One can not imagine all the crap that tortures my mind. I shall make a list:
Why Law & Order UK is not recording on the Tivo crap thing
Will Sookie and Eric get it on?
My morbid thoughts as of late
How many calories did that Mocha Caramel Frapuccino have?
Does the liquid body wash really smell like Lysol or is it me?
Oh….and there’s more, but I want to get to the meat of the story….
I loaded some music on my Phone/Mp3. Windows Mobile GPS sucks but the MP3 ROCKS! I am taking my mind off of the ‘list’ and walking with a groove. Ne-Yo, Pit Bull, J-Ho and the likes. I get on the path and I get off the wrong stop….It’s OK because I am not thinking of death, I am not thinking of economy or commute or why HBO didn’t keep to the book and have Eric run naked through the woods. I get on the next path and arrive at NY. I am really getting the groove – FERGIE, London Bridge (Oh yeah baby, there was some serious ass shaking going on).
Subway – I walk (well maybe dance) my way to the turnstiles and it doesn’t move. I try again and it’s stuck. I go to another one, then another and another. I notice people are staring, they are not moving in this rush hour. I try another. NOTHING! I pull the ear plugs out and the Rican in me gets out. MOTHER FUCKER! They raise the prices! Lay off People and they can’t even grease these FUCKING TURN STILES. I start beating one with my bag when an MTA token booth clerk speaks behind me ‘Ma’ am? Please stop beating MTA property.’
MTA Property? Are you FUCKING KIDDING ME? IT doesn’t WORK. LOOK. I slam myself into the turn stile.
He smiles…’I thought you were the worst toll evader I had eever seen, but you’re just CRAZY. YOU…MUST…PAY…TOLL’ and with that he points to where one would normally swipe the metro card.
For some reason I thought today it was free! I smiled, took a little bow (hopefully the nosey motherfuckers watching would think it was one of those NY stunts) and I swipe the card and RUN to the stairs that will take me to the train.
I sit and realize what is playing from my MP3, ear plugs dangling over my shoulder….KE$SHA – This place about to BLOOOOOWW!
And that folks covers my morning. Early morning. I fear the rest of the day.