Hello Everyone,

October 2015

I love October, not just because it is my birthday month but because the air changes, the season changes, the time changes.

It is when we must embrace the fact that the time change will have us seeing the dark sooner. A time when the trees begin to let loose the leaves, orange, brown and yellow leaves flying about.

It is the time when the ghouls and horrors are seen in decorations, shows, movies and parties.

It is the time when we say farewell to the summer heat, smile toward the cooler weather and wonder of the winter to come.

Happy October! May there be light within you to shine upon the earlier darker hours. May the ghouls and gremlins that ring the door bell make you smile and partake in trick or treat.

May you embrace the change in season knowing... it will bring us back to Spring soon enough.

I have added a tab - Whisper my words, which is a link to my site where I post stories, poems, AndMore events and the Watcher's Journal. Take a peek and enjoy.



February 08, 2013

Despicable they...Racist, heartless, humanity Oh My!

When my mothers Parkinson Disease took it's toll walking was torture for her. Not only for the obvious reasons, shuffling, getting stuck in place or when turning corners but also because of people. My sister lacked understanding as to why she would not leave the house. It only took one visit to the mall for me to understand.

Even though we walked along the side people thought it too much an effort to pass her by, instead walking behind complaining loudly to their companion or sighing loudly, repeatedly. I always found myself as her protector, eyeing people, telling them to just pass and do so quietly. Rare were the times when someone held the door or patiently waited or with empathy passed her by. Humanity has lost the human aspect of that word.
Yesterday I had to deal with something I had not had to deal with in quite some years. Racism. The hard core, evil and hate filled kind. Ah...but is there any other kind? Let's go back to yesterday.....

My son took me to Stop n Shop in Clifton, NJ before going to night school, I wanted to plan ahead and buy some things in case I was snowed in. I also wanted to get some movies from the RedBox kiosk located in that store. I was in great spirits which is rare these past few months.

We quickly got the items I needed and already knew the movies we were going to rent. He would also be getting a couple of movies from the kiosk as he was preparing ahead himself.

All the cashier lanes were filled, the masses were preparing as well. I was on the 12 items or less line. The woman in front of me along with her teenage daughter had a cart filled. No one cares about those signs. If they did those lines would actually move quicker. She unloaded already upset because the cashier mentioned something about the amount of items. She left the cart away from herself not allowing anyone else to begin placing things on the belt. I asked 3 times if she was going to use the cart (otherwise I would have simply moved it out of the way and to the side), she told her daughter to move it before she got all upset. I shook my head....incredible. The daughter clearly a product of her environment saw that there was one item overlooked in the cart and threw it with force onto to the belt, she turned to glare at me, I glared right back. (Why oh why do they say we can't beat kids I will never understand).

The cashier quickly rang the items, the woman purposely took her time, taking out a multitude of credit cards rubber banded together. Casually looking at each one slowly. The cashier kept rolling her eyes, I kept praying for patience. She finally chose one and after the transaction was complete she remained leaning on the credit card machine. Slowly reorganizing her large purse. The cashier had finished ringing up my 5 items but I could not swipe my card. I inhaled deeply, the cashier, a young little thing looked at me imploringly. I scooted closely to the woman careful not to touch and swiped my card, we were a hair width length apart. That pretty much pissed the woman even more and she yanked her purse and left. I shook my head...incredible.

We finally get to the kiosk and my son goes first, movies for him and the girlfriend. We both knew the movies we wanted in advance. As he is choosing a Caucasian woman comes by. I hear her mumbling curses and thought she was on the ear piece. My soon took about 3 minutes tops most of that time was the box taking it's time spewing out the movies. As he is finishing, I hear the woman say 'stupid mother fuckers'. I shrugged not thinking anything of it, smiling at the thought that someone was getting reamed foully and should have just hung up. Another woman with two kids stood behind foul mouth. I figured that line was getting long quickly and am glad I know exactly what I want.

I go and as soon as I touch the screen she starts getting really close and I turn and look at her. She is staring at my hand.

'You stupid or something, I don't have all fucking day. Can you read?' Her acid laced words were not loud, not a whisper either. I was floored.

I kept going through the selection for Blu Ray but they had several of the same movie for reg disk, you have to keep swiping for the screen to change to get the Blu Ray. She starts with the 'You fucking idiot, hurry up'. I feel a fury I had not felt in many years brew. I begin my mantra... Lord, just let me get through this without a word or a bail requirement.

me: excuse me?

her: I see you better now, I knew it, latin fucking pig cunt, if you can't read and I know spics can't move over I do it for you

me: Oh hell no, I think I'll just start from the beginning, I cancel my selection and start from scratch (now it's just principle, I'm not moving)

her: more foul shit out of her mouth (trust me the above was the nicest she said)

me: (I just go back to the born again christian days where prayers helped. LORD JESUS keep me from jail, keep me from beating her ass. I repeat this mentally over and over, she is just going OFF.) More racism.

My son is to my right (she is to my left) and he is just in utter shock.

The woman with kids waiting decided to tell her kids they didn't need a movie and ushered them out.

This was just unprovoked. I told him to get the manager.

Now I'm so pissed I am shaking and fighting the urge to hit, so now I really can't manage the screen. She steps in front of me 'why a cunt like you can't let a smart white woman do this is beyond me'. I don't care what anyone says, until you are in that position you really don't know what you will do. The old me would have hit her. Repeatedly. But...something tells me I would be doing time. She made sure to get really close but not touch.

The Rican came out - 'BACK OFF you need to back your racist foul self off me'

She goes on about what whores we are (I'm betting a Latina screwed her man and he was never the same...just sayin)

A Manager finally comes over. He asks what is going on. She finally gets silent but has a huge alligator smile. He's Caucasian. I tell him what happened and he asks 'what do I do? what do you want me to do?' I freaked. YOU KIDDING ME?

I told him, stand there and stare at her until her racist mouth closes and I finish my movie purchase! I get my movies and he walks out with me and my son. So he never says anything to her and he walks ME OUT???? She could not have shown her happiness more if she tried.

'I did't know what to do?" he says again. 'What exactly did she say to you'. So I told him, every filthy word.

I then told him, you do exactly what you did, nothing. I will never come here again and tell many. Perhaps then you will learn what you should do. Or this company will learn to educate its staff on what to do. You WILL lose business for not keeping this environment safe. Hate crime is not safe.

It is 24 hours since that took place and I am still calming the fury within.

Humanity is something we need to keep alive and yet it is dying a quick and painful death.

My son drove me home it was a silent trip. He knew I was still trying to calm down. 

I understand why racial remarks can create anger and hostility, that woman while unprovoked not only insulted me but continued to do so for quite some time. In hind sight I don't even pity her, I simply despise the fact that a lot of people still don't understand that racism is still here and going strong. That beast was bred and taught that soul fill hatred. And I really hope all the men in her family marry Latinas, give her Latin grandchildren, I pray when she dies a Latin priest prays over her and that the four corners of her burial is surrounded by a Castro, Gonzales, Rivera and Lopez. I hope that when she reaches hell an Enrique greets her in Spanish!

That's what I will pray for.