You sit and write of all the optimism you can think of.  Poetry, spirituality and even when the moment strikes emotionally.  You hit send and give many a moment of peace, all the while yearning for some.

I know the words that make sense.  Time heal all wounds.  Love and be loved.  Forgive and forget. There is always worse.  Brighter days are to come.

I know the scriptures that would apply.  Psalm 34:19 "Many are the afflictions of the righteous, but the LORD delivers him out of them all."  Romans 12:10 "Love one another with brotherly affection [as members of one family], giving precedence and showing honor to one another."  Hebrews 8:12 "For I will be merciful and gracious toward their sins and I will remember their deeds of unrighteousness no more."  Have faith and so on.

I know that belief is the power and seed that make things come to life.  But....there are those days and some lengthier then not that make me feel otherwise.

I write of healing yet know first hand that some wounds fester regardless of how you treat it.  I write of love.  Yet barely receive it.  I forgive yet watch the person/s do it all over again only worse each time.  There may always be worse but must I see first hand daily?  Brighter days may be coming, but surely these clouds are not moving.

Perhaps it's time I put the pen and ink down.  After all if you are writing of what should be and yet losing the belief in it, you may as well write in invisible ink.

Perhaps it's time to walk away.  From literally everyone.  After all, if all you have left is a small patch of flesh, a mere bit of heart and depleted soul, do you really have anything left to offer?

Perhaps it's time I became the reader of another writer.  After all, one can not write if they've forgotten how to read.

Perhaps in all this agony, loneliness, pain and misery there is a writer or a person who can either speak or hug the pain away will magically appear and give that old adage a mother tells a child 'there there now, all will be right".  And those words or hug will be the wattage that turns on my darkened belief.

~05/09/2010   ~g