Hello Everyone,

October 2015

I love October, not just because it is my birthday month but because the air changes, the season changes, the time changes.

It is when we must embrace the fact that the time change will have us seeing the dark sooner. A time when the trees begin to let loose the leaves, orange, brown and yellow leaves flying about.

It is the time when the ghouls and horrors are seen in decorations, shows, movies and parties.

It is the time when we say farewell to the summer heat, smile toward the cooler weather and wonder of the winter to come.

Happy October! May there be light within you to shine upon the earlier darker hours. May the ghouls and gremlins that ring the door bell make you smile and partake in trick or treat.

May you embrace the change in season knowing... it will bring us back to Spring soon enough.

I have added a tab - Whisper my words, which is a link to my site where I post stories, poems, AndMore events and the Watcher's Journal. Take a peek and enjoy.



June 27, 2011

Inspiration me...Pause, breathe, be still

Master Key 52:3 - You cannot change the past, but you can evolve the way you respond to it presently. ~Inner Power Wisdom Cards ~Dr. Antonia

Just breathe, again...breathe.  STOP and breathe. ~Uncle

You can break or you can fight. G...FIGHT! ~my conscious

I spent hours going through things in storage looking for my sons documents which he needs for his enlistment to the military.  I was getting more and more nervous.  I can not find them or mine.  I was a result of identification fraud and have been very careful for years with my documents.  Living like a Gypsy the past several months have left me with the remainder of my things in different locations.

The rush to get the documents left me with one panic attack after another.  Not wanting to be the 'reason' that they give him a hard time, as much as I am against his decision, I wanted to find it.

At one point I watched as my mother and sister helped.  None of us happy about the task.  It just seemed pointless.  Slowly but surely this family comes together and my son makes this decision, which pulls him apart.  A decision which my instincts say are made with the wrong reasons.

It wasn't until I got home; at around midnight I am watching TV with the roommate.  A mirage of memories, spinning before my eyes like a kaleidoscope.......My son wanting a job at Shoprite years ago, I gave him his documents so that he could apply.  He wanted to prove being responsible yet he lost the papers.  Again for the job at the theatre, he needed his papers, new originals....never got them back.  He could take care of his own papers he said.....just in case I ordered yet another set of originals.

He either hasn't looked for his or lost them.  I can't locate my set....  I break the news.  He presses on 'I really need them, I have to have to those papers'.  More memories....

I snapped.  The tears stopped, the panic attack stopped, I sat and heard myself 'breathe'.  I vowed I would take the next day (Sunday) to myself.  No chores.  No frantic searches.  No visiting.  No thinking.  Just vegetate.

I called my Uncle and of all that he spoke...I remember two things consistently...'You don't have to go through this alone, you don't have to go through panic attacks alone or Dr.'s appts.'  DON'T - The word of the week.  Don't think! Don't cry! Don't panic!  But this time, it sounded more the like the choice that it really is.  I BREATHED!  That's when I noticed my emotions had finally finished building the wall.  The one that would protect me while I gain strength.  The bricks are settled tight.

It's true...I CAN'T change the past...but I surely will change the way I respond to the present.

Monday morning....First time in a couple of weeks I had no nightmares, no night tremors.  I still cry but no panic attack......Inner Power...Inner Wisdom...Breathe!