Hello Everyone,

August 2019

It's been over 3 years since I have posted any material.

Today I begin with a trilogy based off a challenge someone gave me.

Enjoy the read

~g

November 07, 2011

AndMore...No greater enemy

There are times I truly believe there is no greater enemy to me then me.

Most of you have read the stories of accidental pain inflicted on myself.  For many years I was convinced my obituary would say 'died of accidental suicide'.

Well...let's get this over with

Scrappy nose
I have a terrible cold, the worst of it has passed but some of the congestion remains.  At one point for a few days I had the drips.  A constant flow to the nose that made me wonder why they haven't invented a tissue that you stuff up there and it continuously absorbs.  All the blowing of the nose left it scabby and/or peeling.

I went to upstate this weekend, a long overdue trip of just pure serene medicinal healing.  My uncle immediately noticed my nose and went into his McGyver mode.  He brought back an ointment, this thing is MAGIC.  I forgot the name but it sort of has the tingling of Vicks.  I put some on my nose and within hours the scaly effect was gone, a scab was healing.  MAGIC!  The next day my aunt and I were planning a small trip to a quaint town.  I mentioned how well the ointment worked and she suggested I put some more on.  I did.

It was time to get ready so I got my contacts (blind as a bat I am).  PAUSE

I have been wearing contacts for decades.  The rule of thumb is to always wash your hands.  But I had just taken a shower.  END OF PAUSE

I grab the contact for the right eye with my middle finger the way I always do, making sure to wet the finger well with the contact solution in the case.  I put the contact in and I felt a cool breeze in my eye...then...THE WORST FUCKING PAIN I EVER FELT.  FIRE!!! It felt as though a fire was lit on my eyeball.  The ointment on my hand!!!!  I tried to be silent and not let my aunt know what a Baboon I was.  I kept hearing the scream in my head FUCKING OW OW OW OW!!!!  SWEET JESUS, MARY AND JOSEPH WHY DO YOU LEAVE ME ALONE WITH MYSELF????????

With a small voice I commented "I amaze myself sometimes'.  My aunt looked at me and saw the stress in my eyeball...the truth is out.  You would think that was the end of the story...but....

I washed my hands took out the contacts rinsed it and started again, got it right and the left one too.  Now for makeup.  I put some moisturizer on my hands and began to put it on my face, rubbing it all on...all...over...my...face......  THE WORST FUCKING PAIN WAS BACK!!!!  SWEET JESUS, MARY AND JOSEPH the ointment on my nose is now all over my face and eyes.  FUCKING GREAT JUST FUCKING GREAT!!!!!  My aunt looks toward me to make sure all is ok, I gave the best smile I could muster and when she turned around I put my face in hands in utter disgust.

PLEASE...PLEASE...UNIVERSE!!! MAKE THE BURNING STOP!!!!!  It took some time but it did.  I put on a tad of mascara and left the rest to faith.  I brushed my hair the whole time thinking... WHY????

WHY??? I had just gotten over the razor pain!

Razor pain - note to self, don't shower without contacts on and attempt to shave.  I have cuts on legs and arm pits that would require several layers of neosporin after a strong dose of benadryl.  Come to think of it the mantra I had in the shower was similar 'OH MY FUCKING GOODNESS THAT WAS FLESH!!!!! FUCKING GREAT JUST GREAT!!!  And yet... I kept shaving.....

Who is my greatest enemy? Could it really be me?????

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