Silence, they say is a virtue. I say, it can keep one out of jail.
Lately, I have been reconnecting with long lost friends, acquaintances and social friends. One of which said.....G, you've become pretty quiet, I mean you always have something to say, what's going on?
I know she thought my silence was due to some problem or stress, but the reality is......I have lost interest in speaking with people, at least for the most part.
I used to see this guy that for years we were able to speak, to laugh, to share stories and horrors. Rarely if ever we had quiet moments. About two years ago he started cutting me off, if we spent 4 hours together he did most of the talking and the little I did was basically sounds effects one makes to let the other person know you are paying attention. If I mentioned it he would apologize, listen for all of 2 minutes and take over the conversation. For a long time after that, I rarely spoke. I don't know what bothered me more, the fact that he didn't notice or the fact that I would do so.
I am constantly surrounded by people that don't let you finish speaking, in most cases they aren't even cutting you off to share a similar topic, rather just changing the whole conversation. At work I see people do this to one another, it is amazing how many unfinished conversations people have on the other hand it explains the mass miscommunication I also notice, daily.
I can't tell you how many times I have said 'I need to talk', not want ----- NEED and end up writing about it in my journal. In hindsight It's actually better not to talk to anyone. Things like confidence, trust and loyalty a thing of the past.
I can't tell you how many times I say on a daily basis 'I'M STILL TALKING' or 'I'M NOT FINISHED'. This is just a couple of sentences into a conversation. For those of us that miss the losing art of communicating verbally.... we are outnumbered.
It's not a silent protest, it is just the fact that I won't waste time starting a conversation or joining one where you end up racing to finish a sentence, let alone a thought out loud. It's just long hand writing, I miss it but I have learned to live without it while watching the art of communicating wander off.
The excitement in long hand correspondence was in waiting for the post to arrive, opening the envelope and relaxing while reading the words of another. The excitement of grabbing quill/pen to paper and writing back.
We are a minute society. If it takes more than a minute the brain is elsewhere. We don't let a conversation marinade, which leaves most to assume what another meant or felt. Miscommunication!!!
After speaking this with her she laughed and said..... "THERE SHE IS"!
I had to laugh at that too. My rant had less periods and paragraphs when I said it. Her take on it was simple...........
'G... If someone can't take the time to listen or the respect to converse then just give them what they want. Give them their time, walk away. If at our age we haven't learned the basics we're not going to learn it now. It reminds me of what my Grandmother used to say. "Stupid people don't listen, hear or think. They just talk and talk".'
She's right! This is why we can talk to one another, we learned the basic, one talks the other listens, partakes and it goes on back and forth. In a great conversation one or both walk away with a little more knowledge.
It is rare when I can sit with someone and just talk, recently I went to brunch where I didn't realize hours had passed. Well, of course it did, there was a great conversation was had and both parties got to share in it. There have been other times, just sparse. I mean... it should a constant thing.....like....etiquette.
I miss having conversation.
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