I usually write AndMore stories and end it with a list of things I learned. I shall try something new and start with the things I learned....
I learned that.....
I walked the 10 NYC blocks to the train station only to find once I got there that I left my train tickets at work. It was hot as hell, temperature in the 90s, I was exhausted since early morning and work had let us out a little early to beat holiday traffic. I walked back and that 20 block walk took what was left of my energy. The weeks of dizziness was nothing compared to the spinning world as I marched back. I drank 2 bottles of water once I got back to work and walked back to the train station. 30 blocks later I was on my first of 3 trains and I just wanted to lay down and die. I kept saying to myself 'you have to get home'. I finally did even through mad holiday travelers since I was now in the midst of peak hour.
I learned that.....
- No matter how hot it is and how tired you are you still have to get home
- Even when people don't wish you the best, you can still wish it for yourself
- Prayers are said for you even from a stranger
- It is when in pain and exhausted that you must smile and show strength
I got home and stood in a cold shower until I was no longer numb and now feeling massive pain. Sleep would do me well. No matter how hot it is and how tired you are you still have to get home.
Some serious changes need to occur in my life. For the greatest reason of all, survival. It is amazing how few would wish you well and how many would out right wish you anything but. It is disheartening to say the least. I learned long ago to even wish well to those that don't even deserve it. I am diligent in wishing and praying for those I believe that do. Not that I need well wishing, it is just nice to hear and know. Even when people don't wish you the best, you can still wish it for yourself.
I mentioned to someone that I had set a major goal for myself, knowing they are a fervent person of prayer, I asked them to add me in their thoughts. They instead immediately called their church which have a band of prayers (people that take turns to pray around the clock for 30 days for other people). Imagine that! They fervently pray for strangers. Yes, prayers are said for you even from a stranger.
It doesn't end... a fall during a snow storm has left my knee in despair. I am still paying for the medical cost not covered from 2 years ago, so the operation to help must wait. A route canal that required surgery, the cost of what was not covered added to the pile, the crown must wait and the prayer that the tooth won't crack begins. Oh and lets not forget accidentally poisoning myself. A dizziness that is relentless, at times so strong is makes me physically sick and just the thought of adding to that not covered pile makes me just live with it. Not to mention the racing heart. Mother nature being the cruel psycho she can be added a touch of dehydration which apparently is even harder to recover from while it is still sweltering out. Gotta love her energy. It is when in pain and exhausted that you must smile and show strength.
Yes, through struggle, realization, sickness, pain and dismay I learned that one must just believe it will all turn around. One must make the energy to focus on making those things turn around and may even need to flip some the bird while doing so. In the end it's all about how you prepare for battle... head held high (helmet), laughter in place (armor) and positive (sword).