Hello Everyone,

October 2015

I love October, not just because it is my birthday month but because the air changes, the season changes, the time changes.

It is when we must embrace the fact that the time change will have us seeing the dark sooner. A time when the trees begin to let loose the leaves, orange, brown and yellow leaves flying about.

It is the time when the ghouls and horrors are seen in decorations, shows, movies and parties.

It is the time when we say farewell to the summer heat, smile toward the cooler weather and wonder of the winter to come.

Happy October! May there be light within you to shine upon the earlier darker hours. May the ghouls and gremlins that ring the door bell make you smile and partake in trick or treat.

May you embrace the change in season knowing... it will bring us back to Spring soon enough.

I have added a tab - Whisper my words, which is a link to my site where I post stories, poems, AndMore events and the Watcher's Journal. Take a peek and enjoy.



November 30, 2010

Dear Diary...if home is where the heart is?...Tis not fair I say

If home is where the heart is, what happens when your heart is lost.

Ever the gypsy I land where my feet take me.  The landscape though different brings the same storms.  Diary why do I suffer to accept humanities atrocities?

People make promises they don't intend to keep.  Yet, the law says I can't beat the shit out of them.  Tis not fair I say.

They cram a bunch of seats in a bus, you could lick the seat in front of you without leaning forward.  People insist on reclining to the point where you could lick their forehead.  Yet, the law says I can't give them a karate chop to the throat.  Tis not fair I say.

You try to help people and they just take and take and take until there is nothing left.  Yet, the church says give more while taking a lot for themselves.  Tis not fair I say. (Had more to day but I'm already on that bus to hell).

I drive on the highway, all the way to the right, slightly above speeding limit and people insist on tailgating, high beaming as if they were royalty and you should move out of the way instead of their using the PASSING lane.  Yet, the law says I can't side swipe them into the nearest set of trees.  Tis not fair I say.

I watch as friends struggle to get a slice a bread, then watch daily as others do nothing all day for a free check.  Yet, the law says I can't take those lazy FUCKERS to the nearest shelter and lock them in there for a few days so they learn appreciation.  Tis not fair I say.

Diary...if home is where the heart is....then what happens when your heart is lost?.....Tis not fair I say!

November 23, 2010

AndMore...I must tolerate people, I must tolerate people, I must NOT beat up people

People just make me sick.  The whiners are the worst...you just can't shut them the FUCK up.  But second in line are the passive aggressive people, PUSSIES all of them!

PICK one you are either mad and ready to do some time or your a victim bendind over for some more.  I just fucking hate it when I have to decipher those sociopaths.  For example:  The bus I ride now (don't know if it's due to the holiday) is not full.  There are plenty of seats for the people on the line and then some.  But for some reason I always get some passive aggressive motherfucker that sits next to me.  They make noises or angry eye contact because the light from the netbook screen is bothering their nap.  This isn't a hotel on wheels DUMBASS.  When I give them the 'what the FUCK are you looking at' look, they smile submissively.  YEAH YOU NOSEY DUMBASS!

Whiners - at 6:30am I don't want conversation.  SHUT THE FUCK UP!  Bring a book, laptop, MP3 player, vibrator....I don't care what but I am not on the bus to entertain you.

The askers - Man I wish I could just put my foot up the ass of these people.  They go out of their way to bother you and ask questions about shit that has SIGNS posted with answers everywhere, then they go and ask someone else when you give them the answer and point to the signs.  This goes on until the bus arrives.  They should just crawl in a box and wait to be buried - USELESS MOTHERFUCKERS!

The line cutters - these people are lucky there are laws in place to protect their sorry ass.  These are either elderly, foreigner or Americans pretending to be foreigner.  There could be a line of 30 people and they will just SQUEEZE into the line, usually irritating the first 5 people on the line.  Even though they get yelled at to the go to the end of the line, while they walk to the end they repeatedly try to cut the line.  Usually when they reach me I bare my teeth like a rabid raccoon. (Note to self, get something that will make my mouth look like it's foaming....make sure it's tasty).

Talkers - I can't BYTCH about these people enough.  On the phone for the whole 2 hour drive talking about everything under the sun and ALWAYS I mean ALWAYS these people talk about personal shit.  They could be sitting several seats ahead or behind and you can hear them like they are right next to you.  DESPISE THEM!

SNORERS - they got shit for that now.  Tape, plug or stuff your nose.  CRAP!  I don't want to hear noises that vary from someone having diarrhea to a trumpet at a parade.  I nearly DIED of a heart attack with one guy last evening that would purr for a bit then let out a ROAR of a snore.

Man, if there weren't witnesses around.........................

November 22, 2010

Inspiration me...Moon me

I have always appreciated the moon.  In the dark of the night it brightens enough to show you what's out there.  When full and in view it's magnificent sight soothes me.  On a long journey home it give me hope.  That frenemy hope.

You have to wait several weeks before each full moon, yet once that times passes it is there.  You get a treat once a year with a blue moon, when you see a full moon twice in a month.

In the darkest hour of your mind and heart...in the way of hope it gives you a soothing peace.

I would even say that the Moon inspires me.  Many times over.

It reminds me that even when hope betrays hope also provides, it all depends on how you look at it.

Go ahead, peek outside, look up at the lively moon tonight.

Move Along

My dad used to say that you know who your friends were when you saw who visited you at the hospital, call when your child is very sick, stand strong when time weaken you and when you move.

Saturday 7am - the calls began, the excuses I have to admit were pretty unique.  The part that is most disturbing is that these are people that volunteered.  The only person that I knew would not make it in advance is someone that had been sick with the flu.

The trusty family friend was there, my sister, her husband and my nephew who brought along another teenager.  My son who had to work that afternoon was there as well.  Of all my moves and there has been plenty this one ran the smoothest.  Meal time breaks were even just as smooth.

The morning did start with a panic attack and finding out I packed my meds.  But...by the time my sis got there, I just grabbed her hand and she talked me through it.  It was the last attack since that morning.

That first night I slept with a peace and comfort I had not felt in several months.  Sunday morning I began the task of unpacking the boxes that would remain in the house, all else already in storage.  By 4pm 80% if not more was completed.  Another peaceful nights rest.

As I sit in the bus for that long ride I was told several years ago.  'Many people think they have many friends and great family.  But...the reality is few have that.  We have wanderers that slip into and out of our lives and if we're lucky there are a couple to a few that hang around.'  That's a true statement.

I also remembered something else - through thick and thin, my sis and I stand together.  That family friend stood tall beside us and the feeling of love was great.

That song plays in my head, Move Along.  Appropriate to say the least.

November 19, 2010

Inspiration me...Greater picture

Keeping a word I made to myself recently has proved difficult.  I vowed that for every rant I wrote or spoke, I would write or speak two inspirational writings and outweigh the negative.

Tonight...I get home at the latest hour yet, barely anytime for the last of the packing.  In the morning I begin a new journey.  Before a panic attack could sneak in, I just relax.  I turn on the TV, no particular channel, mostly for company and noise.

After a while I realize that the 700 Club is on, I never watch it.  Skeptical to say the least of their motives.  Yet an interview was in play.  Mathew West and his new CD (never heard of him).

He reached out to his fans and asked that they send him their stories.  He had already cut an album that did well in and out of the Christian faith.  An album of his trials and tribulations.  His request he expected would send about a hundred or so of letters, so overwhelmed he rented a cabin and locked himself in with 10,000+ letters.  The result..... his new album - The Story of Your Life.

He spoke of the overwhelming feelings while reading people's stories, 'the good, the bad and the ugly'.

He sang a song that just overwhelmed me.  So beautiful, so powerful, so inspirational that I immediately googled the CD for purchase.  The song?  My own little world, population 1.

That song could not have been more appropriate for me to hear at that moment.

It's not my own little world and it sure isn't population 1 anymore.  But most of all, he asked himself something in the lyrics?  What I have I done for another lately.

Matthew West, I shall not forget that name.  And I anxiously wait for the CD to hear how he took those stories and spun them into song.

A moment of time trapped in an interview from TV.  Yes.....I live for the moments.

November 18, 2010

Inspiration me...resurrection

In my culture we reach a certain age and are taught of a plant.  We call it the Prosperity plant.  The plant when dry balls up, when you water it, it will open up.  The plant itself is a family of the cacti.

I have always had one or more since I was a teenager.  The plant always fascinates me.  When I forget all about the plant (since I store high and out of sight) at times I find that it is balled up and brittle and brown.  I pour some water and it opens up as time goes by a light green can be seen.

At times I feel like this plant.  Forgotten, dried out and balled up, huddled defensively.  Alive yet you wouldn't know it by looking.  Then moments happen.....

A moment of caring, happiness, hope, of planning, change, of feeling alive.  Like water over me; I blossom for that moment/s.  I open up, brighten up, stretch out and live.  Soaking in those moments like water, hoping there will be no drought.  Knowing there will be a drought.

Like that plant I resurrect.  I long for the moment as it does for water and when denied........

Bring me the moments...

November 16, 2010

Inspiration me...Moving along

Moving...that word can bring many images and some scarey.  That word has been in a sentence or a few each day for weeks now when I speak or write.

But what of moving along with situations?

I sat across someone that spoke with a silk tongue.  Each word laced with a sacchrine sweetness.  Before I sat across this person I had already moved along.

You see, I truly believe that there are some people in this world that are best avoided.  The ones that suck the life out of you.  The ones that speak in circles.  The ones that set traps for no reason other than personal enjoyment.

This person was all of the above.  What I have learned in my life thus far is that Karma is real and it bites you in the bum when you least expect it.  Knowing that I sat with the frame of mind that I can not change a person let alone their thoughts.  That nothing would be resolved.  That I will never get those minutes of my life back wasted listening to empty words.

Gloria Steinem said it best 'There are many people trying to meet the right person than become the right person.'

So when I move along from a person, I let them speak their empty words and hold on to none.  I shrug for I know that there are bigger issues to resolve.  I remember that those people remind me what and how not to be.

I think of a past lover that used to tell me 'Si no tiene nada bueno que dicir.....pues no diga nada'  You have nothing good to say....than say nothing.  It is with these people that learn to say nothing.

Inspiration me?  I inspire me - I inspire you to move along.  Life is too short to waste on those that are stuck in time.  Life has too many wonders left to show to allow anyone to take that joy away.

I am inspired to move along........

November 15, 2010

AndMore...Beauty school drop out

Ever had one of those days that you knew would lead you to one of those moments?  The moment where you will either go over the edge completely and open a can of WHOOP ASS or where you will for some dumb reason laugh maniacally about something that no one else sees, hears or understands?

I get to the train station only to find out that I left my phone at work.  I get to the bus station and there are no buses but a lot of people.

Route 3 as usual is backed up, it's now 8pm and my nerves are shot.  I'm tired, I don't feel well and I will get home too late and too tired to finish packing.

I remember that the filter in my water pitcher is long overdue so I stop at the town Walgreen.  There is a woman that is walking down the aisle where the filters are shelved.  She is on the phone and has a carriage plus a purse that Samsonite would envy.

She is at a crawling pace and talking about her daughter 'the good for nothing'.  I finally get to the mid aisle and grab the filter.  I go to the ONLY cashier that is open and there are 7 people on line.  Other clerks are roaming about oblivious to the cashier that is paging them to open other registers.  I begin to count.

As I count I stare at the cashier and am mesmerized.  What a butt ugly female.  Her hair is so greasy it is plastered to her head, the bangs clumped together.  She has one brow and it is the hairiest I have ever seen.  She has a slight shadow of a mustache and chapped lips.  No makeup and shallow eyes that scream 'I haven't slept since birth'.  I used to sell MaryKay and I took classes on cosmetology so I would know what the heck I was doing when selling the products.  I kept thinking, if I could I would......

Throw her into a tub with antibacterial and hire someone to bathe her.  I would have them use a rake on her hair to get those clumps of dirt out.  I would then take a lawn mower and divide that brow, hire the best waxer and have them torment her until there was a shape.  Then I would apply some makeup on her face and shalaque it so it is permanent.  Why someone would be so negligent with themselves is beyond me.

By the time I had completed that visual I was the next person to reach her.  I thought to myself that I was mean, how could I think all those things about someone I did not know.  The person ahead of me takes out a rubber banded stack of coupons.  ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?????

It takes forever and I lost count.  I start to think that maybe I would just lie to the cashier and tell her she won a trip to the zoo and drop her off the nearest MaryKay seminar.  Those things are a whack, but you leave fully made over.

I am next and I look at her pin to see her name and I lost it.  Completely LOST IT.  I am laughing so hard that tears roll down both cheeks, my legs are in a pretzel twist and I am really close to the age old Pee Pee dance.  The people behind me are either smiling, grinning or considering dialing for help.  I laugh so much that I took the filter and stepped off the line.

After a long period and a few customers I get back on the line and the cashier is smiling. 'What is so funny?'  I lose it again.  I leave the filter and walk out.

An elderly woman was waiting outside that had left earlier, she asked 'Are you alright?'  So I tell her about my day, than of my thoughts, she interrupted 'that's not a nice thing to think of someone.'

I asked that hag 'Did you look at her name tag?'  She said 'As a matter of fact I did, her name is XYZ, a very nice young lady.'

I said 'Below her name, it says Beauty Advisor.'

It took a few minutes, but the hag just busted a gut.  As I drove off, I looked in the rear view mirror to see that the hag was still by the door laughing and unless I was imagining, I would swear she was doing the Pee Pee dance.

AndMore...That steak screamed

A while ago I wrote about finding a restaurant where I could go and have a nice steak dinner.  I occasionally go carrying a good book and some me time.

This weekend a family friend and her mother came over to help me pack.  I wanted to treat them to dinner as a thank you.  And of course the fact that I was salivating for that petite sirloin had a pinch to do with it also.

Throughout the packing I kept bragging about the steak, the service and anything else that consisted of that restaurant.

We finished (for the most part) the packing.  Now the 'mom' was in the hospital for a few days and this was her first 'outting' since then.  I didn't care!  I wanted that damn steak and if she can go to my place and 'supervise' us packing she can extend herself to going to a restaurant.  (Avoiding the tired look in her eyes was easier then I thought).

Her daughter apparently cared less than I did.  (And people thought there was only one of me out there).

We get to the mall where the restaurant is nestled at a corner of the food court.  To save on trying to figure out who is who, let's call her Mom......oh I don't know......Mom!  And her daughter.......the daughter.  I will continue to be................me.

Mom is claustrophobic (I can relate), so when we walk into the restaurant and realize there is a wait, she is fussing about.  I find a spot where there is space to my left and right (she is basically on her own).  The daughter pretty much couldn't care less if Mom and I had an epileptic attack, she found herself a corner and was happy with it.  Hate non claustrophobic people!

As we wait, I notice that the section I normally sit at and where the two weekend waiters that are worth their salt work in, was busy and those FUCKERS didn't look like they were leaving any time soon.

It really wasn't all that long a wait, or perhaps the fat fuck guy that kept staring at my tits while ignoring his whiny wife distracted me from the time.

A very young walker (They are called hosts, but this BYTCH was anything but), came by and said 'FOLLOW ME'.  Well if I had a battery up my ass or a skate board I might have been able to.  She all but did an Olympic run to the table.  She planted menus and left, straight to the waiting ears of a waiter (now I admit he was looker).

Orders:  A Phantom waitress comes over with pen and notebook in hand and we order:  Fire wings to share, I get wine, the daughter ETERNAL WUSS gets water and her mother gets.................Oh Fuck what did she get?......a glass of something.

20 minutes later our drinks arrive, I ask the 'phanton' if the appetizer was ordered she said yes.  I was already peeved that she did not bring the customary bread (a well seasoned biscuit that comes close to the Red Lobster one, they advertise all you can eat, but in reality they bring one for each customer), this BYTCH brought none.  But these are family friends and I don't want them to see that 'other' Gracey.

Meal order:  Me - Petite Sirloin, medium well, grilled asparagus, white cheddar mashed potatoes.  The daughter ordered the same only she wanted her animal dead and re killed (well done), Mom ordered a pasta dish.

The wings come out.  We have no utensils and not enough plates to go around (WTF????), I ask for utensils and napkins.  The 'phantom' who is not the disappears after we placed the meal order (probably getting laid because the looker was missing also), we inherited a new waiter that fumbled about.  He says his scripted apologies and runs off SUPPOSING LY to get the utensils and napkins.  He also disappeared into the abyss.

The fury begins:  I used a napkin instead of a plate to eat now cold wings.  Food arrived and both steaks gave a scream when poked.  The blood flowed to the mashed potatoes turning them into a Hello Kitty pink.

The Phantom was no where to be found.  My caution for the other two were unfounded.  The daughter began a rant on the Manager like a terrier on an ass.  I cut in because my OCD does not allow a complaint to be said without structure.

The Phantom waitress barely showed herself, no utensils, the steaks were MOOOOOING, no plates.  The daughter had a back up chorus going on 'Service sucks'.

End result:  I didn't have to pay for the 5 ounces of wine I drank, the cold wings or Mom's dinner (which was pretty good).

End result:  Mom was terrified after seeing us foaming at the mouth.

End result:  We got gift certificates for another trip.

End result:  All that salivating and I ended up with a Subway tuna sandwich.

End result:  Customer Service in this world SUCKS!

End result:  The daughter is crazier than I am.

Final End result:  Cooks should be just that COOKS, as I stated in my letter to the Corporate office.  Waitresses should be just that waitresses, also in the letter.  Animals should be dead long before landing on the plate, yep, on the letter too.

With the way I suffer for food it amazes me I have the size ass I do!

November 13, 2010

Inspiration me....panic

I developed panic attacks a couple of years ago, when I lived with a psycho and worked for another one.  At first I thought I was having a heart attack, then I hoped I was having a heart attack.

The pain unbearable.  The hyper breathing adding to it.  The cold sweats and the sheer panic....horrible.

For the past several months I had not had them until one night a brick fell on my reality.  Then more bricks on other realities.  The insomnia I had not felt crept back with a vengeance.

As I pack to move feeling that familiar feeling of not knowing a home.  Of not knowing where I belong.  I felt the cold sweat, the heavy breathing, the pain.  I stop packing and I sit.  This is one of those times where I would write to my friend, write out the pain, the fears, the insecurities.  But I can't, not anymore.  So....the pain increases, the breathing more labored and I then hold onto to my chest.

Then I just cry and as fast as I start...I stop.  There is no time for tears.  I take deep breaths over and over.  I chant my mantra.  I pray for God to give me strength.

Inspire me...someone...anyone....then I hear my father's voice.  I miss that man so much.  "Kiddo, you're stronger then you think."

He had such belief in me like no other.  I grabbed the first book I saw that wasn't packed.  Good ole Jessica Shepherd.

'As you are generous with your truth, the truth will be generous with you.'  Yes...the truth is, I am stronger then I believe.

I breathe easier.  I feel less pain.  The room no longer spins.  'Thanks Dad.'

I wait for the family friend that will arrive to help with the last of the packing and I am grateful that panic attack is passing.  I am grateful for more than that.

November 11, 2010

Inspiration me.....Veterans Day

To all Veterans....I appreciate you!

I also appreciate that you remind me of some things.......like........

No matter how bad I may think a job, boss, commute or co-workers in my lifetime - it would be nothing in comparison to your job.

On the worst day our boss doesn't send us to the front line.
On our worst day we can quit and not face court martial.
When we bid goodnight to one another it is not with the fear that it may be our last farewell.
On the worst traffic day we still don't have to worry about mine fields.
We can say no to our boss and the worst may be insubordination - not lock up.
Our storms are rain, hail and snow......not bullets and missiles.
Getting along with one another is a choice not a life and death necessity.
I have no issue with putting foot to ass for my country, but the most fighting I have to do is in explaining some of my actions and words.  Not a daily war in a distant land under command.
We always know why we are told to do something, are at least in my job prepared for the consequences which are not fatal, our religious belief intact, our morals intact and with no call to harm another.
We willingly enter employment and leave.  You willingly enter and must stay your term.

I appreciate you.  For defending our country - our lives, whether you are given the reason or not.  I appreciate your fallen co-workers, the bosses that must live with their commands.  I appreciate each and every Veteran and active man and woman each and every day I have the liberty to work the way I do.

2010©Gracey Castro

November 10, 2010

Inspiration me....being positive

Since my house burned down I now have a better view of the rising sun. ~Mather Fox

How positive is that?  VERY!  If you're sadistic enough it even has a hint of humor.

How positive can one be when........

More and more people you know are still losing jobs
You watch or hear of poor treatment
You struggle to make ends meet
You struggle to get from one point to another
More and more people are meaner and selfish

Well.....When you start to get more and more panic attacks because you are losing time and can't pack quick enough.  A knock on the door and a friend is there, boxes in hand, tape too and an entire Saturday is spent packing.

Well.....You need something critically and a friend hands you what you need to get it.  In more ways then one you are saved.

Well....One door broken as it is closes and someone opens another wide.  Makes room for you and allows you to get back on your feet.

Well....You learn to accept that not all will listen and watch less of their poor treatment.  Pray that either they will grow strong or the predator weaker.

Well....You purchase an MP3 player and load some of your favorite songs and just sit out the commute accepting that which you can not control.

Well...You push out the ones that are mean and selfish and allow in those that aren't or at the very least balance it out.

I wouldn't want to wait until a home was burned to see the rising sun.  I would want to build a lovely spot on the roof to sit and watch it (with strong sprinklers around the house).

Inspiration me....a new beginning

Well...I have released tons that has been festering.  All the while preparing.  Cleaning out and within.  As I get closer to the time where great change is coming, I prepare for the inner change.

The positive begins today.  And....as I struggle to keep in front and center, I shall be writing along the way.

Mantras - I wrote 3 of them to be spoken daily and in 30 days will revisit where my inner self stands.

Just breathe - Not so much a mantra but a practice to keep myself focused.

The cards are dealt - The Queen may have mocked me but the Paige smiles his hope.

The planets aligned - If Venus won't wink, I shall take the twinkle of a star instead.

My surrounding - I would say I would surround myself with the positive, but I already have.  Like I said, I have been preparing.

"My karma ran over your dogma". ~Author Unknown  Yep, it sure did.

“Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.” ~Maria Robinson quotes

Maria.....those are some warming words........

November 09, 2010

Inspiration me...songless

"When the songs of your heart start ringing, you should gratefully listen...for the harmony is that which will bring you happiness and the melody is the voice of your true spirit." ~Author Unknown

It has been such a long time since my heart sang a tune that I can't remember the year, the season or even where I was living.  I do however remember what it felt like when my heart would sing.  I remember the bolt of electricity that would just send my body dancing to it's beat.

I remember that when I loved I sang songs of old.  When I was happy I sang tunes of the 60s.  When I was relaxed my heart whistled melody's without words.  I remember my head held high and always seeing the sky.

I always gratefully listened to my heart sing.  My spirit then was loud and full of energy.....

Now when I love I hear only the sirens of warning.  When I want to dance I haven't a tune to follow.  Numbness leaves no current to electrify me.

"Courage is fear that has said its prayers." Author Unknown

I have as of late seen a fierce courage within me that I long lost.  I have taken stands, opened doors, closed others.  I have remembered my mantras; point of no return, faith in heart - faith in life, goodness shall come.

It is not a song I hear, rather a distant drum.  But I hear it none the less.  My heart....it longs to dance.

November 08, 2010

Bytch fest

I was called a hater.  So let me do some HATING!

Let's list the type of USELESS people there are out there:

The I'm so important I'm going to annoy you person - this person pretends that their life is so important they cut lines, push their way through, talk on the phone to staff and berate them and just when you think you had enough of them in a confined bus, their phone rings with the most annoying high pitch tone.

The I have an answer for everything person - this asswipe never lets you finish talking, with the first three words you say they are either; correcting your grammar, giving senseless advise, a history lesson or anything that can put you in a COMA.

The woe is me person - this friendless motherfucker asks you how you are.  It's a TRAP! They cut you off just to tell you about their pain, misery, love life, lack of love life, colonoscopy appointment or their dead parents tormenting way of raising kids.

The I know so much NASA should hire me person - This SOUND OFF jackass will turn any simple conversation into Einsteins' formula.  And get it wrong every fucking time.

The victim - this is the person you love to beat the crap out of.  Always starts with your sympathizing with them until you realize that they are professional victims.  This trap is a hard one.  You just don't see it coming....EVER!

The predator - this psychopath circles your life like a shark, while smiling like an alligator and smelling like an Angel.  You might as well hand over your check, life, spouse, job and heart.  They will get it anyway.

The joker - this person will turn any conversation into a joke.  Usually these people have a lot to hide, no inner humor and are just mocking you.  I can relate to this type.

The planner - HATE THESE MOTHERFUCKERS!  They plan EVERYTHING.  Oh my GOD - don't even think about swaying from the plan they will have a MELT DOWN.  These people are the ones that FUCK everyone elses schedule up.

The debater - I could just SHOOT these people like a duck hunt.  They just want to debate so they can sound like they know shit and they always DON'T.  HATES THESE MOTHERFUCKERS TOO!
If I could have a planner and a debater in a room with a clause that says anything goes, I would beat the living SHIT out of them.  Get your finger out of your ass and get a thought!!!!!

The I am a friend to everyone - gotta love these twisted assholes.  They make nice to get info, they then twist that info and share it with everyone then they blame everyone else.  Put these FUCKERS in the room too!

The show stoppers - Ok.....these people I would love to put in a room with PETA, BUT, the PETA people would have to be blinded and convinced that they will be in a room with fur wearing people.  Show Stoppers are the ones that browse and shop the Internet all day, ironically these people usually make the most money and are always broke.  They are always dressed to the NINES, they will tell you the brand name, cost, date and time of purchase as well as use a tone that screams I'M BETTER THAN YOU.  These over dressed DUMBASSES never have a clue.  Don't believe me?? Ask any one of them for a current event news bulletin.  You know what?  Just ask them who the vice president is.

Commenter's - anonymous ones - HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE THESE MOTHERFUCKERS!!!!  What PUSSY would go on-line to news, blogs or anything where one could leave an anonymous comment and rant off?  Commenter's that's who.  And those are the ones that leave racist, political banter and hate filled comments.  Their IP should be tracked and someone should take their PC or laptop and SHOVE IT UP THEIR ASS!!!!

Yep, useless people.  HATE them!  Bytch fest over.................................................for tonight.

November 07, 2010

Inspiration me....I am my Zodiac

Most people think they know me.  I've yet met someone that really does.  I know none understand me.  Most don't know that I love astrology.  I have studied it for many years taking refresher courses every few years.  I am fascinated with how the stars don't lie, don't change and can tell me of someone as if I were gazing into their soul.

I am a Libra.  (the seventh sign of the zodiac, represented by a pair of scales and lasting from approximately September 23 to October 22. Libra is classified as an air sign and its ruling planet is Venus)  Diplomatic and urbane, Romantic and charming, Easygoing and sociable, Idealistic and peaceable like the scales Libra's are also the complete opposite of that description.

Most don't know that:
When I love - I love with all my heart
When I despise - I despise with all my heart

I was speaking with a friend who has known my family for many years.  We spoke of the time when I was very religious.  Born again Christian and always in fear.  I would worry and weep for family and friends because they were going to hell for not believing what I was taught to believe.  My mother worried even more for me through those years.  When my son was born, I nursed him in the hospital while watching the news of our war with Kuwait.  I remember thinking 'Lord, what have I done?  How could I bring a child into 'this' world?'  I believed with all my heart.  But......I am my Zodiac.....I questioned all the time.

I questioned about all that religion taught.  I am my Zodiac.  When I gave up religion I gave it up with all my heart.  Yet.....I was closer to God.  What failed in religion succeeded in Spirituality.

I have had friendships that soared.  I am my Zodiac, when they failed, they crashed and burned.

I have spent decades trying to keep a family together.  I am my Zodiac, when the scale kept tipping I accepted what could not be.

I seek balance all the time.  I am my Zodiac.  I seek peace and try to with a vengeance but when peace I can not find I wear my suit of war just as comfortably.  I am most truly my Zodiac.

Most don't know I have the most intense curious nature.  I could put a cat to shame.  I am my Zodiac, when curiosity gets the best of me I will with as much intensity shut down, steer away and not look back.

Most people don't know that I despise the word maybe.  Yes or No, it's just that simple.  The scale only has two for balance.  I despise bullies and being pressured.  I am my Zodiac, I will understand there is no balance in that and will fight it.

Most people don't take the time to know that when I inspire myself I am my Zodiac, I inspired because I lacked it.  The stars are loyal.  The same friendship I had with them decades ago I have with them today.

I won't talk about politics or several other topics.  I am most passionate about them however, I am my Zodiac, I am diplomatic and when the scales tip, I am tactless.

Most don't know that I weep as much as I laugh.  I am my Zodiac, I will find a way to balance it out.

That is me...I am my Zodiac...a daily attempt to balance the scales.

November 02, 2010

AndMore...I need to give up the news, commercial, previews and cabs...FAST


There are times in my life when insomnia takes over, lately is such a time.  So....I watch the news.

Two women are talking about how they DON'T bathe!  I KID YOU NOT.  Smelly Mother F'KERS standing in front of a news reporter trying to tell the public, bathing is not required.  One goes about 3 days without and brags about how much water she is saving.  REALLY?  REALLY??
The other also said she has never used deodorant!  WHAT THE F*&K is happening to this world????

She said and I quote 'I had (key word HAD) intimate moments and never had (there goes that word again) a problem'.  Well you F*&KING SKANK if you bathed your AZZ you would be saying I HAVE.  What man wants to tap some dirty cooch?  Would have to be one with a matching dirty package!

Now I know what that smell in SoHo is.  Nasty AZZ non bathing BYTCHES!!!!

Cialis - you know......commercials give the side effects in a fast forward but when the same commercial plays over and over it's like devil music, you stop hearing the song and you hear the message.  Same with commercials.  After a while the Cialis one was a lot clearer.  Side effects may include headache, facial flushing, indigestion, nasal congestion, muscle pain, pain in the arms and legs.  WHAT THE F*&K?????

So.....in order to get laid when little good fellow doesn't stand at attention anymore you must take a pill that will give you a headache while blushing, make you fart, throws out your back while making you sound like Fran Drescher then leaves you like a cripple with lepers??????  How F*&KING romantic is THAT???  This is why Adult Toy stores will NEVER go out of business or the Energizer Bunny.


I don't know the name of the show, but it consists of a 'panel' of Dr.'s, a bunch of Doogie Howser look alike that tell you SHYT you should already know.  This preview tells you not to miss your chance to hear all the answers to the questions you have about why men and women are different.  REALLY???  REALLY???  You can't just do your job and save lives???  One: topic mentioned just got my Rican going.....
What really goes on down there (men) - I don't need to see the show, men SHIFT.  It just happens, goes along with scratching the ass.  I'm not a man but I can say this.  God knew what he was doing in making me a woman.  There is no way I would have a pecker and leave it alone.  I would worry to no end that if I left it to one side it would stay bent or flat.  I would hate to find out that because it stayed in a corner on a hot day it wilted.  I would shift that bytch every FIVE minutes.  'E Q Mi, I will fix your phone in a minute, I have to shift.'  And don't even get me started about putting it in something.....THAT'S when I 'would' need a panel of Dr.'s.  Check that cooch, I don't want my pecker falling off like if I drank Cialis.  How about asking a panel of Dr.'s about the Buddies, what cruel joke was that creation.  I would be tea bagging those things into moisturizer until all the wrinkles came out like Joan Rivers!!!!

We're different because one is man and one is woman.  Built different, look different, smell different, emotions are different - hell that's why one has Estrogen and the other Testosterone.  What the F*&K kind of stupid as segment is that????  Really???? REALLY???? That's important right now????  Who wants them the same?? Not ME!  I would just BYTCH SLAP some WUSS that cried at a drop of a hat.  That's MY JOB!  I don't want to shift!!!  Just leave things alone.  We're different!  No one hour show about it.  ONE PARAGRAPH tells you why!!!!

I figured now that I was pissed I would just force myself to sleep.       (a few short hours later).......

So.....I get up to take the commute from hell.  This particular morning there is an accident and of course NJ finest must close more lanes then needed.  Add 2 hours to my trip and I get to NY, already late I choose to take a cab.  One is RIGHT there, almost with my name on it.

NY finest pulls over the cab.  Now Habib seemed nice enough but these days you can't be too careless.  So I open the door thinking to myself 'I gotta get my Rican ass out of here before something blows, gets shot or something else.'  The Cop slams the door closed 'Mam, you need to stay in the cab.'  I tell her 'No, I need to get out and RUN, you stay and do what you gotta do.' She smiles and says 'there's no danger, this is a traffic stop and he is getting a ticket.'

Habib, probably accustomed to being stopped, grabs his paperwork mumbling to himself, to which he received a scolding for.  She tells him that this will only take a minute, she then walks to the other FOUR cabs that were pulled over as well to tell them the same.

Habib:  25 years I drive cab, they never stop you before, you can't make left.
Me:  Why don't they let me out of the cab?
Habib:  Meter.  Meter must off while ticket so you can't leave until meter on.
Me:  Tell me about these stops.
Habib:  All the time, they stop.  I sick of this shyt.
Me:  Why don't you cabbies stand together and fight the tickets, one voice, UNION.
Habib: No Union, just us, no one voice.
Cop: What's going on here.
Me:  Well, I was telling Habib here how he should band together and fight this nonsense, heck if I can I would gather all the riders and make one voice..
Habib:  No lady, shhhhh
Me:  One voice, this is insane
Cop:  Mam, stay in the car...silent please.  Mr. Habib, BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH
Me:  Habib, don't listen, you just get a ticket and fight it and tell the judge they made a passenger wait
Cop:  Mr. Habib step out of the car
Habib:  Lady pleeeeeease stop talking
Me:  (swing of the head......mumbling.....DUMBASS, try to help....)

We finally get to leave, Habib BYTCHES all the way, I tip him really well, he stares at the money and says 'I say bless to you'
Me:  Thanks
Habib: No, I say now
Me:  Welll make it quick, I'm already really late!  Religions!!!!!!!
Habib:  *&^*&^*&^*&^*&

You know, I thought of that you tube where the tourist were married and didn't know the translation of the person reciting the vows was really bad mouthing them.  I looked at Habib......NAH!

To summarize.......Commuting sucks, Cabbies hate each other, New Yorkers smell, getting laid can get your pecker lopped off and Dr.'s don't know shyt.

Somethings gotta give............