Ever had one of those days that you knew would lead you to one of those moments? The moment where you will either go over the edge completely and open a can of WHOOP ASS or where you will for some dumb reason laugh maniacally about something that no one else sees, hears or understands?
I get to the train station only to find out that I left my phone at work. I get to the bus station and there are no buses but a lot of people.
Route 3 as usual is backed up, it's now 8pm and my nerves are shot. I'm tired, I don't feel well and I will get home too late and too tired to finish packing.
I remember that the filter in my water pitcher is long overdue so I stop at the town Walgreen. There is a woman that is walking down the aisle where the filters are shelved. She is on the phone and has a carriage plus a purse that Samsonite would envy.
She is at a crawling pace and talking about her daughter 'the good for nothing'. I finally get to the mid aisle and grab the filter. I go to the ONLY cashier that is open and there are 7 people on line. Other clerks are roaming about oblivious to the cashier that is paging them to open other registers. I begin to count.
As I count I stare at the cashier and am mesmerized. What a butt ugly female. Her hair is so greasy it is plastered to her head, the bangs clumped together. She has one brow and it is the hairiest I have ever seen. She has a slight shadow of a mustache and chapped lips. No makeup and shallow eyes that scream 'I haven't slept since birth'. I used to sell MaryKay and I took classes on cosmetology so I would know what the heck I was doing when selling the products. I kept thinking, if I could I would......
Throw her into a tub with antibacterial and hire someone to bathe her. I would have them use a rake on her hair to get those clumps of dirt out. I would then take a lawn mower and divide that brow, hire the best waxer and have them torment her until there was a shape. Then I would apply some makeup on her face and shalaque it so it is permanent. Why someone would be so negligent with themselves is beyond me.
By the time I had completed that visual I was the next person to reach her. I thought to myself that I was mean, how could I think all those things about someone I did not know. The person ahead of me takes out a rubber banded stack of coupons. ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?????
It takes forever and I lost count. I start to think that maybe I would just lie to the cashier and tell her she won a trip to the zoo and drop her off the nearest MaryKay seminar. Those things are a whack, but you leave fully made over.
I am next and I look at her pin to see her name and I lost it. Completely LOST IT. I am laughing so hard that tears roll down both cheeks, my legs are in a pretzel twist and I am really close to the age old Pee Pee dance. The people behind me are either smiling, grinning or considering dialing for help. I laugh so much that I took the filter and stepped off the line.
After a long period and a few customers I get back on the line and the cashier is smiling. 'What is so funny?' I lose it again. I leave the filter and walk out.
An elderly woman was waiting outside that had left earlier, she asked 'Are you alright?' So I tell her about my day, than of my thoughts, she interrupted 'that's not a nice thing to think of someone.'
I asked that hag 'Did you look at her name tag?' She said 'As a matter of fact I did, her name is XYZ, a very nice young lady.'
I said 'Below her name, it says Beauty Advisor.'
It took a few minutes, but the hag just busted a gut. As I drove off, I looked in the rear view mirror to see that the hag was still by the door laughing and unless I was imagining, I would swear she was doing the Pee Pee dance.
I love October, not just because it is my birthday month but because the air changes, the season changes, the time changes.
It is when we must embrace the fact that the time change will have us seeing the dark sooner. A time when the trees begin to let loose the leaves, orange, brown and yellow leaves flying about.
It is the time when the ghouls and horrors are seen in decorations, shows, movies and parties.
It is the time when we say farewell to the summer heat, smile toward the cooler weather and wonder of the winter to come.
Happy October! May there be light within you to shine upon the earlier darker hours. May the ghouls and gremlins that ring the door bell make you smile and partake in trick or treat.
May you embrace the change in season knowing... it will bring us back to Spring soon enough.
I have added a tab - Whisper my words, which is a link to my site where I post stories, poems, AndMore events and the Watcher's Journal. Take a peek and enjoy.