Hello Everyone,

October 2015

I love October, not just because it is my birthday month but because the air changes, the season changes, the time changes.

It is when we must embrace the fact that the time change will have us seeing the dark sooner. A time when the trees begin to let loose the leaves, orange, brown and yellow leaves flying about.

It is the time when the ghouls and horrors are seen in decorations, shows, movies and parties.

It is the time when we say farewell to the summer heat, smile toward the cooler weather and wonder of the winter to come.

Happy October! May there be light within you to shine upon the earlier darker hours. May the ghouls and gremlins that ring the door bell make you smile and partake in trick or treat.

May you embrace the change in season knowing... it will bring us back to Spring soon enough.

I have added a tab - Whisper my words, which is a link to my site where I post stories, poems, AndMore events and the Watcher's Journal. Take a peek and enjoy.



June 10, 2013

The definition of.....Friendship

All to often I see and hear people use the word friend as an extra adjective to be used often with little meaning behind it.  Worse yet using it as flattery.

Let's have a look at the definition of each type of friend -

A person whom one knows and with whom one has a bond of mutual affection, typically exclusive of sexual or family relations.

One's slight knowledge of friendship with someone.

Social friend
A social friend may be one you often meet at social occasions, or one who many accompany you to social gatherings, but with whom you don't have a personal relationship. You know much more about each other than you would a mere acquaintance, but much less than if you were personal friends.

It is seen as an insult to call someone a social friend.  Even worse to refer to someone as an acquaintance.   It is the norm to upgrade people to brother, sister, mother, etc.  I mean.... FRIEND is such a powerful word, meaningful and if found just right...everlasting.  Yet, some treat it like a title similar to having one at a company or like a prostitute, available for the right price.

Long gone (for the most part) is the reality that a friend is a special bond between two people, with time, effort and caring it lasts.  It's a relationship that needs nurturing.  Friends don't need the BF in front of it.  Friends are there and accept you the way you are, they tell you the truth about you when you are in denial.  Friends keep your secrets even if a hired hit man comes to try to get it out of them.

An acquaintance is no less someone to care for, it's just that they are not that close.  Acquaintances can be someone you met from a friend, a person you work with and sometimes hang out with, a drinking buddy where you drink and be merry but share very little personal things.  You share a flare for enjoying life...on occasion.

A social friend is someone that you have a similar interest with, for example I have a social friend where for 18 years our passion for poetry allows us to meet and go to poetry events.  We pretty much don't know much about each other but the basics.  One may probably not have much else in common, but that one thing or two is enough to meet every so often.

None of my friends are considered family.  They are my friends, I may extend myself in the same capacity as I would family, but because I care for them deeply, not because I adopted them.  I have no brothers and I have a 'friend' that if I had a brother I would wish were like him.  I love him deeply and would do as much for him as I would and have done for family.  He is my friend.  I already see friend itself as the best, so I don't need to add BF.  He just is.  We share parenting nightmares, work issues and laugh about anything.  We are both pretty open so there are no secrets to keep, but we don't share each others personal lives with others.  If he feels the need to share something personal I said with his wife, he always asks (it's usually the crazy shit that happens to me).   She is an angel.  She understands our friendship and encourages we keep in touch.

In my life I have had friends come and go and rarely is the occasion when the difficult decision is made to step out of a friends life.  Great measures are taken not to, but there are those times when I've had to resort to stepping away.  My heart still aches for each and every one of them, but my decision is as solid now as when I made it.  There is no room in my life for anyone that brings misery, pain or malice.

I am blessed enough to have a handful of each - friend, acquaintance and social friend.  Maybe not enough to rent a small city for space but enough to keep me grounded.

Friendship takes work, it takes building upon and checking the foundation for strength.  It's a relationship and both parties are responsible for keeping it alive.  A friend is a treasure and one does not abandon treasures.  If you treat a treasure with little value you will soon have none.  It is the same with the relationship called friend.

Jada Smith said it best in an interview with Redbook magazine - "the idea that good relationships don't need work is a romanticized (notion)...."

Even better is what the editor wrote on the same topic - "What I learned putting this issue together: Women run on girlfriend power. Recharge daily! -Jill Herzig, Editor in Chief

I would add to that - NOT just women, everyone would run on friend power.  Everyone should Recharge daily.

Whether you are a friend, acquaintance or social friend to someone....are you nurturing that relationship?  Respecting and appreciating them?  Or is it all about you?