Let’s start with Nurse KillJOy as she is the start of the bad week, which leads to the burger and Bloodboy.
A month ago I felt it necessary to have my health checked, something amiss was noticed. Tests were taken. At the Dr.’s office no matter the reason you call (other than appointment making) you are transferred to the Nurse’s line. Nurse Joy; who NEVER picks up the phone. Rarely returns calls and when she does it’s because you must leave threatening voice mails, she than calls late at night in the hopes you do not pick up. Leaves a message to call back only to get the answering service telling you the office has been closed since 4pm. This literally goes on for a week straight.
Friday – I had called the day before advising to gather my medical records and tests (films) so that a specialist can have a go at them. This specialist would then schedule any surgery/treatment required.
Nurse KillJOy leaves me a message that all will be there at 8am. On that morning I decide to make the best of it and be happy. To ensure this I purchase and drink 2 Venti coffees. I am WIRED and Chatty. I get to the office to be told Nurse KillJOy did not leave my records out and will not be in until 10am. She arrives thereafter only to be told my tests were never there, she lied. I was tranquilized…let’s leave it at that.
The following week, I am a wreck daily. I now have to find a specialist since the one waiting the week before is not available. I also had to track down my own records and retrieve them. Clearly I was not myself.
One weekday I am hungry which after the prior week is rare. Bloodboy offers to get pick up lunch. PAUSE
PAUSE REASON: I need to add that Bloodboy often offers to get lunch, but like a woman with her period he changes his mind and I end up getting my own lunch and late.
END OF PAUSE: This particular day he is going early to the company cafeteria. I SAY that I want a turkey burger but for unknown reasons I write on the note a veggie burger. I had to write the note because the whining Nelly aka; Bloodboy was afraid he would forget the words Turkey Burger.
He comes back with the lunch. I open the tray cover and am confused. It’s indescribable, but I think to myself that this place has a tendency to change EVERYTHING to make it gourmet.
I take a bite and the first thing that registers my taste buds and brain is RICE. WHAT THE FUCK IS RICE DOING IN A BURGER???? I chew once more and something crackles. I spit it out, actually gag to make sure it all comes out.
I REALLY look at it, take off the bun and lettuce……..it’s VOMIT made into a patty. That’s the best I can do. And there are small dark things that resemble mice turd a bit too much. It took all I had not to throw up.
Bloodboy goes into full disclaimer. ‘YOU wrote it on the note. It was the LAST ONE, it must be good.’ My snarl must have been enough warning.
I ate fries for lunch with Sprite. Mentally cursing that useless Bloodboy with every bite.
Things known about me: I am CARNIVORES. ALL FUCKING MEALS HAVE MEAT! Seriously…if the plane crashes in a remote place….leave me 3 days food and run my little LAMB chop! COMMON SENSE! It should have meat in it.
Veggie burgers are for weakass people that think only animals are alive. I am pretty sure all those living vegetables are screaming they just don’t have vocal chords. Plants die; hence they were alive!
What DUMBASS MOTHERFUCKER puts RICE (a grain for those of you that don’t know) in a VEGGIE burger! And what the FUCK is the black things?????? (NO! Don’t tell me).
I think someone collected puke, put rice and gluten to hold it together, made a patty, STOMPED on it and decided….YEAH! DUMB MOTHERFUCKERS WOULD EAT THIS SHIT!
$7.00 value meal my PUERTO RICAN ASS! Speaking of which….really….I did not earn this ass by eating VEGGIES!