Remembrance...yesterday marked another anniversary of Dad's death. As people went on their usual rants and petty complaints of the day, I went through it with an agony words can not describe.
They say time heals all wounds. I say - not all wounds. The pain hasn't dulled one bit.
A surgeon, trying to calm me spoke stories that did exactly that. It calmed me. He spoke of his wife who endured Chemo and Radiation and still died of cancer. That was the last sentence he spoke negatively, he then took me into a lovely walk through his memory. Nostalgia lane was beautiful.
'We were made for each other. Perfect for each other. We had the same sense of humor. We laughed together. We had kids, they are all grown now. We didn't fight. We had small arguments over who was spoiling what child too much, but nothing more than that.'
'We had this running joke for decades. I would call her, Come here, you have to look at this, hurry! And she would stop whatever she was doing and rush over. I would be standing in front of the mirror saying Look at that gorgeous man.' (He would get her every time with that one). One day she turned the tables and played that joke on him. His smile while telling that particular story is one I shall not soon forget.
He spoke of how depressed he was to lose her and barely functioned. How his daughter announced she was pregnant, the first of several grandchildren. 'My grandchildren saved my life.' That was the moment I choked back tears.
He's a small surgeon with an ageless face. He speaks with a hushed tone as if too many years of talking exhausted his vocal chords.
The next day was March 2nd and the thoughts of Dad overwhelmed me. Throughout the entire day, whether via email, text, phone or in person; people did nothing but complain. The economy, the lack of raise, the boss that has it in for them, the spouse or lover that did them wrong, the house they can't afford, the lack of attention.....blah blah blah
I barely spoke throughout the day, too exhausted for even words. It's been four years - my family don't even mention my father. When I speak of him, it mostly feels as though people react in a sense of (let it go).
He was a good man. He had a great sense of humor. Dad used to always say 'Kiddo, no matter what happens in life, don't lose your sense of humor.' When sickness took his sight he still would put the cartoons on and laugh. He's worth remembering. I could speak to him about anything. I miss him, every... single... day.
That surgeon made me realize that he kept his wife alive. With each story to his patients he kept her memory alive. He learned to embrace those memories and cherish the person she was.
I wish he would teach that, many would do well to learn.
I sat across from a co-worker; beer in hand. 'You can't ask anyone these days a simple opening statement like How are you? because you are taken into the realm of their colonoscopy, marital woes, financial distress, work issues or anything and everything that is negative.' He laughed but then paused and said 'You know, you're right.'
I'm sick of all the negativity. Just out right SICK with it. Nobody has a single positive thought or the rare ones that do, over shadow it with a hundred negative ones. If Evil were banking on negativity to win its war, sadly, Evil is close to the prize.
Positive...where oh where have you gotten to?
Who are you? Do you even know? Are you nay saying the day away? Are you taking down anyone else with your downer parade? Are you so miserable that it has become fun to make others as well? Or are you brave and strong enough to kick negative in the ass and put on a brilliant smile and let goodness have a chance at winning?
Really? Which one are you???
They say time heals all wounds. I say - not all wounds. The pain hasn't dulled one bit.
A surgeon, trying to calm me spoke stories that did exactly that. It calmed me. He spoke of his wife who endured Chemo and Radiation and still died of cancer. That was the last sentence he spoke negatively, he then took me into a lovely walk through his memory. Nostalgia lane was beautiful.
'We were made for each other. Perfect for each other. We had the same sense of humor. We laughed together. We had kids, they are all grown now. We didn't fight. We had small arguments over who was spoiling what child too much, but nothing more than that.'
'We had this running joke for decades. I would call her, Come here, you have to look at this, hurry! And she would stop whatever she was doing and rush over. I would be standing in front of the mirror saying Look at that gorgeous man.' (He would get her every time with that one). One day she turned the tables and played that joke on him. His smile while telling that particular story is one I shall not soon forget.
He spoke of how depressed he was to lose her and barely functioned. How his daughter announced she was pregnant, the first of several grandchildren. 'My grandchildren saved my life.' That was the moment I choked back tears.
He's a small surgeon with an ageless face. He speaks with a hushed tone as if too many years of talking exhausted his vocal chords.
The next day was March 2nd and the thoughts of Dad overwhelmed me. Throughout the entire day, whether via email, text, phone or in person; people did nothing but complain. The economy, the lack of raise, the boss that has it in for them, the spouse or lover that did them wrong, the house they can't afford, the lack of attention.....blah blah blah
I barely spoke throughout the day, too exhausted for even words. It's been four years - my family don't even mention my father. When I speak of him, it mostly feels as though people react in a sense of (let it go).
He was a good man. He had a great sense of humor. Dad used to always say 'Kiddo, no matter what happens in life, don't lose your sense of humor.' When sickness took his sight he still would put the cartoons on and laugh. He's worth remembering. I could speak to him about anything. I miss him, every... single... day.
That surgeon made me realize that he kept his wife alive. With each story to his patients he kept her memory alive. He learned to embrace those memories and cherish the person she was.
I wish he would teach that, many would do well to learn.
I sat across from a co-worker; beer in hand. 'You can't ask anyone these days a simple opening statement like How are you? because you are taken into the realm of their colonoscopy, marital woes, financial distress, work issues or anything and everything that is negative.' He laughed but then paused and said 'You know, you're right.'
I'm sick of all the negativity. Just out right SICK with it. Nobody has a single positive thought or the rare ones that do, over shadow it with a hundred negative ones. If Evil were banking on negativity to win its war, sadly, Evil is close to the prize.
Positive...where oh where have you gotten to?
Who are you? Do you even know? Are you nay saying the day away? Are you taking down anyone else with your downer parade? Are you so miserable that it has become fun to make others as well? Or are you brave and strong enough to kick negative in the ass and put on a brilliant smile and let goodness have a chance at winning?
Really? Which one are you???
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