Hello Everyone,

October 2015

I love October, not just because it is my birthday month but because the air changes, the season changes, the time changes.

It is when we must embrace the fact that the time change will have us seeing the dark sooner. A time when the trees begin to let loose the leaves, orange, brown and yellow leaves flying about.

It is the time when the ghouls and horrors are seen in decorations, shows, movies and parties.

It is the time when we say farewell to the summer heat, smile toward the cooler weather and wonder of the winter to come.

Happy October! May there be light within you to shine upon the earlier darker hours. May the ghouls and gremlins that ring the door bell make you smile and partake in trick or treat.

May you embrace the change in season knowing... it will bring us back to Spring soon enough.

I have added a tab - Whisper my words, which is a link to my site where I post stories, poems, AndMore events and the Watcher's Journal. Take a peek and enjoy.



June 14, 2013

the definition of .........Wedding

Wedding - the act or ceremony of marrying; marriagenuptials.

Oh, where to begin with this monster of a topic.  Well, I guess with the disclaimer.  I am not bitter about weddings, marriage or having a great time.  I am however saddened at the reality of how people define a wedding.

The best wedding I have been to in the last 10 years and I have been to many, was a simple wedding of 50 people.  The couple were not poor, but not rich either.  They planned on a home that would fit kids as they wanted a few.  That was their goal, after getting married that is.  They also wanted a month long honeymoon.  They both worked grueling hours and to meet their home and family goal, they were not giving that up for at least two years, so they wanted an extended honeymoon. They didn't expect anyone to pay for any of it.

Instead of renting a hall, they paid one of their co-workers for the space of their very large (acres) yard.  I mean the damn site should not be called a yard.  They had most of the food catered, but since they loved cultural food, they were open to the idea of people bringing a main dish of their culture.  It was not required.  One of the gifts from the best man was to purchase and have sent an insane amount of booze.  One of the our friends taking a baking class for like EVER, made the cake.  I actually teared when I saw it, The Cake Boss would have been envious of that creation.

The music was a combination of a local band and a DJ.  I danced till my feet went numb, so did most of the guests.  Mass conversation was had since it was an intimate setting, I have several acquaintances and social friends that were made that day.  The best part (well other than the vows) was that neither bride or groom stressed over planning 'their' day.

The bridesmaids were given full control over Bachelorette party and bridal shower.  They kept it to the simple theme the bride is known for.  They also kept it within realistic budget.  The grooms men did as well.

I speak with the bride often throughout the years and never, not once, has she ever mentioned what she got in total or part in reference to money from that day.  She was however very gracious with handwritten notes to show her appreciation for all gifts received.

Just one wedding.  In ten years.  Just one that I remember and smile, that I consider the best.

Now a days even the wedding party needs to take out a loan for a wedding.  Brides won't settle for a bachelorette party, instead it's destination party or a weekend at the beach.  Expenses payable by wedding party.  The demands on the bridesmaids and their bank accounts is just insane.  The stress, the anger, the resentments all leading to the big day that is now commonly referred to as 'her' day.  Insane!

You rarely hear of the vows, it's the dress, the flowers, the food, whose wedding was better, larger, more expensive.  For the past year I just put a big fat 0 when I get invitations, frankly I am amazed I get them when anyone that knows me will know I don't fall for the hype.  And don't even think about asking me to be in a wedding!  I bailed out on the last two.  One bride demanded a certain gift that cost upwards of $3K and she only had 3 bridesmaids.  A thousand dollars just on the gift?  She wanted an extended weekend down the shore (another $2,000 just for the room) and gladiator heels.  Another bride wanted a destination wedding during a time I was moving out of state.  I couldn't handle the expense so I bailed shortly after being asked and immediately after she announced they decided on a destination wedding.  She was so upset I didn't take out a loan I never heard from her again.  Both of those brides are no longer married.  Wasted money!

I love Sex in the City show and movie.  I miss it really.  One of the movies was Carrie Bradshaw finally getting married to Big.  SPOILER ALERT!!!!!!!!!!!

He couldn't go through with it.  Not because of her, their relationship or even love.  He couldn't go through the insane wedding it turned out to be.  As she put it 'the wedding became bigger than big'.  When they finally got back together it was just them and the justice of the peace.  Their guests were other couples waiting their turn to get married.

How many 'weddings' end up ending a marriage?  How many are debt long before saying I do?  How many have changed into the bridezilla and/or groomzilla over what is no longer called a ceremony but an Event?

I love the David Tutera show.  Seeing his creations is just amazing, but I still believe it loses the essence of it all.  Two people, madly in love, wanting to get married and begin their lives together.  Throwing a party afterward for their friends and family to partake in.

Even the chore of invitations is insane.  Inviting people just because they will give a greater check, people you don't even like and worst of all people you barely know.  The highlight at the end is counting the money bag and hoping if you didn't break out even you made out with extra loot.

I don't know about you but I rather spend my money wisely and without pressure.  I won't even get into what baby showers are turning into now.

The angst with weddings is getting out there....have a read....

Men are saying no to participating in the wedding party

Why weddings suck

Those that regret the cost

Impact of the cost

So..... Is it all about the wedding?  Is it about the bride and groom? Is it about the guests?  Even if the answer is yes to all 3 questions it doesn't have to cost the amount of a down payment to a house.