Soooooo......
My boss brings in Polish cookies. Harmless looking nickel size sugar cookies with chocolate covering. EVERYONE here knows I am allergic to coconut. The processed kind just sets my body up for a meltdown. I popped one in my mouth and instantly felt it melting, I also felt my tongue going numb. A large wad of cotton growing in my throat.
I run to the ladies room and spit the remnants out, stick my head under the faucet all while the new girl looked in horror. My tongue was numb but I could feel it swelling. PAUSE
PAUSE REASON: I hate the cold. Freezing cold that is. I just can't stand it in the least. I cursed the weather last night as I waited for the crappy heater to kick in so I could shower.
END OF PAUSE: I ran to my cube to get my coat, all the while thinking 'If I run to the hospital will I make it? NAH!' Seriously....who gets their coat in a crises?
I RAN. Right out the door heading to the nurses building which you have to run the length of the parking lot (about 1/2 block) up a ginormous hill, then right for about 1/2 a block, up some stairs down a corridor make a right down a longer corridor and to the Nurses office.
I am out of breath, coat open and yelled COCONUT - BENEDRYL which in my mind sounded just right but in reality came out more like DADADUT - BANADUT!!!! The nurses begin to ask me to repeat until one noticed the tongue. High level of Benedryl was administered while they tried to coax me to a room to lay down. I hadn't noticed I collapsed to the floor. That was a long run with limited breathing.
They had me sit there and all the while I kept thinking what led me there.
Co-worker #1 - Gracey there's cookies there open the box and have one.
Co-worker #2 - The boss brought them in, go ahead.
I had yelled out to the boss to verify (yes, I have trust issues) but he ignored me.
After some more egging on I opened the box and took a cookie.
It hit me... they must be feeling like SHYT. I grinned...well as much as a swollen tongue would allow. It took a long time for me to feel my tongue, the drowziness advised the medication was working. I looked up at the grinning nurses. One which knows me well enough from all the visits says 'I guess you couldn't start the year without SOMETHING going wrong'.
Seriously???? WTF???? How about some bedside manners!!! But... I had to smile - she had a point.
A couple of hours later aside from the sleepiness I began to feel like myself only with the fear of food. I ate leftovers even though I had wanted to get a sandwich before the cookie attack.
I've learned a few things:
Don't eat SHYT where the box isn't written all in ENGLISH
My co-workers are un-intentional evil people (can you hate them if it's not intentional?)
When running to save your life forget the coat
Always carry benedryl even though it's been years since an allergy - you never know when a country will forgoe an important ingredient on the box
When your tongue goes numb anything you say sounds like a toddler learning to speak
Nurses really do laugh at patients
I hate Polish cookies
My boss brings in Polish cookies. Harmless looking nickel size sugar cookies with chocolate covering. EVERYONE here knows I am allergic to coconut. The processed kind just sets my body up for a meltdown. I popped one in my mouth and instantly felt it melting, I also felt my tongue going numb. A large wad of cotton growing in my throat.
I run to the ladies room and spit the remnants out, stick my head under the faucet all while the new girl looked in horror. My tongue was numb but I could feel it swelling. PAUSE
PAUSE REASON: I hate the cold. Freezing cold that is. I just can't stand it in the least. I cursed the weather last night as I waited for the crappy heater to kick in so I could shower.
END OF PAUSE: I ran to my cube to get my coat, all the while thinking 'If I run to the hospital will I make it? NAH!' Seriously....who gets their coat in a crises?
I RAN. Right out the door heading to the nurses building which you have to run the length of the parking lot (about 1/2 block) up a ginormous hill, then right for about 1/2 a block, up some stairs down a corridor make a right down a longer corridor and to the Nurses office.
I am out of breath, coat open and yelled COCONUT - BENEDRYL which in my mind sounded just right but in reality came out more like DADADUT - BANADUT!!!! The nurses begin to ask me to repeat until one noticed the tongue. High level of Benedryl was administered while they tried to coax me to a room to lay down. I hadn't noticed I collapsed to the floor. That was a long run with limited breathing.
They had me sit there and all the while I kept thinking what led me there.
Co-worker #1 - Gracey there's cookies there open the box and have one.
Co-worker #2 - The boss brought them in, go ahead.
I had yelled out to the boss to verify (yes, I have trust issues) but he ignored me.
After some more egging on I opened the box and took a cookie.
It hit me... they must be feeling like SHYT. I grinned...well as much as a swollen tongue would allow. It took a long time for me to feel my tongue, the drowziness advised the medication was working. I looked up at the grinning nurses. One which knows me well enough from all the visits says 'I guess you couldn't start the year without SOMETHING going wrong'.
Seriously???? WTF???? How about some bedside manners!!! But... I had to smile - she had a point.
A couple of hours later aside from the sleepiness I began to feel like myself only with the fear of food. I ate leftovers even though I had wanted to get a sandwich before the cookie attack.
I've learned a few things:
Don't eat SHYT where the box isn't written all in ENGLISH
My co-workers are un-intentional evil people (can you hate them if it's not intentional?)
When running to save your life forget the coat
Always carry benedryl even though it's been years since an allergy - you never know when a country will forgoe an important ingredient on the box
When your tongue goes numb anything you say sounds like a toddler learning to speak
Nurses really do laugh at patients
I hate Polish cookies
At least your boss was innocent in this ordeal
ReplyDeleteHi Gracey,
ReplyDeleteI think you should suggest that your co-workers sign up to do the Fear Factor tv show. That would be ample payback....lol
No one cared enough to run to the nurses office with you?
Have a great day.
Bruce