I moved again. Within 30 days I moved. So just when I was getting used to NOT getting lost in Roselle, I move to another town in NJ closer to the Path. Something tells me it's not that hard to get around in that town, but the lack of internal compass is showing otherwise.
Monday: I go shopping. I found the Walmart while trying to find the street I know live on. I did some food shopping, it's hot as hell so now I really have to find the street. I get the Dummy Husband GPS, he didn't let me down.
Tuesday: I get to the car and find that the town knows I live there, I got a ticket, street cleaning. You have to move the car by 9; I was 3 minutes late. (Actually I did not know it was street cleaning, not all streets have the sign). Welcome $$$$
Tuesday PM: I go to the monthly gathering of Healing Man Healing Woman; Houston Street in Manhattan has a lot of places I really want to visit. Cafes', bars, restaurants and shops. This was my second trip and first where I was not lost. I even stopped and grabbed a Grays Papaya and adopted an International Kid along the way. The gathering was awesome.
I took the path home and once in town I turned on my phone GPS (yep still trying to cut down that 15 minute walk which is taking 45 to 60). GPS could not find me... That's not good. I walked around for 1/2 an hour, all those fucking houses look a like. I tripped twice and to this day my left big toe is bigger and hurts. A cop noticed and pulled over, after a lengthy questioning process Officer Dendy (Dandy as far as I am concerned) figured it would be best to just take me home. He shook his head along the way to find out I have lived there for 4 days and got lost all 4. He left me at the corner and I limped the rest of the way. BASTARD! I showered and realized it was midnight, I crawled into bed.
Wednesday: My first commute to work. I got lost in the am walking to the path station, I got lost at the WTC trying to find the #6 train and I got off the wrong stop. That should have warned me.
TORNADO ALERT: I figured at 5pm that if the tornado did not show then screw it I would try to get home. Death can't possibly be worse then this life......
No Tornado! I got to WTC and couldn't find the path. 1 hour down the drain. Found the path and got lost in town again, praying that the Officer was not on duty that night. My feet were literally talking to me. 'You DUMB MOTHERFUCKER, GET A MAP!'
Odd Couple Bar - I love that bar. Have never been in it but I know it is very close to home.
Sadistic - I am sadistic. I might as well admit it.....Back in NY while looking for the path I had the urge to release the 2 bottles of water I drank. Just a slight urge. By the time I was in the Path train, the urge was a painful need. Once in town I stopped at the Quick Chek and got a large iced coffee......I guess you know where this is going.
HOUSE - I see the house, it is a short 1/2 block. My kidney decides this is a fine time to remind me that what goes in must come out. 'I will make it....I will make it....' (My kidney - 'No you won't...No you won't...) I run up the stairs, unlock the doors. I am drenched in sweat, granted it is hot out but it was more from pain. I pray all the way up that my roommate is not home.
YES! Roommate not home! I make a MAD DASH for the bathroom and I MAKE IT!!!! (sounds of hypothetical crowd cheering).
My feet chime in 'Well BITCH I got you here, but now we are going to let it RIP.' The pain was so bad I wobbled on the heels of my feet. Got my things together showered while tearing (ok, maybe wailing is more like it). Wobbled to bed and literally passed out.
I've learned a few things:
My body betrays me
Don't drink bottles of water when not close to home
Windows Mobile GPS SUCKS
I don't care if my roommate turns out to be a PIMP, I'm not moving for at least 5 months
Cops drive slow
No one should live my kind of life SOBER!
Monday: I go shopping. I found the Walmart while trying to find the street I know live on. I did some food shopping, it's hot as hell so now I really have to find the street. I get the Dummy Husband GPS, he didn't let me down.
Tuesday: I get to the car and find that the town knows I live there, I got a ticket, street cleaning. You have to move the car by 9; I was 3 minutes late. (Actually I did not know it was street cleaning, not all streets have the sign). Welcome $$$$
Tuesday PM: I go to the monthly gathering of Healing Man Healing Woman; Houston Street in Manhattan has a lot of places I really want to visit. Cafes', bars, restaurants and shops. This was my second trip and first where I was not lost. I even stopped and grabbed a Grays Papaya and adopted an International Kid along the way. The gathering was awesome.
I took the path home and once in town I turned on my phone GPS (yep still trying to cut down that 15 minute walk which is taking 45 to 60). GPS could not find me... That's not good. I walked around for 1/2 an hour, all those fucking houses look a like. I tripped twice and to this day my left big toe is bigger and hurts. A cop noticed and pulled over, after a lengthy questioning process Officer Dendy (Dandy as far as I am concerned) figured it would be best to just take me home. He shook his head along the way to find out I have lived there for 4 days and got lost all 4. He left me at the corner and I limped the rest of the way. BASTARD! I showered and realized it was midnight, I crawled into bed.
Wednesday: My first commute to work. I got lost in the am walking to the path station, I got lost at the WTC trying to find the #6 train and I got off the wrong stop. That should have warned me.
TORNADO ALERT: I figured at 5pm that if the tornado did not show then screw it I would try to get home. Death can't possibly be worse then this life......
No Tornado! I got to WTC and couldn't find the path. 1 hour down the drain. Found the path and got lost in town again, praying that the Officer was not on duty that night. My feet were literally talking to me. 'You DUMB MOTHERFUCKER, GET A MAP!'
Odd Couple Bar - I love that bar. Have never been in it but I know it is very close to home.
Sadistic - I am sadistic. I might as well admit it.....Back in NY while looking for the path I had the urge to release the 2 bottles of water I drank. Just a slight urge. By the time I was in the Path train, the urge was a painful need. Once in town I stopped at the Quick Chek and got a large iced coffee......I guess you know where this is going.
HOUSE - I see the house, it is a short 1/2 block. My kidney decides this is a fine time to remind me that what goes in must come out. 'I will make it....I will make it....' (My kidney - 'No you won't...No you won't...) I run up the stairs, unlock the doors. I am drenched in sweat, granted it is hot out but it was more from pain. I pray all the way up that my roommate is not home.
YES! Roommate not home! I make a MAD DASH for the bathroom and I MAKE IT!!!! (sounds of hypothetical crowd cheering).
My feet chime in 'Well BITCH I got you here, but now we are going to let it RIP.' The pain was so bad I wobbled on the heels of my feet. Got my things together showered while tearing (ok, maybe wailing is more like it). Wobbled to bed and literally passed out.
I've learned a few things:
My body betrays me
Don't drink bottles of water when not close to home
Windows Mobile GPS SUCKS
I don't care if my roommate turns out to be a PIMP, I'm not moving for at least 5 months
Cops drive slow
No one should live my kind of life SOBER!
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