Dear Diary...I'm all wet

Dear Diary,

Long past are the days where anything is made to last.  Nothing is American made anymore and I am sure other countries are purposely FUCKING up products knowing we will get them.  Then again if I had to make things for another country for $.75 a week, I probably wouldn't make a strong effort.

Oh Diary, I remember as a child one would get a nice umbrella and that BITCH UMBRELLA would last the whole school year.  Actually, one would get upset because it lasted so long you couldn't get a nice bright pink one like that little diva BYTCH Veronica I grew up with.

Instead Diary, one must spend 12+ dollars for a FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT that won't last a block let alone a rain storm.  This CESSPOOL of an island is known for the umbrella stack.  Even Letterman dressed a child on his talk show as NY trash can with broken umbrellas sticking out for Halloween.

Diary...I bought an umbrella yesterday 12+ FUCKING DOLLARS and the PIECE OF SHIT didn't last a block.  There I was in torrential rains, wind storms that made my panties cringe, droplets of water from clouds mocking this Island with a downpour that threatened the doom met in Sodom and Gomorrah; holding on to the PIECE OF SHIT umbrella that immediately turned inside out.  The cheap ass arms that is supposed to hold the fabric twisting like a lepers infested limb.

Dearest Diary, is it me?  IS IT ME?  IS IT FUCKING ME?????? Or is there an umbrella conspiracy to make people buy the PIECE OF SHIT at the price of a long lasting item with the manufacturing of a one time disposable product?

Diary...would it be too much to ask to have a small window, a window where I could have the person that created these umbrellas in a room and an empty jar of Vaseline so I could RAM ONE OF THESE PIECE OF SHIT umbrellas up their ASS?????  Without repercussions from the law?  Really???? Is it so much to ask??????

Now I sit at my desk with kinky hair that won't settle down.  Wet jeans that weigh me down.  A soaking bra that won't make the day.  Socks that squish - squish with every step and a day old umbrella that WON'T FUCKING CLOSE.