Hello Everyone,

October 2015

I love October, not just because it is my birthday month but because the air changes, the season changes, the time changes.

It is when we must embrace the fact that the time change will have us seeing the dark sooner. A time when the trees begin to let loose the leaves, orange, brown and yellow leaves flying about.

It is the time when the ghouls and horrors are seen in decorations, shows, movies and parties.

It is the time when we say farewell to the summer heat, smile toward the cooler weather and wonder of the winter to come.

Happy October! May there be light within you to shine upon the earlier darker hours. May the ghouls and gremlins that ring the door bell make you smile and partake in trick or treat.

May you embrace the change in season knowing... it will bring us back to Spring soon enough.

I have added a tab - Whisper my words, which is a link to my site where I post stories, poems, AndMore events and the Watcher's Journal. Take a peek and enjoy.



October 03, 2015

inspireYOU... I don't believe....

I find the people that say I don't believe... and yet preach about believing to be the most intriguing.

"I don't believe in depression."  "I believe the universe will give me peace."
"I don't believe in hyper tension, it's just a kid with bad parenting." "I believe a higher being will grant me wealth."

Make up YOUR MIND!  I read a ton of memes online, and some quite frankly I find to be more so ignorant than offensive.

I have TWO nephews with Cerebral Palsy, one of which is also autistic.  That sickness that some say is just a child being a daydreamer.  I have a niece with ADHD, she is an adult now and still struggles with it.  It is offensive to THEM when people that don't bother reading to have such worthless opinions.  

I get panic attacks, so severe for a while it affected my heart and required months long treatment.  I can't tell you how many times I have heard people say or write 'oh, that's just someone not being able to handle things and having a fit.' 'That's a good cover for a titty attack.'

Panic Attack by definition is - a sudden feeling of acute and disabling anxiety.

I can tell you exactly what it is.  It is darkness appearing all of a sudden on a sunny day.  It's the lack of being able to breath normally so you breath so fast your heart rate increases.  A tremendous amount of unknown fear explodes inside you, you don't even know where to start the confrontation and your excessive breathing is now making you feel like faint.  Just short of a year ago, I found myself lying on the train platform, I don't even remember landing, just the attack coming, struggling to breath then breathing so much I passed out.  The pain in my chest was anything but imagined.  I began to embrace what I thought was my coming death.  Surely, I was having a heart attack.  No titties were involved and I wasn't stressing over anything at that moment.  Just waiting for the train.

"In my day we didn't have all these so called sicknesses.  It's an excuse."  In your day there were more serial killers, 'crazy people' (the one shop word for not knowing the real sickness) and less chemicals put into your food for processing (something many are trying to prove to be a part of the reason for so many illnesses).  In your day, ignorance was excusable but with the vast information out there and the ease to get it, that can no longer be an excuse.

I mean people can't even check an article to see if it's satire or a hoax.  Just spreading the ignorance like fairy dust and hating the ones taking the time to set the record straight.

How about you inspire yourself to either be a good human and listen to someone and then do some research to better understand before opening your mouth?  Or, if you're not inclined to research just keep your mouth shut and listen.  No one expects everyone to have a medical degree, but we do expect some respect, empathy and concern.

Be thankful you don't have any illnesses, be grateful you were cared enough for to be considered a shoulder to lean on.  Even if it's a quiet one.

I have learned to listen, I don't like giving advice, I don't like recommending anything (I'm no Dr) but I like to listen.  If it's something I have been through or a condition I am familiar with I may mention what worked for ME, but I would also put emphasis that a MEDICAL professional opinion is best.

Are you living in the dark?  Are you a non believer posing as a believer?  Do you take an interest in what is going on in TODAY's world?  Are you informed enough to be able to help today's children?  Can you just make it through a day without judgement?

I dare you to stop, read, listen and just give a silent shoulder to the next person that reaches out to you with a condition you don't know a thing about.


September 06, 2015

inspire ME.... Let GO or Be DRAGGED

Image result for letting go cartoon

The past couple of months have been a learning experience, more so then usual. Things I have learned:

Letting go... moving on
I have learned that letting go and moving on remains the theme of life.  I also learned that you meet new people and the first thing you do is let go and move on with those that have no good in mind.

Having said that, I try to be as good as possible in keeping in touch with friends, acquaintances and family.  If I am not sick or working mad hours, I will take the time in the varied methods to communicate.  Call, text, email and/or social media.

I have decided to take a rather large amount of steps back on reaching out.  Granted, when I do people respond, but if I don't the weeks, months and even years will pass without a word.  Instead of harboring on it, I make room for the new, the interested, those that want to be reached out to and want to reach out themselves.

That is of course after my hiatus.  That time when I seek self.  Look deep and see where I have gone wrong, where I could have done better.  Replenish my soul so to speak.  A time when instead of letting that dark cloud embrace me, walk right into it in silent battle.

New faces and places
I find that people at the start tell a whole lot, brand you friend and make expectations.  I'm more relaxed then that.  I mean, seriously, look at the name of this blog WATCHER'S notes.  I rather watch, learn and see if this is an environment I would fit into.  I don't have the want, inclination or effort to interrogate someone about their past or what makes them tick.  I have that patience... the kind that listens, watches and learns who they are now.

In the end, your smile is there
I find it both amusing and terrifying how many people are bothered by someone's laughter, humor and/or positive attitude.  Negativity is everywhere, why encourage it?  While the frowners whine, I bring my smile.  Sometimes it is painted on, other times heart felt but in the end it is still my smile.

Chocolate Pie
Some people just need one of Minny Jackson's chocolate pie.  For those that have not seen the movie (The Help), a maid made an interesting recipe of chocolate pie.  Served it to the boss that fired her, treated her poorly and was unapologetic about any of it.  I mean if you want to spend so much time bullshitting might as well have some of Minny's Chocolate Pie.

Lincoln Park
Have you ever heard the song In The End by Lincoln Park?  I love it.  Most especially this part:
I tried so hard
And got so far
But in the end
It doesn't even matter
I had to fall
To lose it all
But in the end
It doesn't even matter

I wouldn't say I agree, I mean, I tried so hard and failed, I got far and it mattered.  I fell (as most know repeatedly) but I get back up, in the end.... it all matters.  Who I am today is due to all I have done and been through.  I no longer live in regret.  I would relive my life... just the same.  But, who I am today is not who I was yesterday or all the yesterdays before that.  Actually I am no way near the person I was 10 years ago, 5 years ago, 1 year ago.

Bridget Jones Diary
Because I like me, just as I am!
There's a wonderful part to this movie where she sits at her dinner table with her closest friends and the man she crushes on, the one that told her 'I like you.... just as you are.'  She had told her friends prior and they while at a bar stripped those words down and scrutinized it.  At the dinner party, they raised their glass to her and told her they liked her 'just as you are'.

How many people will accept one another 'just as they are'?  I've a good friend that has several bad habits, I like 'just as he is'.  I've another friend, diva to the core I like her 'just as she is'.  Granted some things about people will rub me the wrong way, but their differences is what I appreciate the most.  I already hang out with me 24/7, why find another me?

Best Exotic Marigold Hotel - Finding the living out of the dying.  This will be my next post under inspireYOU.  Don't worry it will be much more inspirational and enlightening then it sounds.  If you haven't watched the movies (Part 1 and 2 - Second Best Exotic Marigold Hotel) then you should, there will be plenty spoilers in the blog, you've been warned.

Although the above has inspired me in many ways, I hope it has inspired you as well.

09/06/2015 - ~gracey castro

March 02, 2015

inspire ME: It's all about that tude... about that tude

A few weeks ago I signed off from my weekly inspireME email I would send to a select group.  After a couple of months of things gone awry, I felt that my message of.... survival, smiling through trials and tribulations, luck within misfortune was not getting across.  Instead, I was getting the feeling that sympathy and lack of positive feedback was taking place.  In addition, I needed time for self, to inspire ME!  After all, how much inspiration can I give when I lack it myself.

Well, I'm back and with a fierceness in inspiration.  This time, I shall post it on the long neglected blog I almost forgot about.

Let's get this started:

March is one of 3 months that is rough for me.  All pertaining to my father.  This March marks the 8th anniversary of his passing.  Although Spring and it's profound reminder of new beginnings is in the air, the past and the lovely memories of him, take over.  Bittersweet to say the least.

Nothing lasts forever folks, appreciate what you have while you have it.  This post will be short and sweet.  Moving forward the same format as the email Inspiration will be used.

Disappointment and misery are optional.  Redeem your time.  Don't waste valuable time fighting a senseless battle. ~Joel Osteen

When I lack inspiration the most, Joel Osteen refills it with more to spare.

Bring to me... 

Bring to me an open heart, lacking misery
take with you the song of doom
long past I am of accepting your trickery

Bring to me the laughter of many
take with you the tears in gloom
Happiness is around a plenty

Bring to me your love and care
take with you the hate in bloom
Strong is my spirit... beware - gcc 03/02/2015