27 days until Christmas...Imagine 300+ days

I wonder how many people don't see many of their families until the holidays.

300+ days of not seeing and possibly speaking with family, then one day or maybe two they all get together. Strangers at best trying to find out all the scoop of one another in a short time, in the sake of the holiday cheer.


Imagine keeping in touch much more often than that.....


I wonder how many people dread seeing their family during the holidays.

300+ days of ignoring certain family members because of drama, dislikes, disagreements and/or just because you have better things to do.  Then you show up and find yourself forcing a one day or maybe two of a family relationship.  Just to dread it for 300+ days again.


Imagine just accepting someone as they are knowing that everyone has a reason for being who they are.


I wonder how many people for selfish reasons prefer to be with friends or even strangers at a party, rather then be with family.

300+ days of seeing friends, meeting people and yet still on the holiday you rather be with them then give up some time for family.


Imagine getting them all together.  Just throwing your own party and inviting them all.  Would it be fun?


I wonder how many people are alone in the holidays.  Weeping for the lost ones, the forgotten ones and themselves.

300+ days of loneliness compounded on a day or maybe two where everywhere you turn you see it's time for togetherness.


Imagine how that person would feel being invited to spend a day or maybe two among company.


I wonder how many people will read this and agree and yet still do the same.


Imagine if for this holiday season we would extend ourselves, change our routine and just be...


Oh the possibilities of it carrying for 300+ days more.

28 days till Christmas...Her side!

It took me by surprise that it is only 28 days till Christmas.


As I watched the news and read articles of the Black Friday madness I began to think.  What is the holidays really about?


Her side!
It's not about the perfect gift that someone told you to get her.
It's not about the appliance you think she needs.
It's not even about the dreaded holiday party you feel obligated to attend.


It's much simpler then that.
It's the perfect time to ponder on the year.  What have you 'not' done that would surprise her?  Have you sent a letter?  Not a text, an email or a sticky note!  Just a letter never using the words like, love or want.  And pray tell not more then two I's.  A letter full of innuendos, smile causing and blush filling thoughts.


Its the perfect time to swallow discomfort and schedule that massage for two.
The perfect time to order a fine meal and surprise her with an at home candle lit dinner.  And...if you are adventurous at all... serve it wearing only an apron.


It's the time when you can give the gift of showing.  Showing appreciation  like, love and kindness.  Wrap that in a gift.  I dare you!!!!

By all means shop for an item or two but make the best gift the one to remember.


As the stores scramble to get all you can spend.  As the commercials remind you that diamonds are forever. As your friends and co-workers speak of their gift list with bragging in tone.  Smile.... say nothing..... and just plan on the best holiday for her.


I mean really....the end result would be the best holiday for you too....*wink-wink*

Inspiration me....change

I have been allowing the serenity prayer to marinade in my brain....


God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, The courage to change the things I can, And the wisdom to know the difference.

It is in reading this in reverse that I have found it the best way to understand.  The wisdom to know the difference.....

I have spent the better part of two weeks thinking.  When ones life is completely in chaos one must stop, listen and breath.


My breath caught up to me in the place it always does.....the mountains.  It took so long to get there, the commute exhausts me.  Two days in a weekend goes like two hours.  Thanks to the holiday I had two days to rest and two days to get to Serenity and come to peace.


Talking to my Uncle and Aunt does something for me.  Allows me to hear my own voice.  These days one can't have a conversation without interruption.  There...I can talk, repeat and recycle until I understand....me.

I understood what I already knew I just understood further.  I understood that it was time to take action.  If my life were a pie half would be commute and work.  A quarter would be family and the last quarter would be a monotonous occurrence.  Something that doesn't change no matter the hope or belief.  Something that I allow even though no one should.

So there I have it.  I know where the difference is and it is long past time that I make a change and relieve some of life's stress and turmoil.


I can't change family, they are for keeps, what I can change is how much I allow.  This is a good acceptance and I have been working on it.  It's not enough to remove chaos.

I can't change my commute, no matter where I move it's the same hell.  If I leave Jersey again it will be to a year long warmer climate state.  Economically this isn't the time.  I can't change or control this yet.

The pie leaves me with the last quarter.  This I can change, this I can control.  This will give me a quarter of my life where for a while it will hurt, it will despair me but there will be hope that it will become a quarter filled.  Filled with something that is mundane, a monotonous occurrence or momentary respite.

One quarter hope.  One quarter faith.  One quarter relief.  That's a whole lot more then I have had in the last 3 years.


I accept the things I can not change (and hope and have faith that in time it will).
I have the courage to change the things I can (and know that the pain will ease as it should).
I have the wisdom to know the difference (and that was a long time coming).


Letting go, letting be, letting me.  That is my new mantra.

Beauty in the mail

BEST BIRTHDAY GIFT

A friend of mine gave me the most wonderful birthday gift this year.  A six month prepaid subscription to Sample Society.

Anyone who knows me will say that I hate shopping.  I will pick one thing and get the standard brown, blue or black.  Simple and consistent.  Makeup is just as routine.

To get me out of my comfort zone with colors and also to help me with my dread for shopping, she signed me up for this wonderful treat.  She is familiar with my subscription with Allure (love that mag) and began buying it herself when she found this service.

I began to investigate further and found some gems.  I will post each beauty in the mail type business in separate posts.  I will start with my fav.

SAMPLE SOCIETY

Sample Society is an online service by Beautybar.com.  This service will send you on a monthly basis FIVE deluxe-sized samples from luxury brands like....

Strivectin, Erno Laszlo, DDF, Deborah Lippmann, Oscar de la Renta
to name just a few.

The subscription price is a dreamy $15 per month.  If you have commitment issues you can cancel anytime.

I also got a nifty $15 coupon in the box to use against any full size purchase of the samples.  AWESOME!

I loved all the samples in my first bag.  Here's what I got:

Dermalogica Precleanse Deluxe sample

(LOVE THIS, I plan on buying a full size, although the sample has lasted 2 weeks so far and I use it daily)


Alterna Bamboo Smooth Kendi Dry Oil Mist - this baby just makes my hair shine without any greasy feeling.


Diego dalla palma The Lipstick Deluxe Sample #42-Frost Golden Brick.
I was not too fond of this color for my skin tone but the texture was great for a lipstick.

L'Occitane Shea Butter Hand Cream Deluxe Sample
This hand cream is smooth and smells clean and fresh.  I really liked it and would purchase just for travels.  Great handbag cream.


Diptyque Volutes Eau de Toilette Deluxe Sample

The sample was one of those tiny vials.  Loved the scent but I am not a perfume person.  It is really is a romantic, will wear when going out to impress scent.  Not too heavy nor floral.

All that for $15?????  I was very surprised and pleasantly so.

I mean I get to actually test nice size samples of things for only $15 a month?  Yeah!  I'm keeping and extending this subscription.

I don't know about  you but I thought this gift was BRILLIANT!  I not only love my samples, but I love that on a monthly basis I get a box with some surprises in it.  Kinda makes it feel like it's my birthday every month.

I think this is a great gift idea, the kind that keeps on giving!

The next sample/beauty in a bag posting will be on Little Black Bag.  This one is just plain dangerously addictive.  There's trading and choosing and deadlines OH MY!

Until then click below to see Allure magazines list of beauty sample boxes by mail.  I will only post on those I have tried...curious about the Birchbox one though:

ALLURE

AndMore...Is being realistic the same as being negative?

With all the positive messages going on, The Secret exploding on book shelves and talk show hosts promoting the theme...have we lost a grip on reality?

It's been a stressful year.  Not just day, week or month.  By the time the Sandy Storm came I was already burning out.  After the storm I felt more like a numb person just going through the motions.  My mid day break during the week is the time where I mentally tally the day.  I have to figure out what will be done and what else will sit on the burner.  By the time I walk back to my desk I would have a plan.


One day on my break I was deep in thought and someone noticed.  There is so much to say about the conversation that followed, but I will stick to the theme of this post.  He asked why I was deep in thought and looking so exhausted.  I explained my one way 6 hour commute was getting to me.  Prior to the storm the 2-3 hour it would take was getting to me. Before I could say that at some point things will change, he began his chant.  'Your health comes first. Perhaps you have no man because you are wasting your time with just work (he asked if I were married earlier in conversation).  You need to be positive and believe everything will go your way.  You must put your health first and leave a job that takes most of your life. You are miserable because you are negative.'


Incredible! He got all that with a 3 sentence answer to a question.  I replied in bullet form.
My health is taken care of due to the insurance from my job.
My relationship status is my concern...thanks
I am positive.  I am also realistic.  Leaving a job doesn't pay the rent, Dr. or bills.

He was so upset that he was yelling.  Saying that it was no use 'helping me' because I liked being miserable.  That I was not positive and therefore miserable.  I laughed.

The irony is...I was only miserable after he started talking to me.


A friend was telling me about how she wanted to begin looking into how to save money to purchase a home.  To get with an accountant to see about the best way to begin that process.  A friend of hers began to say how all she had to do was believe she would get a home and BHAM! it would arrive.


Another friend was having issues with her husband.  He was always narcissistic, lately more so.  Another friend of ours was overpowering the conversation by saying she just had to believe that things will change and they will.  No other effort required.


This reminds me of the mother years ago that was schizophrenic.  She was also a devout christian.  Rather then take her medication she believed that by believing she would he healed.  She was given the guidance that she had to believe she would be cured, if she wasn't then she didn't believe.  The voices ended up telling her to kill her sons.  One died, one survived thanks to his father.  Her belief did not waiver.

I have no problem with believing.  Even less problem with visualizing, however I don't believe that we were created the way we are so that we could be lazy egomaniacs sitting around waiting for things to happen.


Believing that my commute would get better didn't happen.  It's worse.  Believing that a house would fall on my friends lap, didn't happen.  What will happen is looking clearly with an open mind for all the options that open up when one pays attention.

I believe that a small book was created by repeating very small portions of what others spent years compiling.  It's not just about believing, it's not just about being positive.  It's about being open, being ready and working towards a greater goal.

It is by talking aka networking that we find out what is out there.  Yet, one can't talk without being accused of being negative.  One can't dream or plan without getting preached about being positive.   It's the new religion.  It really is.

So... I ask.... does being realistic equate to being negative?

I don't think so.  If I see a truck coming at me, I will realistically move out of the way.  Not stand there and be positive that the outcome will be positive.