Hello Everyone,

October 2015

I love October, not just because it is my birthday month but because the air changes, the season changes, the time changes.

It is when we must embrace the fact that the time change will have us seeing the dark sooner. A time when the trees begin to let loose the leaves, orange, brown and yellow leaves flying about.

It is the time when the ghouls and horrors are seen in decorations, shows, movies and parties.

It is the time when we say farewell to the summer heat, smile toward the cooler weather and wonder of the winter to come.

Happy October! May there be light within you to shine upon the earlier darker hours. May the ghouls and gremlins that ring the door bell make you smile and partake in trick or treat.

May you embrace the change in season knowing... it will bring us back to Spring soon enough.

I have added a tab - Whisper my words, which is a link to my site where I post stories, poems, AndMore events and the Watcher's Journal. Take a peek and enjoy.



July 22, 2011

Army Strong!!! Parent Strong?

I knew I did not want to be home tonight. I did not know why, just that the need to be anywhere but home was strong.  The hours away were too few, I felt it as I drove home. Killing time is like watching boiling water that literally boils quick and defies the old adage.

I walk slowly, even though it's late, I dread walking in.  I don't know why, I just know that I do.

I see the mail and a letter sticks out USARB, I already know what it stands for.  Ask me a few weeks ago and I would have Google the acronym.

I take the letter upstairs, I sit and stare at it. Not wanting to open it, knowing I had to open it.

The kaleidoscope of the past few weeks goes before my eyes.  So many thoughts pass quickly.  Always at times like this I look left, I look right and there is no one, why is that when I need a hug the most?.  Today....tonight....I am used to it and have realized I now appreciate it.

I open the letter and the reality of the officialism of my son now in the army hits me.  Wave upon wave of sobs.  I barely get to the second paragraph when I have to put it down and just cry it out.

My only child.  Just when I thought we could bond he makes a decision that separates us further.  I have always said that the boy I tracked and found when he ran away those years ago was a different boy.  I never really found the son I knew.  The years have not lessened that pain.  This letter just made it worse.

If at any time in my life I felt alone, truly I was wrong for tonight I know what alone is.  I know the core of it.

'As a proud parent of a Future Soldier'.  I am a proud parent....of my son.  'You are now a part of an exceptional team.  That part angered me.  What team?  There wasn't a team that I saw or heard from.

'if your son ships to training quickly'....if?????

I was thanked for my commitment and support to my country.  Perhaps one day I will understand that.  As a parent it seems so impersonal, after all they are getting my son and doing what they wish with him.

I am a proud American; always have been.  I can't see myself living anywhere (unless Palin was made President). I just can't seem to embrace this.  I just can't, I hope I do, but I can't.  I am torn between the pride of a mother for a son that has finally made a decision on his life, however was this decision his?

I'm glad it says Army Strong, because right now I am anything but.  Right now I wish I had not come home and seen the mail.  Reality no matter how you prepare, still has a way of surprising you.  Reality strong is more like it.

I don't feel strong enough to breathe let alone accept this or pretty much anything else right now.  I do accept one thing...  I'm not looking left or right anymore, I look up.  Grant me the strength to get through this. To stop crying at the sound or vision of the word Army.

Grant me to be Parent Strong.