwork, while reaching across to the glove compartment I kept a vigilant silent prayer 'please don't let him be a crazy cop looking for trouble.'  My niece said 'you didn't do that'.  I told her to be quiet.  In my nervousness I dropped some papers.  I had my license, registration but the insurance card was expired.  I knew that just days before I had put the new card in the compartment.  But I could not find it.  He took what I had in my hands and stormed off to his car.

My niece asked 'why don't you tell him he is lieing'.  I answered 'because he has a gun and an attitude, that's  a bad mix.'

I'm not one to use a race card, actually I detest that it gets thrown around a lot but the reality is there is racism.  It exists and sometimes it wears a uniform.

The second lie
'I'm going to let you go on careless driving and not give you a ticket.  I am giving you one for not having the right insurance card.  You can either go to court and fight it, which means coming back here and paying the ticket plus traveling cost or just go online and pay the $30 ticket fee.'  He smiled.

I thought 'he accuses me of almost hitting me but gives me a ticket for the card......whatever' at this point I just want to get my niece home and leave the South.

Lost faith
Turns out the ticket can not be paid online.  It is a mandatory court appearance, a $187 ticket plus court fees.  Miserable, lying cop!

Court
$11.25 in tolls and $30 in gas later....
You and any bag you carry are searched then ushered into a tiny court room that looks like it's falling apart.  The prosecutor aside from the search happy cops are the only ones in there.  A line is formed where everyone is given a choice by the prosecutor.  Your choices are the full payment of the ticket or a reduction plus court fees, you are encouraged in a round about way to take the guilty plea or you would have to return after pleading Not Guilty.  Most optioned Guilty.

The sad truth
The fees are a scam.  People with accidents paid less then me.
The process is the same as an assembly line at a factory.
That court must have met their monthly quota in that morning.
You just take the easy way once you realize even to fight for your right means traveling back and forth, paying an attorney and still hoping the Judge is in a good mood.
Court completely depends on a Judge's mood.

Conclusion
I hate South Jersey
It is sad when you both fear and despise the people who swear an oath to protect you
It is sadder yet when those people are pathological liars
I still spent over $100 just in reduced ticket and court fees
I couldn't head North fast enough

AndMore... Can't touch this!......Shalom

Many years ago when I was a teen and working my first job, my boss was the co-owner of a leather brief case distributor and a Rabbi.  I made the mistake of reaching out to shake his hand when he JUMPED back!  The secretary later told me women could not touch him or vice verse.

I was massively confused...  he was married and had a couple of kids.  For a long time I wondered how those kids came to be.  How could a wife withstand 'never' touching her husband.

Present Day


The train from Secaucus to New York was late.  People on the train were getting anxious, train delays was the excuse given through the pager system.  When we finally got to New York a man dressed all in black, wearing a Kippah and a black western hat along with a long black trench coat...fell.

When the train doors opened he rushed out.  The train from Jersey to NY has quite a gap from train to platform.  On occasion that gap could be quite dangerous.  He never looked down and his foot got caught between train and platform.  He fell and the fall was not graceful.  His hat flew off, his face hit concrete and his brief case went flying.

I was directly behind him.  Instinctively I went to grab him...............but.............that memory of years ago came back.  Can I touch him?  Should I let him fall?  Can I help him up?

During that mental questioning he completed the couple of rolls on the concrete and I just stood there.  On the platform staring.  The rest of the passengers jumped over him, went around us but none stopped.  Not even his fellow Jews.

It bothered me....still bothers me....


I spoke to my co-worker, telling the above story.  He said he took a Human Sexuality class in college.  He said they in fact don't touch women and concerning wives they have sex with a sheet between them.

I said - 'For that reason alone I would convert'.  Why would I stay in a religion that did not allow human contact with ones own spouse?????

On the way home I began to think.....  If he were falling into the track would it be alright then to reach out and grab him?  If he were choking are women supposed to just watch????   What is up with the sheet????

I felt a whole new appreciation for human contact, for my spiritual self and for being the woman I am (well, with the exception of just staring at someone fall and roll).

In the end the conclusion was................................COMMUTING SUCKS!

AndMore...Who watches the children? Who is the adult?

Daily I see this and still it amazes me.

The father walking the toddler to the daycare.  The toddler on a toddler scooter stopping and ranting.  You see him do nothing as the child does what she wants.  The street light about to change and she is standing still having a tantrum.  He stands there with her saying soothing words and apologizing to her.  People behind them shaking their heads as they pass them up.


The mother that allows the child to push her carriage.  Banging into people with mischief in her eyes.  The mother apologizing to those that are hit.  Soothingly begging the child to stop it.


The child that yells at the parent.  Stomping and angry whilst glaring at all that stare.  The parent soothingly asking him to stop.  Apologizing for having to ask him to keep on walking.


The teenager that gets out of the car while her mother is at a stop light.  Threatening to walk if the mother does not shut up.  The mother in despair soothingly agrees while begging her to get back in the car.

Who watches these children that rule themselves and their parents?  Who is the adult?

Speak to your children, explain why you want them to do things, be kind but firm.

These parents read those books and listened well.  Now look at them.  They are beaten and worn, begging for obedience and hating the world for thinking their off-springs as spawns.

Makes me think of a few people and characters:

Joffrey: I'll tell you what. I'm going to give you a present. After I raise my armies, and kill your traitor brother, I'll give you his head as well. ~The boy king of Game of Thrones



Tyler Hadley - beat his parents with a hammer then threw a party at the house.


Look, I really don't want to go to hell, but I can't stop my nature. I'm just a hateful person. ! Stewie Griffin of Family Guy


9 year old Arizona boy who killed his father and another man - 2009


Who watches the children?

AndMore...Commuting disasters, trust issues... hope.

Commuting disasters

If you are not following me on FaceBook then you have missed a lot concerning commuting.  I shall recap:
I moved to Clifton, a nice quiet part of the town... so close to the train station that if I sneeze the conductor can be heard saying 'Bless you'.

I have in the last two months - ended up in Ho-Ho-Kus (again, who names a town Ho-Ho-Kus?) where I believe the only dealership there is BMW.
Ended up in Patterson where I believed I would not survive and would be found shot, stabbed and choked to death.
Not to mention the times I missed a stop and just stood in the train as it went to Upstate and back.

I hate commuting.  It's the price of a mortgage with minimal trains, long waits in between trains, nasty staff and no hope for improvement.  But... as people keep telling me 'at least I have a job'.

Trust issues

It's no secret I have trust issues.  I have been let down by people that one should never expect to be let down by.  I do however at times give it a try.  I've yet to be impressed.  I have however learned a few translations:

I'll be right there = Don't hold your breath loser, I'll get there when my important self feels like it.
I do listen = When your voice sounds better then mine, I WILL listen.
Things will get better = Who the F knows what to say to that mess. Things will get better sounds good.
I'm running late = I'm debating whether you're worth missing an episode of Two and a Half Men.
Did you get your hair done = Geez, I wish you would get your hair done.
Did you lose weight = Good grief, do you own a mirror?
I love you = I f_cked everyone else over, best to keep you on my side.
I'm OK, I don't need anything = Can't you SEE I want something?  Can't you just GUESS????
I'm really busy, but soon we will = Hell no! Hopefully you will forget you asked.

Hope

I have a bittersweet relationship with Hope, that twisted BYTCH!
I grant her access to my heart, allow her to whisper to my mind and she betrays me more then not.  Like a Stockholm Syndrome victim, I keep listening.  I keep hoping and reality becomes one with fantasy.

In summary

If it weren't for the reading, blogging, writing, cooking, and/or just laying on the sofa staring at the ceiling numb... I would go crazy.

Inspiration me...It's been a while. Can you learn and be inspired from.............quotes and movies?

Can you get inspired by old quotes and movies?  Learn a lesson from just a quote?  I can... let me show you how.


God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference. - Reinhold Niebuhr

Wisdom to know the difference - that's where the problem mostly lies.  They say to have hope, but what if the years come and go and hope is still all you have?  They say believe and it shall be.  What if you believe for so long you can't decipher reality from fantasy?  What will courage and serenity do then?

I would say Grant me the wisdom to know the difference, the difference between what can be changed and what can't, then the wisdom to accept it.  The courage to move on and serenity to accept the time it took.


"It's all really very simple. You don't have to choose between being kind to yourself and others. It's one and the same." - Piero Ferrucci

Although in order to be kind to others you must first be kind to yourself.  Learn how, share and you'll habitually be even kinder to both.


Reese: When you find that one person who connects you to the world, you become someone different, someone better. When that person is taken from you, what do you become then? ~Person of Interest
What if the person is not taken away but there...they just stopped being the person that connects you to the world.  You don't go finding another...you learn to search for yourself and know that you will meet others along the way.

'It is better to light a candle than curse the darkness." ~unknown

Oh...but it's easier to curse the darkness.  Harder to walk through touching you way.  I'll light the candle knowing that if it goes out and I run out of matches... I can curse, walk and still find my way.


And a mind needs books like a sword needs a whetstone. ~Tyrion from Game of Thrones

Pretty much all those quotes lead to one thing.  Learn!  Watch and learn, listen and learn, see and learn.  When you find you can't learn...  change what you can, accept what you can't and the courage will teach you the difference.

Watchers Journal... The nitty gritty - relationships. Get your LOVE ON!

So I took a FB toll and writing a blog on 'my' perception of relationships won.  Oh Joy!  Here it goes.  It's my two cent worth, I am not a counselor, psycologist or psychiatrist.  I'm merely an observer...the Watcher.

Love potion #99

'From my hearts desire, I do make it so, and seal it with a kiss.' (Their disclaimer - For entertainment purposes only. Magic supplied by you. from Love Spell by Charmed in Company)

 

You can't pour a love potion and make them all fall in love.  You can however make a self love potion #inside.  Love yourself without narcissism.  How can you know how to love another if you don't love yourself?

 

Two parts bitter zero part sugar

 

You don't need to be healed enough to be worthy of love, but you may need to heal before you're ready for your soul mate. You deserve love, as broken or complete as you are. (from Love Alchemist's notebook by Jessica Shepherd)

Get over it!  Whoever did whatever to you does not deserve the power to change who you are.  Forget them and their predator ways, that will be the best payback.  Most predators don't like being forgotten.

When the charming, loving person is really a psychopath, sociopath, narcissist, pathological liar, cheater, abusive or a bit of each..... GET THE F OUT OF THERE!  Really?? Is there any other advise for that? Think... Sleeping with the enemy (with Julia Roberts).  Than go all Enough (with J Lo).

 

I sat and wrote some of the complaints I have heard recently by friends, people at work - just about everywhere.... and my take.

 

He doesn't want to have sex, too tired

No man is too tired to have sex, that's a fact. Even when so exhausted they fall out asleep, junior member there is tapping a thigh and if it could talk it would say 'wassup, how about tonight you do all the work, make it up to you when he's awake.'  A woman can get her libido on just as easily too.

Too tired = something else is going on. Do the elimination process.  See if there is something bothering the person, unresolved issues.  Are you two 'making' time for one another?  If the answer is yes -  Shave it, wax it, Febreeze it, stop whining, bytching, be sensual and if that doesn't work, hire a detective cause those swimmers are breeching another pool.

She nags too much

It's a no brainer. You're not listening. PERIOD. Women don't just nag. They want to be heard, some I agree want to be heard over and over, but that's both genders. Nagging is just a form of Passive Aggressive request. Basically we are trying not to beat your deaf dumb ass by repeatedly asking you to do simple stuff that your brain dead ass should already know how to do.

The ring he got me is too small

Unless he's a Rockefeller or a Gates be grateful you got one. If that doesn't convince you, here's another way to look at it... He wants your selfish ass, take it and run before he realizes what piranha you really are. Seriously???? There are too many hungry, jobless and sick people in this world for me to understand 10K rings and 100K weddings.

She is making this wedding a production

It's your wedding too. Grab hold of your nuts and remind everyone who is paying and what you want. Don't be a miser either. Balance is everything.

I think he/she is cheating on me

We were given instincts for a reason. Unless you have multiple personality or are seriously insecure... your instincts are telling you something so LISTEN.

He/She is cock/pussy whipped

Love these whiners. If a significant other wants to pamper or be pampered, then so be it. As long as there is no berating, denying of rights and/or mistreating I don't see any reason for others to complain. 

 

If a sex treat is on the plan then kudos for them and it only sucks to be you.  Remembering that some pampering is just awesome goes a long way in relationships.  Appreciating one another is not sexist it's sexy.

Seven year itch

There is no itch. She/he is bored with your azz. Spice it up!  Put a wig on, smack him when he walks in and demand he kiss you for it.  Call her up and tell her in a soft voice all the things you're going to do to her when  you get home.  FOLLOW UP on it!  Get your Paprika ON!

I can't live without him/her

If your weak ass is that dependent then by all means jump off the bridge. Only a socio path wants someone that dependent.

 

Love is hard work

 

Love is not hard work.  Building a tunnel, bridge or tower is hard work.  Life or love is not hard, people make it so!

The nitty gritty on relationships is knowing what love is and is not.  It's written best and I have copied it for you here (from Corinthians 13:4):

 

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.

It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 

Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.

It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Love never fails.

Are you loving yourself, others...love itself?  Get your LOVE  ON!!!