l know I have written about people and my observations, but......, today takes the cake.
I still have a nasty cough, the bright side is that whatever cold I have in my chest is finally breaking up, hence more coughing. I got to the Port Authority earlier than usual and so I was on the line before 6. The line was not too long, just long enough to make it on that bus, no seats but standing room. I was in between two men, the one in front wearing a suit.
I miss chivalry, I did not burn my bra. I want men to open doors for me, stand until I am seated and offer up their seat. But I reluctantly accept our modern days.
All was well, barely any traffic, the bus was already out of the tunnel by 6:10, which meant my butt would be home by 6:40 the latest. YEAH!!! Route 3 was ahead and the bus was just flying. The air conditioner was on high, and my face was next to the filter system which is in the middle of the bus to the overhead. As short as I am, the filter was still blasting on my forehead.
All of a sudden I felt something tickle obsessively in my throat and what began as a slight cough, turned into a maniacal one that left me barely able to breath.
No one in that bus even looked at me. The man in front was bothered of the cough and how close I was, the one behind me was leaning back into the woman behind him. You would think I developed a sudden sign on me that said Under Quarantine.
I shakily went for the bottle of water I had in my tote. The speed of the bus made it nearly impossible. In order to hold on to the barely there rails on top, I had to trap the tote between my feet. I finally managed to grab it but by this point I was breathing in, while coughing, but nothing was going outward, I was coughing inwardly and it was hurting like hell. I could feel myself begin to panic. I literally could not breath. I still for some insane reason took a swig of the water. And choked. I was pounding my own chest. No one moved or looked.
The first stop was approaching, which is literally on Route 3. The 3 men standing in front, luckily were getting off and I was pushing myself to get off the bus. Gagging and coughing out and yet struggling now to breath in. I jumped off, my tote flying and in that little island piece of concrete, began to throw up, all the water I had been sipping since leaving work. Still not breathing. I landed on my knees and slowly tried to calm down. Forcing air in like someone that struggled in the ocean to reach the top and finally getting there with no oxygen to spare.
It took some time to actually begin to breathe. After a while, I tried to get up on what now was wobbly knees. Turned around to see the bus was gone and no one was around.
STUNNED. One could literally DIE and people don't give a shit. I collected the tote and all that fell out, coughing consistently but able to breathe.
An hour or so later another bus that takes me home stopped by. Even in that time, the coughing did not subside. I chewed some gum praying I wouldn't choke on it. Closed my eyes and before I knew it I was home.
8:10. So much for getting home at a decent hour. Amazingly, I feel better now. Still coughing but not so consistently. I managed to lose my voice again after gaining it back for a short time.
People - I just struggle with my faith with humanity. People, most especially commuters are a hard lot. Emotionless unless it's anger, scrupul-less and without a care for anything but getting home.
I don't know why I got this job, what lesson in life I am to learn from it. I try to see, so that I can move on as I am a firm believer that we are trapped in situations until we learn from it. But, I can't possible learn from this, if I do, I fear becoming like them.
07/14/2010
~g
No comments:
Post a Comment