HIATUS

Well folks, it's that time of year when I go into writing hiatus.  See you in a few months.

For inspirational material I shall continue with the writings of the below authors, I hope you will too:

Biting Back by Claudia Cunningham
Inner Power Wisdom by Dr. Antonia M.
The language of letting go by Melody Beattie
and the many works of Dr. Dyer.

This site as well as Facebook will be deactivated.

Happy Spring Folks!

~gracey

Inspiration me...today i will.....getting calm

today I will stop searching for happiness outside of myself.  If I'm in a frenzied state, I'll get calm, get back on track, and remember that the key to happiness is inside me.  Often, after I've become peaceful and accepting, what I want comes to me with ease. ~Language of letting go by Melody Beattie

'A lot changes when you stop medicating your pain in the same old way you always have.' ~ Biting Back by Claudia Cunningham

'thoughts can be felt' Energy - although invisible to the naked eye, energy may be perceived and felt. ~ 365 ways to live the law of attraction by Meera Lester

It's amazing, I started a journey a over year ago to find out why the people around me are the way they are.  Why I attract the same behavior.  The lesson so far has been that I can not learn their behavior because it is not consistent or it is hidden behind a facade.  What I have learned instead is me.  The key word is attract.

When I feel pain or troubled it is not a normal reaction to me to speak of it.  Rather...I retreat, allow my own thoughts to unfold or write.  In the past few years I have tried the talk, vent, speak until blue in the face method and still felt the same.  Talking does not help me.  Thinking does.  I am a fairly intelligent woman that has survived many of life's obstacles, not by talking....but....by thinking, rethinking, accepting, letting go and in most cases just praying and believing in that prayer.

Full circle I have come.  I know this place now.  I know me.  Not the me others try to make - the real me.  Strong and decisive.  A lot does change when you stop reacting the same.  A lot changes more when  you remove anger and resentment.

Someone once asked me how I knew the feelings or lack of from another.  That answer is simple, if you take ego out of the equation, take paranoia out as well, if you remove all the obstacles you - yourself place; your instincts are like a beacon.  You will sense, see and know what another is feeling; more so if  you have witnessed a variation of their emotions before.  Knowing is not enough...what you do with that knowledge is the test of time. 

Do you accept the negativity, anger or abuse?  Do you make excuses for anothers actions?  Do you allow yourself to be a dormat?  Do you become someone else's joy for the scraps they give in return?  Or...do you see the reality and make no fantasy of it.  Do you take a stand for yourself?  Do you even realize that only you can make you happy?  I realize.  I realize and now work at making it so.

The key to happiness 'is' inside of me.  Where is yours?

GREAT BOOK

Just finished Palaces & Calluses book by Rebecca Woodhead, great read!

Can't wait for the rest of the Chronicles to come out on this gem.  Download a copy: 

http://www.rebeccawoodhead.com/p/palaces-and-calluses.html

The Watcher sees......

The Watcher sees and writes.....
She walks along with an air of privilege cutting lines while talking on the cell phone.  Hopping on the first cab that pulls over.  The quick and arrogant act causes a line of people to go through shock than anger.

He listens in on the conversation, then jumps right in with negativity.  Has a crack or two usually out of spite.  Yet...a real whiner if the tables are turned.

He says one thing, does another.  He complains of the lack of trust, yet thinks his repeating is not known.  The innocent look fooling no one.

She says one thing and always means another.  She gets upset when people don't understand her.

They sit in a group, always the same people.  Always the same conversation.  They fester about the world and how unfriendly it is.  A person greets them...........they snicker.

She washes clothes.  She uses several machines.  He walks by and snidely comments on how much money she must be spending on all those loads.  She says hello and how are you.  He grumbles and leaves.

I heard someone tell another 'What a miserable world we live in'.  I hear one tell another 'Life is so hard'.  I shake my head at it all.

The Watcher observes....
Life is not hard.  It just is.  People make it hard.
The world is not miserable, the world just is.  People make it miserable.

To feel as though your very presence is a heralding is something that I am sure your maker and you will discuss one day.  Until then...it would be much nicer if people just remembered we share this world.

How many times do you cut a line?  That rush in the market, a sneaky stealth?  I have been with people that really make a to do about it.  If you are in that much of a rush, LEAVE EARLIER.

Are you the conversation stalker?  Do you listen in then think you have the right to comment, judge or criticize over what you bent over backwards to hear?

Are you so confused that you say one thing and do another?  That nerve racking a$$ that then gets miffed when someone gets upset about it?  Be consistent or at least honest.

Do you say things you don't mean?  Just agree with everything?  Try having an opinion of your own.  No one really appreciates a parrot.  It's like talking to the mirror.  It's also like saying one thing and doing another.

Are you in a click?  Every day with the same people?  Having the same conversations.....about other people?  That has to be miserable.  How can you know so much (I say that with sarcasm) if you don't branch out?  That person to your left and right can't know more if they are always with you and not branching out themselves.

Are you getting older and grumpier?  You can't say anything nice so you pose a question indicating a complaint or annoyance?  Get over it.  Yes, there are younger people out there, yes, they can be annoying, yes you were once them too.

Are you?  Do you?  How many times?....  be a watcher.  Watch what you may be like and see if you can make a difference and not just complain about it.

Inspiration me...dreary day; double dip

What a dreary day.  So much so that I needed to pull two cards for a pick me up.

Let intuition and inner wisdom shine through, and you will not have to rely upon the glitter of gold to light your way.  ~Master Key 2:4 Inner Power Wisdom by Dr. Antonia M.

To find love, demonstrate it. Be the love of your own life, and you will never want for companionship.  ~Master Key 30:3 Inner Power Wisdom by Dr. Antonia M.

Intuition - I have spoken and written much of it.  An international pen-pal and I have been on months long written conversation of it.

'I have a feeling.'  'I had a vision.'  'I had this dream.'  When you don't listen to your intuition it will try to get through one way or another until you either pay attention or completely ignore and get caught unaware.

Scientifically the research is still that there are 4 types of intuition:

1. Clairvoyant - ability to 'see'
2. Clairaudient - ability to 'hear'
3. Clairkinetic - ability to 'feel'
4. Clairsentient - ability to 'know'

It still boils down to one thing.  Are you watching, listening, sensing or thinking?  It's not a 'gift'.  We all have it.  It's just that some of us pay closer attention, are more in-tuned or have less chaos in our minds.

The gift is not having intuition, it is in paying attention to it.

Loving  yourself takes knowing and accepting yourself.  In taking the good and improving the bad and saying 'what the heck' to all else.  When you get to this point of self knowing, self love, your intuition is like your own crystal ball.

Inspire to love yourself in a healthy manner.  Inspire to fine tune your intuition.

Inspiration me...detachment

'Today I will commit myself to detachment. I will allow myself and those around me the freedom to be as they are'. ~The seven spiritual laws of success by Deepak Chopra

'The fact that we continue to be in relationship with and feed partners, friends, employers, neighbors, and beliefs that are vampires to us.....' Biting Back by Claudia Cunningham

'Grace, explain the Serenity prayer, I don't think people 'really' understand it completely'. ~B. R. Soto

1. God grant me the serenity
2. to accept the things I cannot change;
3. courage to change the things I can;
4. and wisdom to know the difference.

I can't answer for what the author meant when the above Serenity prayer was written.  I can say what I get out of it.

1.  I haven't the strength, will or reality to accept the inner peace required for #2.
2. Don't we just want to change the world?  The reality is, one person, one voice can't.  We also can't change people, we can't 'make' them into anyone else but who they want to be.  Accepting that fact means letting go of a tremendous amount of ego and arrogance.
3. Now...the things we can change...there's where our energy would benefit most.  Imagine changing yourself and how you think.  For example, if a certain type of energy vampire constantly appears in your life.  Rather than thinking with ego and arrogance that you can change those vampires, how about finding out what it is about you that entices them?  Are you allowing the feeding?  Are you allowing certain actions that you are truly not comfortable with making the excuse that they will eventually change?  Imagine just changing that outlook alone, how much of the 'things you can't control' will not be an issue.
4. Don't I wish I had the consistent wisdom to know the difference.  But...as I study, as I take my inner journeys, as I reflect in constructive earnest......I gather the wisdom to know the difference.

Deepak says it with a certainty that is clear. 'I will allow myself', there it is!  Simple.  It starts with YOU!

By definition serenity means - "The state of being calm, peaceful, and untroubled"* - that's where it starts.  Stop the chaos, the festering, the over thinking, the controlling what can not and should not be controlled.  Meditate.  Be...calm...peaceful...untroubled...SERENE.

*dictionary.com

The watcher....inspiration squirrel

5th Avenue and many people walk about in a rush, blindly aiming for one another than getting upset that the sidewalk is not clear.  A mere child holding her father's hand......stops....she looks around than up at her father 'where is everybody going'?   I just had to laugh.

She says to him 'I've had it.  They are ALL evil.  I hate that place.'  He says 'But...we need to pay the bills, hang in there.'  She sulks.

The three sit at the table, wine glasses in hand....one is angry at her husband, the other at her boss and the third at herself.  I just went in to grab a menu when I heard.....'Life sucks!' and all agreed.

I pass Madison Ave and a woman in extremely high heeled shoes is yelling and cussing at another woman with even higher heels. 'Can't you watch where you are going?'.....the other 'Can't you?', more nonsense back and forth.

I stop and stared but I was looking right through them.

I reached Central Park and sat for a bit.  I had walked several blocks from the East Side.  I grab the little book in my bag and read a page or two.  I looked up to notice a squirrel.  The first I have seen in NYC in the 3 yrs I work here.  It is just leaning back on a tree trunk, watching the people walk by.  Peddlars begging, tourists lost, angry people screeching, horns blowing........  Once or twice the squirrel would nibble on something.  At one point we just stared at each other.  It left...occassionally looking back at the street side while going deeper into the park.

He was probably as disgusted as I was.

Back to the book -' Kindness begets kindness. Thinking good thoughts instead of dark or evil ones is a way of doing good.  When you silently bless others, that is a good thing and good is attracted back into your life.' ~365 Ways to live the law of attraction by Meera Lester

There it is in a nutshell.  We can't even have good thoughts so how can we be good to one another.  Hatred, anger, insecurity, selfishness, lies...the list goes on.  All the emotions and characteristics that keep one from succeeding in life.

A friend once told me 'Why expect good from people and get disappointment'.  Another constantly has bitter remarks on anything concerning men.  And.....yet another about women.  The friend that awaited a long time to have kids....complaining about having kids.  I shake my head at it all.

The squirrel had the right idea.  Eat, watch and leave.  Go find another place, less ----chaotic.

If you can't remove chaos - by all means remove yourself from it.  Evil begets evil.  Anger begets anger......unless you can change it (good luck) or remove yourself from it.  So, I walk on and reach an avenue that is less chaotic...only all avenue at this point have chaos.  What then?

The serenity program says it all....

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

Accept what you can not change.  Just remember you 'can' change yourself.  Courage your way to that change for the better.  Have the wisdom to know how, when and why.

Inspiration me...I love you

The family - that dear octopus from whose tentacles we never quite escape, nor, in our inmost hearts, ever quite wish to. ~Dodie Smith



I don't have the greatest affection for the word family.  Since Dad died I feel as though he took that word and all it's meaning with him.  Truly his love and existence was the glue.

My Uncle seems so much more that it is hard to refer to him as 'family'.  He's been a friend, parent, brother, cousin, guide, spiritual alliance, counselor, prankster, jokester and above all else consistent.

He and my aunt are the ones that say I love you to me and I feel it in my heart as well as hear it for all it's worth.  My aunts hugs are pure medicine that screams I love you.  My Uncles literally gives me strength when I need it most.

It is rare when I can say those words.  Rare still when I hear them.  This weekend I heard them profoundly and I felt something seep in I had begun to stop believing in.........hope.

I guess I can only say what I really mean in the way I speak best.

Old friend

Enemy at times you old bedfellow
you've caught me when mellow
I hate not who you are

Friend at times; I miss you
I angered and you flew
Hope you left me---scarred

Bond we are to no end
I see this now...friend
you are truly...my guiding
star
2011©Gracey Castro

Inspiration me... from anywhere you can get it

Last night was a long night.  It felt hot as hell and I kept hearing sounds in my sleep.  Finally at 4:27 am; I woke and nearly cried out of frustration that I could not get back to sleep.  A consistent scraping sound as light as I could hear it seemed to boom into my ears. 'What the heck is wrong with me?'  Probably the cat from next door.  Probably from outside.  I felt as though it were not close but it sounded like it were coming from a paging system.  I had to get up early to get to work and of all nights, this is the one where sleep escaped me.

The alarm went off and I woke...feeling as though I knew something but had no clue what.  A drive I had not felt in a while set my pace.

When I got to work I felt as though I needed more then one card, one page or one quote.  I pulled them all out....

Master Key 42 - Be not afraid to want what you want. And be not afraid to have it. ~Inner Power Wisdom by Dr. Antonia M.

Accepting change - today I will be open to the process of change. I will trust my Higher Power and believe that the place where I'll be dropped off is better than the place where I was picked up. I know that change is necessary to take me wherever I need to go. ~The language of letting go by Melody Beattie

'I look for the meaning of life within myself. - If you want to find a deeper meaning in your life, you can't find it in the opinions of the beliefs that have been handed to you. You have to go to that place within yourself.' ~Inner wisdom cards by Dr. Wayne Dyer

'This is my life, and my choice about how to live it.' ~ Biting Back by Claudia Cunningham

It hit me like a ton of bricks.  I know what kept me tossing and turning, awake and frustrated.  I had just spent a weekend Upstate.  The zen of all zens for me.  I woke in a different atmosphere, heck...different state.  I came back and as I drove I felt as I did when I was driving there.  I am at other people's home, I want my own.  I want to lay on a bed that is mine.  Wake to the sounds that is me. 

I felt more displaced, confused and without a purpose.  And I felt it in my sleep.  In all the grounding I managed for myself, it made clear that it was time.  Time to make clear to self of my purpose and follow through, no matter what.

I reach for a card, it rings close, pick another, closer, pick another closer, I grab the book and I can't deny that yet again...it rings close.  Affirmation after affirmation.  Blessed be!

I am not afraid to want and have. I am not afraid to have it. I believe in myself and so understand self is talking to me loud and clear, it is time to listen. After all, it is my life and like happiness, it is only I... that can live it, have it.

Inspiration me...Enlightenment

'The moment of enlightenment contains some of the dazzling characteristics of transfiguration, but the difference is that anyone can do it.' ~One moment meditation by martin boroson

'There are more ways to die than our hearts stopping on us, you know. There's living death too---a way of moving through our days that may seem like living, but its not in service to ourselves. ~Biting Back by Claudia Cunningham

'A person starts to live when he can live outside himself.' ~ Albert Einstein

I have been on emotional journeys that have left me...enlightened.  Even through the years of pain and numbness I would eventually see the lesson that needed to be learned.  How would I learn while just existing.  Each day is like a book of two pages.  Get up, go to work, do the commute again, watch a show, talk myself through getting ready to sleep and start that mundane existence.  On rare occasion a third page appears, but the reality is that the third page is the exception and not the rule.

It's a death I tell you.  To just exist.  To have no purpose.  Worse yet, a suicide to just go along with it.  I'm not a quitter.  Hell....I'm a down right rebel!  And I rebel this mere existence.

I sit while staring at the view of serenity.  The realization that this view I have learned to call my Zen will not be a view available for much longer.  However sad that realization is -- it invigorates me!  It is time to change the inner landscape as well as the outer.

Death you FIEND in whatever form you show - I tell you to BE GONE!  I've got some living to do, so get the hell out of my way.

Depression can kiss my ass.  Doubt can take a turn.  Negativity can just take a jet out.  I've got plans and I'm getting to it.

Are you just existing? Still?  Do you understand enlightenment starts from within?  Are you the walking dead?  Or...are you bending over slapping your butt while planning which direction to take next?